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We all, of course, know our beloved timeline Susie. She's a little angel, helping out all Metaguards with keeping track of all the information we accumulated. But how did she come to be the archivist we all know and love? It is this story that I intend to share with you all today...



(note: events may be slightly to heavily exaggerated, embellished, or completely made up)

So, without any further ado, let's jump right in!



First, we need a family name. This is essentially the name I am referred to as ingame, so...



Next is my wonderful daughter's name...



I'll spare you some of the details. Next up is her birthday, which I actually went and dug up from the Megathread: September 22nd. Next up is my own age (22) and birthday (May 15th). And finally, because the Japanese have some strange ideas...



I'm giving her 'AB' here for two reasons: 1), it's the personality type which comes closest to my own (I don't know what mine actually is...), and 2), as a wiki page, she's a Universal Receiver. In game this will give her an additional 2 Stress at the end of every month, a tiny amount that can be ignored, and has no other effects.

So with all that out of the way, let's start our tale! (some images ripped shamelessly from a similar LP)

There once was a city in the world of mortals.

It's king was proud of his position, and its people were arrogant about their wealth.

Its rulers made light of the gods and ceased to worship them.

Its people sank into debauchery and sloth.

The Lord became angry at this and summoned the Prince of Darkness, ruler of the Underworld.

Accepting the Lord's will, he attacked the world of mortals.



It was a once sided war...

The soldiers of the capital, grown accustomed to peace, fell helplessly before the powerful Demon Army.

The ramparts were destroyed, and the castle was engulfed in flames. It was clear to all that the fall of the castle town was at hand.



Seeing the plight of the capital, the wandering swordsman Anura threw himself into the battle against the Prince of Darkness.

One dark night, he stole into the demons' encampment, and defeated the Prince of Darkness in personal combat.

"You have beaten me! But why are you fighting for these people? It has been divinely ordained that I attack this decadent capital. It is no concern of yours. I killed only fools."

Anura didn't know how to respond.

Suddenly, the Prince of Darkness disappeared along with his army, returning to the Underworld to recover from his defeat.



"Brave warrior. You have saved the capital. It was I who foolishly brought this war upon us. It was divine punishment for my decadence. If you had not appeared, the people of the city would surely have perished along with me."

"It was my fault as well. The king and I have resolved to make a fresh start. We will work together to restore the capital."

"You appear to have been wounded. Why dont you stay in the capital, and help us to rebuild? We beseech you."

And thus Anura came to live in the capital, and to be granted a salary by the king.



One night, when the stars were shining brilliantly in the heavens, Anura felt somehow drawn to go outside...

"Anura..."

A voice called out to Anura from the heavens...

As he lifted his head, he spotted a shooting star. Before his eyes, it slowly descended to the top of a nearby hill.

He ran to the hill, There he found a floating sphere which was shining brightly.



Then, he noticed that inside the light there was a little girl...

"Anura... I am Susue's guardian, Mercury.."

"This darling child has lived in the sacred light since the time she was born."

"She is an innocent child, and knows nothing of the impure world of mortals."



"Now, I entrust you with this child."

"Your actions alone will determine whether she will live or die, and what kind of life she will lead."

"It is all up to you."

"That is all I have to ask. I will be watching from the heavens..."



One year later...



And here she is, 10 today. The interface here only shows basic stuff, like blood type (AB), guardian planet (Mercury), that you already know. Apparently she's 4'8, weighs 85 kilos, and... are those her measurements?! Japan...



Here's some more in-depth stuff. Puella basically means that she's Virgo. She's in the peak of health, and dear god Japan those measurements are to two decimals!



And finally, her actual stats. As a Virgo, she has a natural talent for housekeeping and a slightly lesser talent for magic. Shame her attributes are so low. We'll have to put her to work raising them...

Remember how people said we should do Metaguard Let's Plays, MST3K-style movie riffing, and the like?

Anura is officially the head of the Department of Weird Japanese Role-Playing Games.

If I get a webcam, I call dibs on Anime riffing, and conscript Sicon as my assistant department chief.

AMimsyBorogove wrote:Remember how people said we should do Metaguard Let's Plays, MST3K-style movie riffing, and the like?

Anura is officially the head of the Department of Weird Japanese Role-Playing Games.

If I get a webcam, I call dibs on Anime riffing, and conscript Sicon as my assistant department chief.

