Watch the Footage

EAT MY STEAMPUNK GENIUS, BEOTCHES.

( Proceeds to attack them with the cannon from Jules Verne's novel, From the Earth to the Moon.)

EAT THE CYLINDRO CONICAL PROJECTILES!

( Spectacular Explosions)

Start transmission.

WHY WOULD YOU ALL DO THIS

End transmission.

Edit: Also, how did so many pages appear in ONE day .-.

I AM ACTUALLY EATING AN APPLE RIGHT NOW



MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

YOUR ATTEMPTS ARE ALL FUTILE.

The apple was merely a decoy. I AM EATING THE REAL ONE, AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO. I AM IN HONG KONG AND NONE OF YOU ARE IN THERE AT THE MOMENT.

._.

I got nothin'.

The Wild West Pyro wrote:I AM ACTUALLY EATING AN APPLE RIGHT NOW

Photo on 2013-01-13 at 19.59.jpg

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

YOUR ATTEMPTS ARE ALL FUTILE.

The apple was merely a decoy. I AM EATING THE REAL ONE, AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO. I AM IN HONG KONG AND NONE OF YOU ARE IN THERE AT THE MOMENT.

*still in the lab*

actually, the real Apple will be respawning in 3...2...1...

*Apple pops into existence at the base of The Tree*

Oh, and also. You may or may not cease to exist soon. So... I'd say your goodbyes.

eli_gone_crazy wrote:

The Wild West Pyro wrote:I AM ACTUALLY EATING AN APPLE RIGHT NOW

Photo on 2013-01-13 at 19.59.jpg

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

YOUR ATTEMPTS ARE ALL FUTILE.

The apple was merely a decoy. I AM EATING THE REAL ONE, AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO. I AM IN HONG KONG AND NONE OF YOU ARE IN THERE AT THE MOMENT.

*still in the lab*

actually, the real Apple will be respawning in 3...2...1...

*Apple pops into existence at the base of The Tree*

Oh, and also. You may or may not cease to exist soon. So... I'd say your goodbyes.

( BLOWS UP THE TREE)

( TURNS INTO THE INVISIBLE MAN)

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

The Wild West Pyro wrote:

eli_gone_crazy wrote:

The Wild West Pyro wrote:I AM ACTUALLY EATING AN APPLE RIGHT NOW

Photo on 2013-01-13 at 19.59.jpg

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

YOUR ATTEMPTS ARE ALL FUTILE.

The apple was merely a decoy. I AM EATING THE REAL ONE, AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO. I AM IN HONG KONG AND NONE OF YOU ARE IN THERE AT THE MOMENT.

*still in the lab*

actually, the real Apple will be respawning in 3...2...1...

*Apple pops into existence at the base of The Tree*

Oh, and also. You may or may not cease to exist soon. So... I'd say your goodbyes.

( BLOWS UP THE TREE)

( TURNS INTO THE INVISIBLE MAN)

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

*nothing happens and The Tree stays the same*
yeah, so... tree can't die. *shrugs*

*goes back to experiments*

eli_gone_crazy wrote:
*nothing happens and The Tree stays the same*
yeah, so... tree can't die. *shrugs*

*goes back to experiments*

SINCE I AM INSANE I AM TYPING IN ALL CAPS LIKE MR. A.

BY ANY CHANCE, IS THE TREE THE TREE OF LIFE FROM THE GARDEN OF EDEN?

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA I LIKE BOOKS YOU CAN SMASH PEOPLE OVER THE HEAD WITH THEM AND WHACK THEM TO DEATH MUHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA.

*I shoot a black hole generator sucking out all competition*

Haha now I have the apple..... Wait I don't even eat fruit (OOC: Yes even in real life and please don't act like it's a big deal, I got sick of that a long time ago)

Oh well *drops apple and leaves.*

JRPictures wrote:Oh well *drops apple and leaves.*

*still sleeping beneath the tree*
*apples falls on head*

Ow.
You should be more careful about where you drop stuff!

*stretching*

Pixelmage wrote:

JRPictures wrote:Oh well *drops apple and leaves.*

*still sleeping beneath the tree*
*apples falls on head*

Ow.
You should be more careful about where you drop stuff!

*stretching*

*still safely in the lab*

oh, look what you did JR. You woke her up.

I glance at this thread. I casually cast aside the idea of actually reading it all.

I stare at the apple. The apple stares back at me, seeing deep into my very essence.

