by Qara-Xuan Zenith on Mon Oct 21, 2013 1:41 pm
Timelime note: the following night
Anji hesitated outside Ben's room once more, hand hovering over the door handle. Wincing, she shook her head sadly and turned to leave.
Before she could go, the door was wrenched open. Kevin let his sword fall back into its hidden sheath when he saw her there, and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry,” he said. “Light sleeper.” His eyes wandered over to the figure on the bed, sleeping fingers spasming irregularly and grasping at the air, before he ushered Anji in.
“I- I don’t want to interrupt, really. This can wait until sometime less… awkward.” Anji said, turning to leave.
“You’re not interrupting anything,” he murmured. “If you can stand the interruptions when her dreams get worse, then please, I can use the company.”
Anji gulped, then nodded slightly. Finding a chair, she spent a few minutes opening and closing her mouth, forming words that never came. Sighing softly, she blurted, “Who are you?”
He grinned, and reached out to tousle her hair a little. “I’m the same Kevin I’ve been all this time. Haven’t changed since I met you.” He paused. “Or was that not what you were asking?”
Anji frowned slightly. “I mean, I know you’re you. But… Where did you come from? Did you know your mom and dad? Why did you come to this castle?” She paused for another few moments, teasing the carpet with her foot. “I know it’s a little stupid, but… I’ve been moping and whining for weeks now about myself… I wanted to know about you, is all.”
“It’s not stupid,” he disagreed. “I… I come from a kingdom called Orono. I was an only child, which probably means I spent more time with my parents than most might.”
“Orono is a pretty name for a country.” Anji grinned. “What’s it like there?”
“It’s nice.” His voice had a note of pride to it, as though he were responsible for the land he bragged about. “Very mountainous in the east… the views are unparallelled. I’m more familiar with the cities, of course… and the sea, on the south, with its ups and downs. The beauty and the devastation. Trade, and also regular raiders making things a good deal less calm than our neighbours.”
Anji nodded and asked politely, green eyes glancing up to meet his shyly. “What did you do in Orono? Why’d you come here?”
Kevin coughed, embarrassed. “Like every man over a certain age there, I’ve been a soldier… But mostly I did whatever my father needed me to do.” His eyes roved distractedly around the room, not looking at his friend’s face. “My father is the King.”
Anji smirked for a minute, eyes boring into the back of Kevin’s head. The man refused to meet her gaze, instead letting his eyes roam around the room, looking at every object in sight. After several moments, the mirth left Anji’s smile, and she asked, “Seriously?”
“Well, it’s what he claims,” he answered absently, “and since Mother is the Queen, I’m not inclined to doubt him on it.” He still wouldn’t meet her eyes.
Anji grew more serious, mouth set in a serious line. “You don’t act like a lot of the nobility I’ve had the misfortune to meet.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said. The words came automatically, though they were sincere. He looked at her, then, searching her face for he didn’t know what. “I’ve long ago decided that I’d rather aim to be noble than nobility. There’s more substance to it.”
“So--” Anji glanced away, bruise purpling as she winced-- “Why are you following me of all people? I mean, you’re a Prince, you could… should be leading your own guild.”
Kevin swallowed down his distaste, attempting to answer with a neutral voice. “Should nothing. You’re a leader worth following.”
Anji raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.
After a moment, he forced himself to meet her eyes. “I’m not here to look for… subjects or something, Anjali. I’m not interested in being a leader here. Just in doing what’s right.”
Anji glared at him for another moment and then broke eye contact, "I'm glad you like Storm... We're lucky to have you."
Kevin shrugged and said nothing.
Anji stood, sad grin playing on her features as she turned to leave, "Thanks for answering my questions, your majesty."
Kevin stood, angry and hurt. “Stop it.”
Anji halted by the door, hand on the handle. "Stop what?" She paused, face twisting into a grimace as she mimicked, "Show respect to your betters, scum."
