An Interactive Adventure: Dungeon Master

[Dryunya]

==> Drink as much as you can as fast as you can.

[narrativedilettante]

Selecting...

[narrativedilettante]

1. Grab a rope and save himself.
2. Activate the Shark Pit draining system
3. Tell him that you cannot escape - leave now and live a good life!
4. Use his hitherto unmentioned telekinesis to levitate you out of the pit.
5. Drink as much as you can as fast as you can.

The Random Number Generator has chosen 4.

"I need you to help get me out of here," you tell Gerald, trying to figure out how to direct him to the drawer where you keep the ropes. "Can you see-"

"I could use my mind powers," Gerald interrupts you.

You gape. "Your what?"

"Mind powers. Like, one of them is telekinesis. It would've been hard when I was concentrating on swimming, but I think I can control it well enough from here. Do you want me to try?"

For a moment you stand still, in shock, unable to form words. Then, to make up for the time you spent staring up at Gerald in disbelief, you start babbling too quickly to be understood. "Yahyoudothasgatethakes." Now it's Gerald's turn to stare at you, uncomprehending. You try again, speaking at a normal pace. "Yes please, do that."

"Okay," says Gerald, "Hang on."

You figure he must have meant 'hang on' in a metaphorical sense, because there's nothing whatsoever for you to grip. The sensation of being lifted into the air is odd, because you can still feel gravity, and there's not a specific place where a force is acting on you... It's more like a gentle pressure is pushing up on every downward-oriented surface of your body. Emotionally speaking, it feels like Gerald is embracing you with the power of his thoughts, and you quite enjoy the process.

Slowly, gracefully, you emerge from the pit and land on the dungeon floor nearby. You stumble a little, and Gerald apologizes, but you manage to regain your balance. "We made it!" You shout as you sweep him up into your arms.

"We did," Gerald agrees. "Now let's get out of here and find some dry clothes. We have much to discuss."

You almost walk straight out of the dungeon, but then you remember the annoying prisoner, who's scheduled for execution any minute now. You can't just leave him there to rot, can you?

Will you leave with Gerald, help your former neighbor, or do some other crazy thing?

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

==> Give the annoying neighbour a boombox to comfort him on your way out with Gerald

[Victin]

Leave with Gerald to do the crazy thing of helping your neighbor.

[RussetDivinity]

Impress Gerald with your sense of duty by saving your crazy neighbor.

[Dryunya]

==> Use your handy map of secret shortcuts, which every self-respecting Dungeon Master should have, to catch up with your annoying neighbor.

[Sophira]

==> Climb up a vent somewhere above the execution chamber, then ask Gerald to use his telekinesis powers to save your neighbour. This way, you don't get caught and your neighbour doesn't sing to you in rap for saving his life!

[narrativedilettante]

Selecting...

[narrativedilettante]

1. Give the annoying neighbour a boombox to comfort him on your way out with Gerald
2. Leave with Gerald to do the crazy thing of helping your neighbor.
3. Impress Gerald with your sense of duty by saving your crazy neighbor.
4. Use your handy map of secret shortcuts, which every self-respecting Dungeon Master should have, to catch up with your annoying neighbor.
5. Climb up a vent somewhere above the execution chamber, then ask Gerald to use his telekinesis powers to save your neighbour. This way, you don't get caught and your neighbour doesn't sing to you in rap for saving his life!

The Random Number Generator has chosen 4.

"Wait," you tell Gerald. "There's something I need to take care of first."

You take your key ring in hand and unlock the cell that belongs to your most hated prisoner. "Don't say anything, just come with-" You stop short as you realize that the cell is empty, aside from a painting in the corner depicting that odious rap fanatic. It's quite a crude painting, not in the sense that it shows any naughty bits but in the sense that it was obviously rushed, lacking key details and definition. The paint glistens in a way that tells you this piece was finished moments ago.

While you were stuck in the Shark Pit, the Dungeon Prankster must have released this prisoner, and painted this effigy of him to taunt you. The prisoner is running free in the dungeon, which may delay his execution, but there are a couple of problems, namely:

1. If the King comes back here to find you've lost the man just before he's about to be executed, you'll be in deep trouble.
2. The guy's likely to get lost and starve down here without any help.

You grab your Dungeon Master's handbook and flip to the map section. "Gerald?" You say, "I want you to stay here where it's safe. Tell the King I'm in pursuit of an escaped prisoner." You kiss him quickly before bounding off into the space between two cells, to reach the thorn in your side before he can get himself into any more trouble.

Within a few minutes, you've got him, deep in the dungeon's corridors.

"Hey man, I was just looking for a little somethin' to pass the time, is all. It's cool- mp!" You cut him off by putting your hand over his mouth.

Congratulations, you have apprehended your prisoner. There's a way out of the castle that won't take too long. You could facilitate his escape and tell him to flee the country. Of course, you'll have to face the King and come up with a lie about how the prisoner escaped.

Or, you could turn him in, and know that you've doomed a man to death for the simple crime of loving rap too much.

What do you do?

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

==> Drop him in the pit you and Gerald recently escaped

[Victin]

==> Realize you've been tricked: that's not your neighbor, that's the Dungeon Prankster, and it's actually her who's holding you.

[RussetDivinity]

Find the King and explain that it was all a humorous misunderstanding. Then offer to throw a pie party to distract him.

[Dryunya]

==> Flip out and bite his head off.

[narrativedilettante]

Selecting...

