An Interactive Adventure: Dungeon Master

[narrativedilettante]

Your ring of keys weighs heavily in your hand as you unlock the stone door, as you do every day. When you've stepped into the stairwell, you turn around and lock the door behind you, just as you do every day. It wouldn't do to have a prisoner slip past you and get out, now would it?

Of course, it also wouldn't do to have a prisoner overpower you and steal your keys, but you can't be expected to think of every contingency. You're just the Dungeon Master, not the Dungeon Planner or anything. You didn't get this job for your brains. You got this job for your brute strength, intimidating manner, and loyalty to the crown.

You descend the stairs and arrive on the dungeon floor. There is space here for hundreds of prisoners, but at the moment there are only five. Perhaps the kingdom is currently light on enemies? You don't really know anything about local politics. Or international politics. What you know is dungeons.

You walk past all the prisoners in their cells, checking to make sure they're still alive. They seem to be healthy enough. When you get to the last one, you pause. This guy. He's the most notorious criminal you've ever had to work with.

What was his crime, again?

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Okay, so, inspired by Sophira, I've decided to try something similar! It won't be exactly the same. For instance, here I'm asking for people to suggest crimes as part of the background to the story, rather than suggesting a direct action. I expect that there will be plenty of times for people to suggest actions, it just won't happen every turn.

I intend to choose randomly from the responses, but I reserve the right to just choose one if I really, really like it.

Okay. Feel free to start throwing suggestions out, and I hope this is fun for all of us!

[eli_gone_crazy]

==> Doing handstands illegally in every grocery store of the kingdom.

[RussetDivinity]

Jaywalking

[Blurred_9L]

> Putting a diaper on the king's statue.

[JackAlsworth]

==> Playing obnoxious rap music too loudly late at night.

[Krika]

=> A combination of two other suggested things

[Dryunya]

> Molesting children and talking at theaters.

Let's settle on one style of the "prompt", guys. I suggest the one above, since it looks more like a terminal.

[Victin]

==> Accidentally letting all the prisoners escape from the Dungeon.

[narrativedilettante]

Selecting a response...

[narrativedilettante]

1. Doing handstands illegally in every grocery store of the kingdom.
2. Jaywalking
3. Putting a diaper on the king's statue.
4. Playing obnoxious rap music too loudly late at night.
5. A combination of two other suggested things
6. Molesting children and talking at theaters.
7. Accidentally letting all the prisoners escape from the Dungeon.

The Random Number Generator has chosen 4.

The NERVE of this guy.

You asked him, over and over, almost every night, to keep the music down. And did he? NO! If anything, he seemed to turn it up LOUDER every time you asked him. You couldn't sleep. Your work suffered. You almost let a prisoner escape, when you dropped your keys and didn't notice that they'd landed on a food tray. You were this close to losing your job, and then where would you have been? Dungeon Mastering is all you know. It's not like you could've gotten work on a farm. Farms don't even have dungeons!

Your performance was so bad that the King came to visit you at home one evening. It's not like the King has any particular fondness for you, but good Dungeon Masters are hard to find. He wanted to see if there was anything to be done to fix the one he had instead of buying a whole new Dungeon Master. He's not one of those spendthrift kings who goes out and gets a new Dungeon Master once he's had the last one for over a year.

And of course, when the King arrived at your house, he heard your neighbor playing rap music. And of course, the King HATES rap music. The King threw your neighbor into the dungeon, and immediately banned rap music from his kingdom. As it turns out, your performance at work improved as well, once your obnoxious neighbor became your obnoxious prisoner, but no one really noticed or cared.

"Hey buddy!" Your rap-loving prisoner calls out to you. "Do you think I could get a boom-box to keep in my cell?"

Such a presumptuous request! How do you respond?

[Victin]

==> "If you remember why you're here, you'll remember the king banned boom-boxes as well."

[eli_gone_crazy]

==> "I'll boom your box."

[JackAlsworth]

==> "Sure. I get to choose the radio station."

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

==> "I don't know. Let's find out!"

[Dryunya]

==> "No speak English".

[Krika]

=> Give him some of that taser you're carrying as a reminder to not cross you.

[narrativedilettante]

Selecting...

[narrativedilettante]

1. "If you remember why you're here, you'll remember the king banned boom-boxes as well."
2. "I'll boom your box."
3. "Sure. I get to choose the radio station."
4. "I don't know. Let's find out!"
5. "No speak English".
6. Give him some of that taser you're carrying as a reminder to not cross you.

The Random Number Generator has chosen 5.

"No speak English!" You insist, waving your hands in a bizarre and meaningless pantomime.

"What are you talking about?" Says the prisoner. "You've spoken to me dozens of times. All I'm asking for is a boom-box. You know what that is, don't you?"

"No! No, me no, um, how you say," you stutter in an accent that would probably be offensive if anyone could tell what country you're pretending to be from. "Comprende? No comprende, um, talk." You hold up your hand like a puppet, flapping it open and closed so that the prisoner understands what you mean by the word "talk."

"Dude, just give me a friggin' boom-box!" The prisoner yells, but you're already walking away. Once he can't see you anymore, you sigh and lean against the wall. Why do these prisoners have to be so smart? It's almost like they remember things from day to day. You can't really be expected to keep up with that.

Hey, wait. Look at the wall opposite you. Is that... is that an open cell?

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For this response, feel free to suggest actions and/or observations about the possibly open cell.

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

==> Jump into the open cell and explore.

[Pixelmage]

=> It's just a very good painting on the wall that looks like an open cell.

[eli_gone_crazy]

==> Ruminate on how your life is empty and meaningless, similarly to the empty cell in front of you.

[Victin]

== That's not an open cell, that's a... Freaking hole in the wall!?

[Dryunya]

==> Lock yourself from the inside and throw away the keys.

[narrativedilettante]

Selecting...

[narrativedilettante]

1. Jump into the open cell and explore.
2. It's just a very good painting on the wall that looks like an open cell.
3. Ruminate on how your life is empty and meaningless, similarly to the empty cell in front of you.
4. That's not an open cell, that's a... Freaking hole in the wall!?
5. Lock yourself from the inside and throw away the keys.

The Random Number Generator has selected 2.

From where you're standing, you can very clearly see an open cell door. That's not right! Even when empty, cell doors must be kept closed and locked at all times. It's regulation.

You step forward to investigate, but when you get closer, the cell door looks... wrong. Its perspective doesn't change the way a three-dimensional object would when you move. And no matter how you crane your neck, you can't see into the cell beyond the door. You brush your fingers against the door, and find that it feels exactly like the dungeon wall. It even has little dips in its surface like stone, not like the metal that they make cell doors out of. And then you realize. This isn't a cell door. It's a painting.

The Dungeon Prankster has been here.

You don't like the Dungeon Prankster. The King insists on keeping her around, but all she does is make your job harder. Plus, she really creeps you out. Sometimes you think that maybe the King doesn't really know how to run a dungeon, but you keep your mouth shut. You don't want the King to throw you into the dungeon, after all.

As you deliver meals to the prisoners, you find yourself looking over your shoulder every few seconds, expecting the Dungeon Prankster to be there. She never is. Or at least, you can never see her. She's pretty sneaky, though. You should probably find a place to hide.

What do you do?