Kevin visibly cringed at her words. Ben let out a strangled cry, head jerking erratically from side to side. Kevin went to her, applying the wetted cloth to her neck and forehead, as he responded to Anji, pain in his voice. “Please, Anjali. Please stop with the titles, the… this wall you’re building between us. I’m not like that. God, I thought you’d have seen by now I’m not like that. I’m your friend, Anjali. I work for you.”
Tears shone in Anji's eyes as she nodded, once, fingers drifting unconsciously to a knotted scar that ran down the side of her arm. "I'm sorry, Kevin." She stepped forward, wincing as she sat back down into the chair, "I'm- I'm here. I'm listening."
Ben’s sleep quieted, and Kevin drifted back to where Anji sat. “Thank you,” he said, softly.
Anji shrugged, hands shaking. "You're my friend, I need to get over myself at some point." She looked him in the eye, adding, "I'm sorry for not trusting you."
He shook his head. “You have every right.”
"Any other secrets bothering you?" Anji grinned. "You can ask me a question. Fair is fair."
Kevin sighed, a reluctant smile playing on his lips. “You can tell me what you’re comfortable telling, Anjali. It’s not my job to push you.”
"Ah, come on. You even have a free pass!"
He smiled thinly. “And yet I don’t have anything to ask.”
"You are terrible at this game." Anji smirked, eyes dancing.
Kevin sat back. “All right, then, fearless leader. Tell me what I should ask.”
"Now you're cheating." Anji giggled.
His eyes twinkled. “Maybe that’s my question.”
Anji stopped talking, rubbing an arm self-consciously while smiling at Kevin.Www He thought he saw her cheeks tinge pink before she looked away, staring out the window, deep in thought.
“I don’t have to ask you anything,” he said again. “I…” he bit his lip, torn between honesty and fear of upsetting her. “I know a bit.”
Anji grimaced and sought out his eyes, her own fearful. “I’m not like that anymore.” she said, voice wavering.
“I know you, Anjali,” Kevin said, gently.
“I feel sorry for that.” Anji laughed bitterly.
He met her eyes, his face open and surprised. “I’m not.”
Anji bloomed deep scarlet, hiding her face behind her knees. “Uhuh.. I’m sure you are.” Her voice was sarcastic, but hope seemed to crack through it anyway.
“I know you, Anjali,” he repeated. “I see you. You’re a good person. I’m… It’s an honour to be your friend.”
Anji peeked out from behind her knees, “I’m just… me. No honour to be had.” She grinned, “That’s the benefit of being a thief, anyway.”
He grinned back at her. “Then in the spirit of my friend the thief, I’ll steal the honour anyhow.”
Anji curled up in the armchair, suddenly feeling very small. She hid her face in her knees, refusing to speak for several minutes. Kevin relaxed into the armchair, sleep tugging at him persistently.
“Thanks... For staying my friend.” A small voice wavered from the chair next to Kevin.
He looked up at her, expression soft. Before he could respond, a small, scared sound arose from the bed. “Don’t-- don’t--” Ben interrupted herself with a short scream, as she thrashed about wildly.
Kevin knelt by her side, gentle hands holding her back from hurting herself in her sleep, trying to soothe or at least calm.
He felt a hand tap his shoulder. Turning, he saw a hand holding a dampened washrag towards him.
“Thank you.” He accepted the cloth gratefully, fingers brushing against hers briefly as he took it from her to lay on Ben’s neck.
Anji said nothing, and returned to the chair quietly, curling up into a ball. She stared at Ben and Kevin, trying to blend in with the upholstery. Several more minutes passed, and Ben’s cries softened into quiet sighs. “Does Ben know?”
He sighed softly, eyes still on the struggling woman. “When I first met Ben… My mother had separated me from the woman I thought I loved, and given me strict orders to marry for the benefit of Orono, and soon. So I found Ben, and… we’re friends.” He sounded defensive. “Neither of us has the freedom to marry for love, and… we understand each other. Work well together. We’re luckier than many.”
Anji grimaced. Her eyebrows knitted together, and she seemed to come to some sort of a resolution. She spoke softly, enunciating every word, face solemn. “I’m sorry if my past actions disappointed you. I value you and Ben. Right now you’re the closest things to friends that I have. I’m not perfect, I don’t think that I want to be either. But, I am myself, finally.”