Why don't we take different media types? (Dibs on Western Animation.)

This isn't an RPG, Mimsy. It's a Raising Sim.

I was actually referring more to your previous suggestions like Maid RPG, but whatever.

I'm not technically Susie's father, but you better take good care of her.

Why does she have to be a PRINCESS? Couldn't she be, like, a Knight, or a Mage or a Property Developer or something?

I mean VIRGO, really? Could they have been anymore weirdly blatant

Virgo has to do with her birthday, and there are several possible endings (Knight and Mage are on the table; I don't think Property Developer is, but it's been a while).

Okay, to begin with it turns out I may have been wrong about AB blood. It'll raise her stress by only 1 at the end of each month, but it'll also give her 2 free points of Sensitivity at the same time. Not too bad.

With that out of the way, I'll start the proceedings with a basic rundown of the what I have available to me. First, the chats.



I'm an extremely busy man, so I can only spend time with her once per month, under most circumstances. During those times, I could give her pocket money to reduce her stress, or I can scold her if her behaviour gets out of hand. Since I have no need of either at the moment, I'll just have a chat with her.



"What is it? There isn't really anything I'd like to talk about..."

Don't just blow me off! I'm only trying to connect with you! I only get this chance, like, once a month!



Maybe if I give her lots of food she'll like me more? This diet is the most expensive, and she'll gain lots of weight while on it, but it'll also up her constitution. This is important to do early, since it decreases the odds of her falling ill and gives her more HP in combat.

Oh, and the little devil guy is my faithful butler, Cube. He's a demon, but he's still loyal to me for some reason...

You know what's another neat way to get your daughter to like you? Take her shopping!



For dresses!



When winter comes around, it'll be important to have her dressed warmly. So I'm buying her a winter dress for that in advance. I'll buy her a summer dress closer to the appropriate time, and the really fancy stuff when I can afford to.

And it'll be important to dress the part when she starts ingratiating herself with high society. Speaking of which... Susie!

"Yes daddy?"

I think it's time for you to make your societal début. You're 10 now; that's old enough to start making friends in high places!

"...really?"

It's certainly what this game seems to think. Now go up to the palace and introduce yourself!

"..."



"Good day, miss. What is your business here at the palace?"

"I've come to see the people here..."

"Ho ho! You want to make connections, eh? You're quite a modern woman... Well then! Let me give you some advice. The more important the person you talk to, the greater the effect on your reputation will be. However, important people won't easily agree to meet you."

"What should I do?"



As you can see, there's quite a list of people available to talk to. As you go further down the list, Susie will need a higher level of Decorum for the person in question to agree to meet you. If they blow her off for being a rough-tongued commoner, it also wastes the visit, of which she can only make one per month.

There is an exception to this, though. You will always be able to talk to the Jester. Doing so will actually decrease Susie's popularity, although she'll get a boost to sensitivity in the process. Making friends with him may carry certain advantages...

But I'm not interested in taking advantage of that right now. As she has had no training in the proper etiquette, poor Susie can only talk to one other person on this list:



"I think grace and refinement are the most important qualities in a woman."

That's another thing about these visits. Although decorum will determine whether you'll get your conversation, it's another stat that determines how much of an impression she makes, and how much popularity she gains. Said stat is different for each person; for this guy, it's her refinement.

With 9 points of popularity for her efforts, it's time to move on to her schedule for the month.



Now, you can see the possible outcomes here. Since we're already quite far into the month, we've effectively already wasted some potential gameplay. Usually you'd want to make her birthday on the first of whatever month matches your chosen sign for her, but I'm playing honest here. Now, we could send her to school.



Schooling gives huge stat raises, but it's expensive. Those costs? They're per day. And since you pick out tasks in thirds of a month, a week or so of classes will rack up an enormous bill. We plain and simply can't afford that... yet.



Or I could send her out adventuring. With low stats, and no equipment. Yeaaaaaaah, no.



Free time? Free time from what, exactly? I can't afford a vacation, and we really need more money around the house, so...



She's going to do some work. Working also gives stat gains (and losses...), but it also gives money. Except for housework. That's just practice. Now, farmwork gives the most money, and it'll raise her strength and constitution. I already mentioned how important the latter is, so let's go and use this schedule:



Like I said, you select them in units of about a third of a month. So our little Susie's going to spend a week being a cowgirl! How do you feel about that, Susie?

