Steal the Apple!!

[eli_gone_crazy]

I curse loudly, because I can't fly.
Someone kill me. ._.

well if you insist.
*uses carbolic acid to kill dryu*

[S_o_S]

I curse loudly, because I can't fly.
Someone kill me. ._.

well if you insist.
*uses carbolic acid to kill dryu*

Step 4 complete.

[AMimsyBorogove]

GET! OFF! MY! ZEPPELIN!

*Fires Zeppelin Lasers - Zeppelasers? - from defensive turret emplacements across the surface of the space-zeppelin, at the same time activating a defensive shielding system to keep the ship from exploding. This knocks Isla from the Zeppelin, allowing me to fire with impunity, releasing a wave-motion-gun blast at her while firing a second cannonade from the Zeppelin.*

[IslaKariese]

*summons Windows to attack "Steve Jobs" AKA IslaKariese*

*blinks in curiosity, goes meta to click link, gets stuck in a Wiki Walk* NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! I didn't wanna know about Taft and wet t-shirt contests!

[Victin]

GET! OFF! MY! ZEPPELIN!

*Fires Zeppelin Lasers - Zeppelasers? - from defensive turret emplacements across the surface of the space-zeppelin, at the same time activating a defensive shielding system to keep the ship from exploding. This knocks Isla from the Zeppelin, allowing me to fire with impunity, releasing a wave-motion-gun blast at her while firing a second cannonade from the Zeppelin.*

So, Boss, what do I do?

[AMimsyBorogove]

Hmm, continue linking Isla to random things. Wiki walks seem to be her weakness!

[Dryunya]

*attempts to kill Dryu using nothing at all*

I assume the first thing as canon. >_<

I die, being attacked by nothing at all.

I respawn as an apple pie immune to NOTHING AT ALL. How the hell does that even work.
I, however, retain my evolved mouth, and now, choosing between legs and wings, I choose...

Ultimate breathing apparatus.

Why, do you ask?
I inhale air with tremendous efficiency, propelling myself towards the zeppelin. Having reached the zeppelin, I put my lips together and blow, cutting its hull with a jet of super-compressed air.

The zeppelin crashes, and the apple rolls away. I take it.

[IslaKariese]

Hmm, continue linking Isla to random things. Wiki walks seem to be her weakness!

*clicks on the link to Superguns with a wicked grin, and uses tech savvyness to make it fly*

[Victin]

Hmm, continue linking Isla to random things. Wiki walks seem to be her weakness!

Okay then.

[Dryunya]

I engulf the apple. Whoever wants it must go through me.

I don't eat it, though. That's cannibalism.

[AMimsyBorogove]

You kinda forgot about the shielding system, Dryu.

^^

*Shields deflect Dryu's hyper pie breath, and he bounces harmlessly off the hull. I reclaim my apple.*

And you also forgot about the fact that we're in space since I destroyed the planet, for that matter. Twice. Anyway, point is, there's no air to breathe, so that wouldn't even work anyway.

[Victin]

You kinda forgot about the shielding system, Dryu.

^^

*Shields deflect Dryu's hyper pie breath, and he bounces harmlessly off the hull. I reclaim my apple.*

And you also forgot about the fact that we're in space since I destroyed the planet, for that matter. Twice. Anyway, point is, there's no air to breathe, so that wouldn't even work anyway.

What is my level at your army, Boss? Second-in-command, after you?

[AMimsyBorogove]

The Dragon, obviously.

[Dryunya]

You kinda forgot about the shielding system, Dryu.

*Shields deflect Dryu's hyper pie breath, and he bounces harmlessly off the hull. I reclaim my apple.*

And you also forgot about the fact that we're in space since I destroyed the planet, for that matter. Twice. Anyway, point is, there's no air to breathe, so that wouldn't even work anyway.

There is some thin atmosphere anyway. The pressure I applied would be enough to get all the air I need.

Having been deflected, I drift into space, screaming obscenities. I can't blow myself back, because I have no steering system.

[Victin]

The Dragon, obviously.

I hope I'm not the Starscream...

[AMimsyBorogove]

...

*Fires a Zepplin-laser at Dryu.*

Looks like the pie just got burnt.

[IslaKariese]

*ends up clicking again* I didn't know Homestuck had a tarot deck... *click. click.*

[eli_gone_crazy]

You kinda forgot about the shielding system, Dryu.

*Shields deflect Dryu's hyper pie breath, and he bounces harmlessly off the hull. I reclaim my apple.*

And you also forgot about the fact that we're in space since I destroyed the planet, for that matter. Twice. Anyway, point is, there's no air to breathe, so that wouldn't even work anyway.

There is some thin atmosphere anyway. The pressure I applied would be enough to get all the air I need.

Having been deflected, I drift into space, screaming obscenities. I can't blow myself back, because I have no steering system.

Dryu, you remind me of Kirby in your present state.

[The Wild West Pyro]

( RISES AS A MASSIVE VERSION OF HIMSELF ON FIRE.)

DIEEEEEEEEEEEE!

( Soon EVERYTHING is burning.)

( Quixote reappears and fights everyone.)

And now-

EATS THE APPLE, SWALLOWS IT, DIGESTS IT, POOPS IT OUT IN TOILET 3 DAYS LATER, IT ENDS UP IN THE SEWER.

[eli_gone_crazy]

( RISES AS A MASSIVE VERSION OF HIMSELF ON FIRE.)

DIEEEEEEEEEEEE!

( Soon EVERYTHING is burning.)

( Quixote reappears and fights everyone.)

And now-

EATS THE APPLE, SWALLOWS IT, DIGESTS IT, POOPS IT OUT IN TOILET 3 DAYS LATER, IT ENDS UP IN THE SEWER.

*sits in the lab*

3...2...1...
*Pyro explodes spectacularly*

*The Apple reappears on the topmost branch of The Tree*

[Victin]

Boss, I just found out that the Apple is atop the Tree. What are your orders?

[Dryunya]

I have come up with an ingenious plan.

I inhale air under pressure, more and more, until I explode.

I now respawn as an apple pie immune to explosions. I also evolve a tentacle.
Having respawned after a Tree (because I kinda assume it's our starting point), I take the apple with my newly-evolved tentacle and (this time totally!) engulf it.

- Come at me bros!

[AMimsyBorogove]

...

Firstly, I'm sorry, Pyro, but your flames are ineffective against my powers of the Evil Phoenix. And my Space Zeppelin.

*Shielding absorbs Pyro's mass fire attack, converting it directly into power for me as I stand atop the tip of my Space Zeppelin, take aim, and fire downward at Pie-Dryu, releasing a precise shot that pierces through his center, striking the apple at his core and blasting it clean through the other side of him, then out through the ground and into space. The Space Zeppelin activates a tractor beam, and begins to bring the apple on board.*

[Dryunya]

I respawn as an apple pie immune to:

1. Explosions
2. Precise shots

Having:

1. A mouth
2. An ultimate breathing apparatus
3. 3 tentacles

I slam the tentacles into the ground, flying up into the air, and chomp the apple out of the tractor beam. I then rotate myself in the air (I can now steer with the tentacles =P) and air-shoot the apple into the ground, making a 100 m deep crater, then land on top of it and cover it with my body. And then I crawl with one of my tentacles inside the crater to devour the apple with it.

[AMimsyBorogove]

...

You didn't mention Zeppelin lasers.

*Barrages Dryu with Zeppelin lasers. From a Zeppelin. IN SPACE. Blasting him aside, proceeds to tractor beam the apple back up to the Zeppelin once more.*

(At this point, I'm just farming Dryu's adaptive/upgrade/ZenPIE system. XD)