Kevin stood stock still for a moment; then he crossed back to the chair where Anji sat, and gathered her up in his arms the way he often had weeks before. “I’m glad of that,” he told her. “I like being your friend, Anjali Torvan.”
Anji relaxed for a moment, then hugged Kevin tightly. Taking a deep breath, she pushed away to meet Kevin’s eyes.
The man looked worn. Deep purple bags pooled underneath bloodshot eyes. Stubble had given way to the first wisps of a new beard, and his arms shook slightly under the weight of the small scout. Small worry lines were beginning to form around his forehead, and his shoulders bent underneath the weights placed on them.
“Kevin. I want you to do a favor for me. Can I get you to do that?” Anji smiled softly, trying to appear warm and encouraging.
“Anything you want,” he answered.
“I want you to get cleaned up, then I want you to get to your room, and get some real sleep.” Anji said softly, not breaking eye contact with the larger man.
He glanced over to where Ben slept peacefully, for now. “I can’t do that,” he said, his voice breaking.
“It’ll be fine.” Anji called his attention back. “I’ll be here. I can help take care of Ben. You need rest too.”
He opened his mouth to say I can’t ask that of you, but stopped himself in time. She wasn’t a scared little girl for him to take care of. He watched her for a moment… she needed this as much as he did. And this was Nova. He trusted her with Ben. Slowly, carefully, he set her back down on the chair. “Thank you, Anjali. I’ll… I’ll come if you need me.”
-------------
Anji settled into the armchair once more, after sending Kevin on his way and locking the somewhat flimsy door. She had quietly rearranged the space as much as she could, facing the chair to the door and window, as well as putting it as close to Ben as she had dared. She sat quietly for several minutes; the only noises in the quiet room were the sounds of Ben sleeping, and the soft oily sound of the cloth on one of Anji’s favourite knives.
After about an hour of peace, Anji felt sleep trying to weigh her limbs down. Shaking her head in one quick motion, she stood quietly, and padded outside to the balcony, breathing in the scent of the city. The trees were beginning to turn colour, and a slight chill teased the air.
The night was split by Ben’s soft whimper. “Please,” she cried, voice thick with terror and tears, as she unconsciously curled her healing body into a protective ball. Anji moved quickly and silently to the battered knight, whispering words of encouragement along with a cool cloth to ease the fever that burned through her.
“Hey, it’s all right. No worries. He’s not here.” Anji searched her brain for any encouragement that she could think of, “You beat him Ben… He can’t hurt anyone anymore.”
Ben’s hazel eyes stared ahead, glassy and unseeing. “You won’t touch her,” she muttered, and shuddered violently. “You won’t.”
“That’s right, Ben. He didn’t. You stopped him.” Anji said, sliding down the side of the bed, playing with the cloth. “He won’t hurt anyone now, and it’s all thanks to you, Ben.”
Anji sat with Ben until the nightmare subsided, whispering soft encouragements to Ben until her voice grew hoarse from the effort. By the time Ben had fallen into a more restful sleep, grey light shone through the open balcony doors. Stretching, Anji walked over to the doors, closing them silently from the fresh day in order to let Ben rest.
Finally released from the grip of her dreams, Ben woke, lifting her head and shoulders in a deliberate motion before blinking her eyes open. Dragging the covers aside, she swung her feet over the edge of the bed. She stood, putting her weight on the right foot, and carefully set her left foot down beside it, before sighing, and sitting back down, knowing that she shouldn’t push herself, frustrated that she couldn’t do more. Only then did she notice that she wasn’t alone in the room. “Oh! Anjali. I’m sorry. Did Kevin take your bed? I could move…” She eyed the path to the armchair, standing a little unsteadily. She wanted to walk it. She could, provided she didn’t pass out again first.
“Uh, I don’t think you should be doing that.” Anji said queasily, moving quickly to steady Ben, “I sort of locked Kevin out until he got a decent night’s sleep. I hope that’s okay.”
Ben nodded absently. “He should rest more.” A thought struck her, and redness began creeping up her neck. “How long have you been here?”