"Yay! Yahoo! Giddyup!"

That's the spirit! I'll hand you over to Farmer Bongor, then. Bongor... *snort*

"You say somethin'?"

Nope! Not me!

"Good. Now then lil' miss, I'm the boss of this farm - name's Bongor."

*snort*

"I may own the land, but the crops still come from God.Work straight and hard, or I'll take it out of your hide."

Wait, what?

"Relax, I don't mean nothin' by it. Besides, I'm sure that she'll..."





Not a single day's work completed, which means she didn't even get paid... Ouch...



C'mere, girl... it's okay... *hugs* At least you still got the stat boosts.

So then, I put it to you guys. Now that you know what's generally going on, what's your advice?

I recommend getting her a princess dress. That cotton dress looks pretty. *is morally obligated to offer absolutely no useful advice*

Train her as a ninja. *is also obligated to offer no useful advice*

I'm not sure what "protocol" is, but she has to learn that, being, you know, a timeline.

This is kinda awesome and kinda weird.

I LIKE IT

@Dryu: Protocol is the Proper Etiquette. The lessons will teach her how to be a proper lady, which will make her able to talk to higher ranking people at the palace. It is very important if you want to make any kind of societal progress, but I can't afford any lessons at all right now...

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"Mistress, the harvest season has arrived. The Harvest Festival is being held in the capital to give thanks to all the gods. You can participate in the Combat Tournament, the Dance Party, the Art Festival, or the Cooking Contest. Each of these presents an opportunity to test the skills you've learned."

*sniff*

"Still hung up over the job, are you? Poor mistress..."

"By the way, Master, this year's pay has arrived from the palace. As per your orders, I'll set aside 500G for the mistresses upbringing."

Hey, I have expenses besides taking care of Susie, y'know! 500G isn't much, but it really is all I can spare. Honest! *cough*

Anyway, the Harvest Festival takes place every October. As Cube mentioned, there are four contests available at that time. Hmm... well, we'd better get some other stuff done first. Like our monthly talk!



Let's try a different topic today...

"Fighting monsters is kind of scary..."

Well it is now! Don't worry, we'll get you toughened up in good time! But first, go do some more socializing!



And with that...



Yaaaaaaaaaaay!

"But I'm no good at any of these things..."

Don't worry! Your cuteness will surely pull you through in the Dance Party.

"Actually sir, since she doesn't have a nice dress to wear, she's not suitable for that particular contest..."

Oh. Well, how about Art? I'm sure that someone will see artistic merit in a child's squiggles. Hell if I know anything about this highbrow stuff...

"Actually sir, the paintings must be prepared in advance, and the mistress has never painted a single picture in her life."

Oh... well, I'm hardly about to put her into the tournament unarmed, so... that just leaves the cooking contest.

"..."

Just... try not to poison anyone, I suppose...

"Dad..."



"You are free to make any dish you choose, provided it is ready by the time the sun reaches the western rampart."





"Stew seems easy enough to make... just cut some things up and boil them together..."



"Cooking no Jutsu!"

(Afro dude): "Oh shit, that little girl knows the legendary Cooking no Jutsu! ...no wait, she's just being silly."





(Beard Dude): ...is something swimming in this stew?

And the winner is... (Susie Susie Susie!)



Too bad. By the way, the mistress scored 11 points.



"Daddy... I was never going to win. Those are real chefs up there..."

That is loser talk! You are going to return there one day and avenge yourself! You hear me young lady?!

"Dad...?"

Princess S_o_S is offended that he isn't Anura's princess.

He can play it with you as the princess after we've brought Susie up properly.

D:

D':

Poor Susie!

S_o_S wrote:Princess S_o_S is offended that he isn't Anura's princess.

*Wants to be a prince*

Scarab wrote:

S_o_S wrote:Princess S_o_S is offended that he isn't Anura's princess.

*Wants to be a prince*

What, like Utena?

This reminded me of that Osamu Tezuka's manga about a prince/ss and about that old anime about a Princess and a Knight, if said anime isn't the same as Osamu's… *googles it* No wait, they indeed are the same.

Krika wrote:

Scarab wrote:

S_o_S wrote:Princess S_o_S is offended that he isn't Anura's princess.

*Wants to be a prince*

What, like Utena?

Yeah, pretty much exactly like that, only minus the pink hairdo.