[narrativedilettante]

1. Drop him in the pit you and Gerald recently escaped
2. Realize you've been tricked: that's not your neighbor, that's the Dungeon Prankster, and it's actually her who's holding you.
3. Find the King and explain that it was all a humorous misunderstanding. Then offer to throw a pie party to distract him.
4. Flip out and bite his head off.

The Random Number Generator has chosen 3.

The way out from this point is easy. There's no need to stick around and show your annoying prisoner how to proceed, so you wave and go back to the main floor of the dungeon. The Executioner is there. So is Gerald. So is the King. The King seems very angry, and Gerald seems to be doing his best to calm him down. Ho boy. You've gotta step in here.

"Excuse me," you say, getting the King's attention. He roars in your direction, and it takes quite a lot of effort not to topple over.

"JUST WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" The King demands to know.

You tell the King that you never intended to have your former neighbor executed, despite seeming to imply so in your previous conversation. That man was, after all, the most notorious criminal in the dungeon, and while he may have been content to sit in a cell and psychologically torture you, the threat of death was impetus enough for him to find a way out. The King follows your logic, but he still seems angry enough that he might just tell the Executioner to practice his trade on you, instead. So you explain that the notorious rap-lover will undoubtedly go into self-exile, since his preferred art form is entirely illegal in this country. The King seems mollified, but only slightly.

To make up for your grave misconduct, you offer to hold a Pie Party the next day.

The King loves that idea. He dismisses the Executioner and goes upstairs, discussing the details of the party with you and Gerald. After a few minutes it becomes clear that the King is happy to handle all of the arrangements for the party himself, and he is already ordering servants to carry out invitations and pie assignments to those invited. You are meant to bring key lime. Gerald is assigned lemon meringue.

The next day you show up, pie in hand, with a clean face and your best Dungeon Master uniform on. Gerald arrives at almost the same time you do, which makes sense because you two planned this in advance. You enter the Pie Hall together. You don't go arm in arm because you need your arms to hold your pies, but you do allow your elbows to bump a little.

Everyone at the party eats entirely two much pie. You and Gerald share what must be dozens of slices, each from a unique variety of pie. (Some of the varieties are a little similar, like the Dutch apple pie and the Granny Smith apple pie, but each one has something about it that's particular to that one dish.)

The two of you dance together, because you've got to do something physical to make up for eating all that pie, but the dancing winds up sort of slow and not very strenuous and more just sort of taking the opportunity to stare into each other's eyes.

The King tracks you down toward the end of the evening, claps you on the back and declares that this was the best idea anyone had ever had. There are crumbs and stains all over the King's front, which is okay because he's royalty and they'll just make him new clothes for tomorrow anyway. No country would be caught dead with their King wearing yesterday's fashion.

"Really, I owe you so much! You deserve to get something back. Anything at all, just name it. I am offering you..." the King pauses dramatically, "A boon." He stares at you as if he's just said something profound.

The King offers boons to most of his employees every other week or so. Last month you had this snazzy uniform made. It's kind of ridiculous, but he likes it and the castle staff all get cool stuff out of it so mostly everyone's happy.

"Okay," you say. "Just let me figure out what I want." You look up at the ceiling, thinking to yourself for a moment.

"I have an idea," says Gerald. "If you can't think of anything, I mean."

Your best idea was to ask for a fancy new doorbell, so you agree to listen to Gerald's suggestion.

What does he say?

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

==>He suggests you ask for a Get Out of Jail Free card

[Krika]

A set of new locks and doors for the Dungeon.

[Dryunya]

==> A restraining order for the Dungeon Prankster.

[Victin]

==> Vacation. For both of us *eyebrow wiggle*

[narrativedilettante]

Selecting...

[narrativedilettante]

1. He suggests you ask for a Get Out of Jail Free card
2. A set of new locks and doors for the Dungeon.
3. A restraining order for the Dungeon Prankster.
4. Vacation. For both of us *eyebrow wiggle*

The Random Number Generator has chosen 3.

"You could get a restraining order to keep the Dungeon Prankster from bothering you," says Gerald.

"A splendid idea!" Declares the King. "Having to practice her tricks while maintaining a distance of 100 feet from you at all times would make for quite a challenge. Why, her skills will be honed so sharply that she'll be sure to take gold at next year's pranking competition! Do you agree to receive this boon?" The King asks you.

"Um." You're not sure you like where the King is going with this, but honestly just getting the Prankster to stay the heck away from you would be something of a relief. "Yes, I accept this boon."

"Wonderful!" Shouts the King. "And now it's sleepy time, so get out of here, you two."

The King shoos you and Gerald out of the Pie Room, and you walk home together. To your home, that is. Gerald doesn't live with you. Yet.

When you reach your front door, something's bugging you. How did Gerald know about the Dungeon Prankster? Her existence is a well-kept secret. You know about her because she antagonizes you, and the King knows about her because he employs her, and Gerald did meet her, probably, but that was when she was being the substitute Dungeon Master and he wouldn't have had any clear way to discern her original job...

Gerald cuts off your train of thought with a kiss. Whatever you were thinking about probably wasn't important anyway.

"I had a lovely time with you tonight,"

...Oh dear. This far along in your story, and we haven't even established your name. Gerald can't just keep calling you "Dungeon Master," not if you're going to be in all sorts of intimate situations like this.

All right then. What is your name?

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

==> You can't remember your own name. You ask Gerald to name you.

[RussetDivinity]

Vesa

[JackAlsworth]

==> Dungeon Master IS your given name (your parents were rather insistent on your future career), but you suggest that Gerald can call you whatever he feels like.