Interactive Adventure: Mad Science!

[Sophira]

==> Past-you really did not appreciate having Ethan dumped on him at the Fondue Fest, especially as he was in the middle of meeting someone who actually seemed not to be scared by the robot suit. So, wanting to take revenge and knowing that you love fondue so much that you wouldn't even think to check it before eating it, he treated some of the fondue to have side-effects before sending it through a space-time rift of his own to you. You're just now starting to feel the effects...

(And I'm picturing that we can decide what those effects are in the next question.)

[RussetDivinity]

Selecting...

[RussetDivinity]

1. Past you was doing you a favor.
2. The cheese is sentient, and it longed for you
3. B-Baka! It's not as though... it's not as though cheese-san wanted to be noticed by senpai anyway. >////<
4. Because sometimes good things just happen to mad people. Thanks Lady Luck!
5. The Eldritch Horrors from The Hopeless Void Beyond Time found your cheese delicious, and want to establish a mutually beneficial relationship.
6. Past-you really did not appreciate having Ethan dumped on him at the Fondue Fest, especially as he was in the middle of meeting someone who actually seemed not to be scared by the robot suit. So, wanting to take revenge and knowing that you love fondue so much that you wouldn't even think to check it before eating it, he treated some of the fondue to have side-effects before sending it through a space-time rift of his own to you. You're just now starting to feel the effects...

Die roll says... 3.

Oops. It looks like the cheese was actually tsundere-cheese. You hope that doesn't mean it was sentient. You've got a strict policy against eating thinking creatures, though you suppose you could amend it to make an exception for really delicious ones, like fondue. Quite honestly, even if there was a fondue out there that could end all of life's problems, you'd still eat it, since you love fondue so much.

But... wait a minute. The message from the cheese doesn't appear to be sent from the past. It's sent from the present, or at least a form of the past that you can reach. Perhaps you could communicate with the cheese. At the very least, you could apologize for eating it, even though you're fairly sure the whole point of cheese is to be eaten. Maybe it wanted to be eaten, which was why it came to you. It knew that you liked cheese fondue, and apparently had a great respect for you. After all, if you're reading the message correctly, it was blushing.

You look over the screen on your Multiverse Communications Array and see that there is an option to reply to the message. You're not sure if the option is just a formality or if the cheese will actually be able to see it (no matter how many laws of physics that breaks, but then, when have you cared about those?), but you type in I'm sorry I ate you. You were delicious. After that, there's nothing to do but wait for a reply. And take a nap. A nap might be good.

When you wake up, there's another message on your screen. It's from the cheese. What it he (she? it? you're not sure if cheese does genders) say?

[narrativedilettante]

=> It's an animated emoji of a bowing geisha.

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

==>"Come with me if you want to live."

[Dryunya]

==> "I guess if it's you, it's okay."

Am I shipping a mad scientist with tsundere cheese?

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

Am I shipping a mad scientist with tsundere cheese?

(Dryu that needs to be your new signature)

[Dryunya]

I actually thought the same, but I don't like changing things, so maybe later.

[JackAlsworth]

==> "'It' works fine, but thank you for asking. (...Baka)"

[RussetDivinity]

Selecting...

[RussetDivinity]

1. It's an animated emoji of a bowing geisha.
2. "Come with me if you want to live."
3. "I guess if it's you, it's okay."
4. "'It' works fine, but thank you for asking. (...Baka)"

Random number generator says... 1.

Well, that's cute. You think. You're not sure whether to take it as cute or flirty or maybe both. You've never flirted with a cheese before; in fact, the last time you flirted was with a fellow mad scientist. The two of you exchanged letters laced with explosives, sent flowers with poisonous fumes, and one of you lasered a heart onto the moon in a night of drunken passion. You still don't remember which of you did that.

You respond to the cheese's message by typing, I'm glad you weren't offended. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you. Your gift was much appreciated, and I could always use a friend who can play with space-time rifts. After a moment's hesitation, you add a winking face and send the message.