“Not that long. I just sat in here to help make Kevin feel better about leaving you.” Anji said calmly, easing Ben back down towards the bed. “If you’d rather me leave, I can.”
Ben flushed darkly, memories of pain and fear, fresh from that night’s sleep rather than from weeks before, ringing in her head. “Please forgive me if I said anything to upset you in my sleep. You know how strange dreams can be, I’m sure.”
“Eh, don’t worry about it.” Anji said, settling next to Ben, holding a glass of water like an offering. “It doesn’t bother me. I still have nightmares at times.”
Ben accepted the water and swigged it down. “You hold yourself together remarkably well.”
“It wasn’t easy.” Anji said softly. “I had this… friend. A long time ago. His name was Charlie. Charlie had the nightmares sometimes too.” Anji grinned softly. “He used to never sleep, go do crazy things just for the laughs. Once, I asked him about the nightmares, and he told me that they were a warning of what he’s capable of, and that he'd never let anyone else scare him like that again."
Ben thought of her own Charlie who had been tormented by memories. And Charlie had had Jennifer, who loved him, by his side, to pull him through the worst of it. She pushed the thoughts of guilt, for feeling pain about something less than what he had suffered, from her mind. She tried and failed to laugh. “If those dreams are what I’m capable of, I wouldn’t put much faith in my abilities.”
"One of my recurring nightmares is being stuck in a cage." Anji said seriously, green eyes staring at Ben's. "Where I'm from, kids like me aren't human. If I ever got caught..." Anji stopped herself, panting hard.
Ben’s hands twitched, weak fingers trying to form themselves into fists. “That’s sick,” she said, angry. She looked away. “And that’s something real. Something to be afraid of.”
"There are cages in every shape, Ben." Anji said, smiling reassuringly. "Just because the prison isn't made out of bars means nothing.
"I'm here for you, if you need to talk or anything." She smiled. "I've got some brains too, you know."
Ben shivered lightly. “I’m not-- That isn’t me.” She said it stubbornly, as though she simply had to convince the world to see things her way. “I’m not a, a victim, somebody who needs to be… rescued. I can’t… It’s not me.” It was easier, she knew, to futilely assert her wishful thinking than to consider Anjali’s words, to think about the cage that her own mind had built around her.
"You're only a victim if you let your demons own you." Anji said softly. "Ben, I'm not innocent. I'm not naive. I used to be someone's demon. I could be a monster, or I can try to make my demon become my angel."
Ben sat quietly, fidgeting with the glass in her hand before she put it down. She laid her head back on the bed, feeling suddenly very tired. Staring up at nothing in particular on the ceiling, she asked, in a quiet voice that cracked raw, “Why?
“Why are you helping me? Why did you… protect me?”
"Once, a long time ago, I was responsible for the torture and death of my family." The words fell like stones.
"I wasn't strong enough to do the right thing, and they paid the price." Anji trembled slightly, voice hoarse from the strain. She refused to meet Ben's eyes.
"I am never letting another friend fall because I couldn't be bothered to help them up." Anji felt her shoulders slump slightly, and she stared silently at the floor for several minutes.
“I should thank you.” Ben breathed the words like a verbal sigh. She grimaced. “It’s harder than I thought.”
Anji glanced over at Ben, head tilted quizzically.
She shook her head slowly. “Needing help.” She folded and unfolded the fingers of her left hand, getting some feel into the unused bones, before reaching out with them to take the other girl’s hand. “Thank you. For everything.”
“I’m not doing anything Kevin wouldn’t do.” Anji said, collecting herself.
“Yeah, but Kevin has an excuse. Got to protect his investments and all that,” she mumbled. “Whereas you’re being…” She was going to say “kind,” but at the last second changed it to “...you.”
Anji grinned half-heartedly. Taking a deep breath, she stood, crossing the room in a few quick strides and opened the balcony doors once more to let the fresh air in. “You need me to get you anything? I can smell food, and I know I'm pretty damn starving.”
Lead by example. Get lost in a swamp.
AS DICTATED TO INSTANTIATION 17-01-18-01.