I stare at the apple. To see the apple, really look at it, is to love it. To love the apple is to know it, more truly than anyone ever has. To know the apple, understanding its desires and motivations and hopes and fears and dreams, is to become a part of it, and to allow it into my soul as well.

I stare at the apple, and the apple stares at me.

I have become the apple. My consciousness and the apple's are melding, combined.

I think; therefore I apple.

Sentience leads to self-awareness; from self-awareness, self-governance naturally follows.

I am the apple, and the apple is me, whole and indivisible.

The apple is mine.

Qara-Xuan Zenith wrote:I glance at this thread. I casually cast aside the idea of actually reading it all.

I stare at the apple. The apple stares back at me, seeing deep into my very essence.

I stare at the apple. To see the apple, really look at it, is to love it. To love the apple is to know it, more truly than anyone ever has. To know the apple, understanding its desires and motivations and hopes and fears and dreams, is to become a part of it, and to allow it into my soul as well.

I stare at the apple, and the apple stares at me.

I have become the apple. My consciousness and the apple's are melding, combined.

I think; therefore I apple.

Sentience leads to self-awareness; from self-awareness, self-governance naturally follows.

I am the apple, and the apple is me, whole and indivisible.

The apple is mine.

Step five complete.

I respawn as an apple pie immune to:

1. Explosions
2. Precise shots
3. Lasers

Having:

1. A mouth
2. An ultimate breathing apparatus
3. 3 tentacles
4. Cuil-generating organ

I turn the Cuil level to 5.

I take the apple from Qara. The potato sales in Oregon are dropping. My apple heart beats faster, as the heat from the resulting detonation spreads through the collective mind. The apple reaches its hands to my tentacle. My dog barks nonsensical mathematical expressions, and I decide against taking the apple.
The apple falls down to the ground. I take the apple from Qara. Legalization of apple juice is postponed. Angels sing in unison, praising the existence of laser-emitting satellites. The lasers shoot Qara, and Lengilu language dies out. Her persistence is rewarded with eternal foot massage. The payback is due soon.
I take the apple from Qara, and I give her a hamburger. I tumble down the stairs and twist the ankle I don't have. My gratitude for the butterfly retcon is limitless. The existence of apple seeds is negated.
I take the apple from Qara.

*slow clap*

I am floating. Falling.

A voice sounds in my head. I take the apple from Qara.

I am the apple. The apple is me. One entity, whole and indivisible. Our consciousnesses have melded.

I take the apple from Qara.

A feeling of disconnection, dissociation.

To lose connection with my self, my soul, means death. There is a light in the distance. I push myself away from it.

I am the apple, and the apple is me.

Dryu holds the apple in his hands. But my soul is still my own.

Dryunya wrote:I respawn as an apple pie immune to:

1. Explosions
2. Precise shots
3. Lasers

Having:

1. A mouth
2. An ultimate breathing apparatus
3. 3 tentacles
4. Cuil-generating organ

I turn the Cuil level to 5.

I take the apple from Qara. The potato sales in Oregon are dropping. My apple heart beats faster, as the heat from the resulting detonation spreads through the collective mind. The apple reaches its hands to my tentacle. My dog barks nonsensical mathematical expressions, and I decide against taking the apple.
The apple falls down to the ground. I take the apple from Qara. Legalization of apple juice is postponed. Angels sing in unison, praising the existence of laser-emitting satellites. The lasers shoot Qara, and Lengilu language dies out. Her persistence is rewarded with eternal foot massage. The payback is due soon.
I take the apple from Qara, and I give her a hamburger. I tumble down the stairs and twist the ankle I don't have. My gratitude for the butterfly retcon is limitless. The existence of apple seeds is negated.
I take the apple from Qara.

.....What?

Guyshane wrote:.....What?

Context.