You're not nearly tired enough to sleep, so you head to the labs to see what's going on. Maddie's doing maintenance on the robot, and she tells you that it will be ready to take out in a few hours if you're interested in a stroll. Jenna's still trying to establish communications with aliens who aren't automatically terrified by their knowledge of humans; apparently, the fact that the whole race hasn't destroyed itself already is rather disturbing to the galaxy at large, and the only reason they don't want to take us out preemptively is because they really enjoy the late-night talk shows that get broadcast. Daniel, meanwhile, is busy training Ethan's replacement, a bright-eyed young woman with glasses and a bandaged hand.

There isn't all that much for you to do today. There are no projects that need your direct supervision, and you haven't been struck by any sparks of inspiration, so even if you tried to get started on something, your heart wouldn't really be in it. You sigh, and your thoughts turn back to that mad scientist you wooed, all those years ago.

Who was that scientist, and what happened between the two of you?

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

==>The scientist was actually the genderflipped clone you engineered from Ethan, and she was turned into a chest of drawers in the course of a tragic boating accident.

[JackAlsworth]

==> The scientist was from a rival lab; your star-crossed, passionate affair was cut short when she and her lab accidentally removed itself from the time stream.

==>The scientist was actually the genderflipped clone you engineered from Ethan, and she was turned into a chest of drawers in the course of a tragic boating accident.

"Look at the chest on THAT--" (is shot)

[agoraoptera]

The scientist was you. Both of you had reached out across the space between worlds (and maybe universes) and decided to start a morally-questionable-yet-not-quite-objectionable relationship rooted in passionate physics-breaking and pseudo-narcissism. Eventually, space-time decided to stop being a voyeur, and somehow broke your physics-breaking machines. You haven't decided to fix it yet, because you're wondering if maybe you were a bit too clingy...

[Krika]

It was Kayak-Girl, who was going through a rebellious phase and going against her uncle's wishes (her uncle being Kayak-Man).

[narrativedilettante]

=> The scientist was your arch-rival. Eventually you realized that the reason you couldn't stand each other was that you were so similar. Later still you realized that being so similar, you still couldn't stand each other.

[Victin]

==> She was an old colleague from the academy. You happened to meet her again one day, years after graduation, when both of you were trying to cut in line at a coffee shop. Having froze the left side of your body, she agreed to pay your coffee. She had lost weight. You then wondered if you should have said that out loud, but she simply thanked you. She explained she started to really lose weight after she tried to destroy the academy. You asked if she had been the one behind the hydra or the one behind turning all the vegetables into candy, those were your favorites. She said she was the one behind the hydra, that she hadn't some sort of crazy fixation with her weight to try and have an ironic vengeance about it. Taking it as a cue, you mention you wanted to try to destroy the academy someday, but that you never really figured out what to do.

The conversation went on. You managed to disguise your fixed staring at the green lock of hair that covered one of her eyes as result of being partially frozen. Ahh, that green lock of mutant hair, result of a lab accident... You were never quite sure if you stared at it because it was weird and freaky or because it was what made her unique and beautiful, but it surely made her stand out back at the academy. By the time she left, you were still partially frozen, wet and cold, but you had told her you would be okay by yourself, so you'd have to figure out a way to leave before the cops could arrive. You're pretty sure you succeeded, because you remember then enjoying a beautiful afternoon in the park. It was the beginning of spring, the cherry flowers were blooming and the Winter-Wrath had been slain for another year. Or maybe that was just a dream you had while in jail, you can't really remember.

[RussetDivinity]

Selecting...