Okay. The next festival is a year away, so we can get back to the usual business. As per usual, we talk to the Palace Guard (which I'm not going to bother screencapping at this point) and have our monthly conversation. This time, I'll ask her about her studies...

"Cleaning clothes requires a lot of care and attention."

Really? I wouldn't know anything about that... Anyway, since the Festival's over, you'll have to go back to work.

"Well, as long as it's not back on the farm, I'm fine with it!"

Eheh... heheh... um...

"You're making me go back to the farm, aren't you?"

All you need is some more practice! You'll be good after spending a month at it, I'm sure!

"A month?! Daddy, I am not staying at that horrible place for a month, and you can't make me!!"



Okay, okay. How about this then; three weeks on the farm, then the last ten days of the month all to yourself. Fair?

"It's a deal!"



I think you might have a point, Cube... but she is reaching the age where I need to start making compromises. I hope she does get better, though...

"Sweat on your brow lets you know that you're working hard!"






In the end, a bit of a mixed bag. She worked for 20 days, and only 5 of those days were good in the end. Since you only get paid for good days, she earned 50G overall... Anyway, I have to keep on top of her Stress. Susie needs to blow off some steam, and a good way to do that is to give her some free time.



And give her her earnings, along with some extra from her living funds, to spend. I didn't have to, but it makes the burning off of stress more effective.

"See you later!"

(10 days later...)

"Hi, I'm home! I had lots of fun!"

You've been gone ten days! Do you have any idea how...



Awwwwwww! I can't stay mad at that! Look how happy she is!
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I actually wrote this a couple days ago, but I was hoping to make it a bit bigger before posting it. Oh well.

And it's winter! You know what that means!



It's time to bring out the winter dress! Now that she's wrapped up nice and warm, let's see what she has to say today...

"It seems impossible for a little girl like me to defeat the monsters outside the castle walls."

Well. We'll see about that soon enough, methinks. A little more physical work should be in order...




"Yer gettin' good at this! I'm gonna pay you a bonus!"

Yeah, when you do a full 1/3 month of work without messing up once, your pay is increased by 50%. This is a good way to earn a lot of money while raising stats. Well, raising some of them...

"Well, aint that mighty sweet of you, Mr. Bongor!"

...but lowering others. Her Refinement has hit zero after spending so much time on that farm, so I'm not going to waste time sending her to the palace anytime soon. Except, a mysterious new option has opened up for conversation in Janurary, one with no requirements...

"Hello, miss. Happy new year."
"Happy new year to you, too. What kind of work do you do here at the palace?"
"What? Uh, that is... Oh, you know, I patrol. I look out for anyone suspicious."
"Oh, that must be difficult."
"N-No, not really, it's no big deal."
"You shouldn't talk about your job like that! It's important in any job to give it your all."
"...You're right. It's absolutely as you say."
"I'm sorry. I'm being rude. I was only repeating what my father always tells me."
"You have a good father."



"I had fun today."
"I had fun too. But I have to go home now."
"Susie, I'm only at the castle in January. The next time I can see you is a year from now. Will you promise to come visit me?"
"Yes, I promise. I'll see you next year."

*Susie comes home*

Ah, there you are. How are you doing?

"I feel great today!"

Good! Those clothes are certainly doing their job against that sudden coldsnap, then!



By the way, I'm making a slight change to your schedule this month...



"Remind me: what is that new symbol in the middle?"

Fighting school! You're going to learn some basic techniques, since we can afford that now!

"...I'm not sure how to feel about that... Does this have anything to do with my monster talk earlier?"

Ufufufu... Don't worry about such things. Just pay attention to what Carl Fox has to say.

"A battle is not always fought with swords. The secret to self-defence is learning to deflect a blow at the last possible instant. This is a basic technique which can be applied to any type of unarmed combat."

Wait... Unarmed?




Well I'll be. Well, it raises her combat ability directly rather than a base stat, so it's certainly effective.

"Your combat training is over for now. But don't waver in your dedication."

"My legs hurt..."

That'll get better, honey. Look at your stats now!



"Owie..."
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And thus, our beloved timeline begins her self-defence courses! Watch out, Dryu; she's no longer helpless!

That winter dress looks terrific.

JackAlsworth wrote:That winter dress looks terrific.

It does, doesn't it? Susie, c'mere dear, let your auntie Scarab fix you some hot chocolate.