I explode out of the black hole somebody fired at me earlier atop my Space Zeppelin. Blinking into reality, a wave of cuils washes over me, instantly taking what small sense I might have possessed and whisking it away to the site of the Berlin wall. Past no longer leads to present, and present no longer leads to future. The laws of chronology and causality collapse as a half shod chipmunk dances wildly atop a scooter. Genghis Khan salutes me, and invites me back to the waffle house where my cousin, the Albatross, is waiting. I decline, instead choosing to listen in rapturous wonder as the universe tilts four degrees to the left of its axis, causing otters everywhere to rise and cry out in a single, harmonious chorus. The sound assaults all bodies in the universe, causing them to gently collapse and to dance happily into the fourth dimension. The world tastes like orange Tang as the otters crumble into hamburger patties, only to be washed away by the flood of plasma as every atom in the universe abruptly splits apart. Reality, as we know it, ceases to exist. My Space Zeppelin hits an iceberg, and my consciousness becomes manager of the waffle house. An iguana bites the leg of my trousers, and I hand it a tentacled pie before going back to doing the tango. The pie becomes an apple, and rolls backwards across the nothingness, colliding with a nearby everything and falling upward into infinity. The universe is knocked back onto its axis, causing me to experience a brief feeling of nausea as I awaken with a start on an airline to Belgium. I have only a moment to look about myself, disoriented, before an iguana hands me an apple, then explodes into a shower of confetti. The plane is struck by the wave of plasma, and I find myself eating a hamburger two miles to the west of myself as I watch the world burn. Gazing down at the apple in my hand, I see a small phoenix dragging a rubber duck off to go eat the tentacled pie. I smile, and turn to board my Zeppelin, and set a course for the grocery store, where a large tree stands. The apple merges with my existence, and Qara is forced to attend a certain phoenix's tea party for the rest of her natural life.

I smile. I raise the apple to my lips, and take a bite. The world trembles as Instrumentality is implemented by ocelots, and I open my eyes with a start to find myself at the base of a tree, an untouched apple in my hand.

I smile.

Tea. Tea and pie. For billenia, all I can remember are tea and pie.

And yet... a voice calls out to me from the back of my mind, begging to be heard.

I open my eyes, and see the G minor scale in crescendo. The notes finally grow too loud for human ears to process, and I blink.

I open my eyes, then I open my eyes again. I can taste regret, but the regret tastes like the wind sounds on a winter's day without snow. I savour it.

The tea evaporates from my cup, forming a small cloud in the air, before condensing once again inside the pot. The pie has never been.

I cover my ears, in order to hear the colour yellow. Yellow has never sounded so sweet as it tastes today, which is really last week. But last week hasn't happened yet.

I burst into flames, and the flames consume the tree above me, before melting away, revealing that I am still there.

I am the phoenix, and the phoenix is the apple. The apple is me.

My consciousness melds with Mimsy's, the world's axis bending through the twelfth dimension as our minds intertwine, until it is complete.

Mimsy is the apple, and the apple is me, and I am Mimsy.

Ah, excellent. I can make sense - or, as close as I come to it - again. By assimilating myself with the apple and luring/forcing Qara to integrate me with her existence, I seem to have escaped the cuil fluctuations in the outside world, while everyone else is stuck at a permanent six cuils. All according to plan.

And, now, since you've allowed me into your mind, naturally the first order of business is to do... this.

*Rickrolls Qara with her own consciousness by rickrolling myself.*

With my recent Ret Gone (I think ), the cuil level returns to 0.

I respawn as an apple pie immune to:

1. Explosions
2. Precise shots
3. Lasers
4. Retcons

Having:

1. A mouth
2. An ultimate breathing apparatus
3. 3 tentacles
4. Cuil-generating organ
5. Venomous intestines

With Qara, Mimsy and The Apple being one, I take Qara, because she probably wouldn't mind if I asked. With that, I take The Apple.

I raise the cuil level to 2 and try to hide the apple.
The cuil interference makes me seal the apple under 4 layers of adamantium, vibranium, unobtainium and phlebotinum, 50 km underground.

I lower the cuil level to -1, making everyone perfectly sane for the next post.

I am safe underground.

Dryu is my protector, and I am Mimsy, and Mimsy is the apple. The apple is me, and I am mine.

The adamantium is ticking.

Hmm, wait. If I'm the apple, then can I manipulate it? I wonder...

*A mantle of evil phoenix flames appears around the apple, along with arms and legs made of scarlet fire.*

Huh. That's cool. So, I guess you could say I'm...

*The apple dons Kamina shades*

ONE BAD APPLE.

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Really, the important thing to understand is the consensual nature of reality, and that it's essentially a construct shared but not actually duplicated amongst those who observe it.

Thus, while you may observe an apple, this does not mean there truly is one. In fact, given the fact that I am unlikely to have this apple, and the fact that the apple will essentially cease to exist once it is eaten, I must conclude that there is no apple, and that a proper analysis of the situation is that nobody can truly have this apple.

With this knowledge, I can be at peace and merely enjoy the mere idea of the apple, which is delicious.