[RussetDivinity]

1. The scientist was actually the genderflipped clone you engineered from Ethan, and she was turned into a chest of drawers in the course of a tragic boating accident.
2. The scientist was from a rival lab; your star-crossed, passionate affair was cut short when she and her lab accidentally removed itself from the time stream.
3. The scientist was you. Both of you had reached out across the space between worlds (and maybe universes) and decided to start a morally-questionable-yet-not-quite-objectionable relationship rooted in passionate physics-breaking and pseudo-narcissism. Eventually, space-time decided to stop being a voyeur, and somehow broke your physics-breaking machines. You haven't decided to fix it yet, because you're wondering if maybe you were a bit too clingy...
4. It was Kayak-Girl, who was going through a rebellious phase and going against her uncle's wishes (her uncle being Kayak-Man).
5. The scientist was your arch-rival. Eventually you realized that the reason you couldn't stand each other was that you were so similar. Later still you realized that being so similar, you still couldn't stand each other.
6. She was an old colleague from the academy. You happened to meet her again one day, years after graduation, when both of you were trying to cut in line at a coffee shop. Having froze the left side of your body, she agreed to pay your coffee. She had lost weight. You then wondered if you should have said that out loud, but she simply thanked you. She explained she started to really lose weight after she tried to destroy the academy. You asked if she had been the one behind the hydra or the one behind turning all the vegetables into candy, those were your favorites. She said she was the one behind the hydra, that she hadn't some sort of crazy fixation with her weight to try and have an ironic vengeance about it. Taking it as a cue, you mention you wanted to try to destroy the academy someday, but that you never really figured out what to do.

The conversation went on. You managed to disguise your fixed staring at the green lock of hair that covered one of her eyes as result of being partially frozen. Ahh, that green lock of mutant hair, result of a lab accident... You were never quite sure if you stared at it because it was weird and freaky or because it was what made her unique and beautiful, but it surely made her stand out back at the academy. By the time she left, you were still partially frozen, wet and cold, but you had told her you would be okay by yourself, so you'd have to figure out a way to leave before the cops could arrive. You're pretty sure you succeeded, because you remember then enjoying a beautiful afternoon in the park. It was the beginning of spring, the cherry flowers were blooming and the Winter-Wrath had been slain for another year. Or maybe that was just a dream you had while in jail, you can't really remember.

Die roll says... 6.

You still have a small scar from where her ice machine nicked your skin. You deliberately asked not to have the scar heal over, because at the time you were sure she was your one true love. After all, anyone who would wreak havoc with a hydra had to be the one. Now, you're not so sure, but you have very fond memories of her.

With a sigh of regret, you pick up a newspaper and flick through it. Your minions leave them lying around for anyone who hasn't gotten to the comics yet or who needs a crossword break, but you're interested in the news. You skim the headlines, looking for something -- anything -- to spark your interest and get you out of this vague melancholy. Who knew a flirty cheese could put you in such a mood?

There isn't anything particularly special happening. There are the usual tensions in various areas around the globe, the government is still being annoying, and the Tour de France was delayed because all the roads were inexplicably covered in snakes. You're about to skip to the crossword when a small article catches your eye. It turns out your academy has made news for being the first ever school to offer a scholarship for students who have attempted to break reality. You read the article twice, a smile spreading over your face. You had been rather busy running around and wreaking general havoc, and you completely forgot about your plan to destroy the academy. Perhaps you can catch the eye of that green-eyed girl. Seeds of an idea start spinning in your head, and you're pretty sure spinning seeds makes a more scientific plant.

What are you going to do with your alma mater?

[narrativedilettante]

Transform it into a rainforest.

[Krika]

=> Teleport it into the ocean. That'll show Kayak-Man!

[Dryunya]

==> Turn the city into a giant robogolem, and use the academy to form the head.

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

==> Turn it into a sandwich and use it to feed the homeless!

[Victin]

==> Take over it and become the Headmaster!

[AMimsyBorogove]

Create an elaborate scheme to disguise your newest minion - Ethan's replacement - as a new student to slip her inside the academy and then manipulate her fellow students into trying to break reality for the scholarship using a specific failed design of your own that will in fact simply open a portal to the conceptual plane within which dwells the ruler of all bees, who shall rise forth from within her honey-and-hexagon-filled kingdom in the void to smite the academy in its entirety. If you succeed, then you destroy the academy. If you fail, then nobody can trace it back to you, you yourself can blame it on your minion, and if your minion couldn't accomplish such a simple task, she wasn't worth hiring in the first place, and you've just saved yourself a great deal of time training her only to regret it later.