Endless Tower of Boss Battles

[Endless Sea]

Floor 299: GODZILLA, THE ORIGINAL 1954 ONE.

*punches it IN THE FACE, and somehow that works because awesomeness*

Floor 300: Lordgenome, bitches. And no, Pyro, you can't shoot this guy. Any attack- or object, for that matter- that gets within two hundred meters of him instantly disintegrates and becomes part of his aura of pure manliness.

[The Wild West Pyro]

Floor 299: GODZILLA, THE ORIGINAL 1954 ONE.

*punches it IN THE FACE, and somehow that works because awesomeness*

Floor 300: Lordgenome, bitches. And no, Pyro, you can't shoot this guy. Any attack- or object, for that matter- that gets within two hundred meters of him instantly disintegrates and becomes part of his aura of pure manliness.

ATTACKS HIM WITH MY PIPE WRENCH.

Floor 301: SPARTANS!

[Endless Sea]

Floor 301: SPARTANS!

*shows them Halo 4; they hang themselves in shame at their portrayal*

Floor 302: A gigantic cast-iron fist, dropped on you from above to squish you into a bloody pulp. Running out of the way is not an option.

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

Decoy. Decoy is crushed by fist; I go around now-fallen fist.

Floor 303: Sleep-deprivation

[Guyshane]

Caffine

Floor 304: Someone divided by zero. The universe is collapsing around that point

[The Wild West Pyro]

Caffine

Floor 304: Someone divided by zero. The universe is collapsing around that point

SHOOTS THE STUPID IDIOT WHO DID THAT. Universe is restored.

( Note- When I shoot something, I use my Lee Enfield. The silenced 1911 is a Coffee Room Weapon and is only used as a sidearm/backup. I rarely melee with the Pipe Wrench.)

Anyway,

Floor 305: The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms. Aka the Rhedosaurus.

[Guyshane]

I swear I'm gonna put an anti-shooting clause into everything

[The Wild West Pyro]

I swear I'm gonna put an anti-shooting clause into everything

WHY IS EVERYONE AGAINST THE WEAPONS I CHOOSE?

[Guyshane]

I take issue with you beating every boss with an old bolt-action without he power to even harm them

[The Wild West Pyro]

I take issue with you beating every boss with an old bolt-action without he power to even harm them

AIAJFSJKHFSJKNCJKASNKJANJKlaad;lkaj. GRRRRRRR. LJAOJSLKSDAJKLMC;alkmckl;aoaijds;lsakdjdkl;aJD.

THIS THING WAS USED IN THE WHOLE OF WWII, AND HAS UNIVERSE WRECKING, PLANET DESTROYING, FIERY EXPLODING, DEMON ANNIHILATING, AND VERY SHARP BULLETS. SAME GOES FOR THE 1911, EXCEPT IT'S SILENCED AND IS .45.

THE PIPE WRENCH IS MODELED AFTER THE VERY SAME WRENCH USED BY THE TF2 ENGINEER.

ALSO, NO MATTER WHAT WEAPON(S) OF CHOICE EVERYONE IN THIS GROUP OF METAGUARDS HAS, THEY ALL HAVE THE SPECIAL POWER TO DEFEAT BOSSES WITHOUT TROUBLE, WHICH COMES IN VERY USEFUL HERE.

THIS INCLUDES YOU, LADDIE.

[agoraoptera]

The issue is that we enjoy a little, ah, shall we say, variance in techniques? There are those like my humble self who do not, surprising as it may seem to you, wield any Weapon of Choices and instead post on this marvelous Tower thread based solely on the level. Your personal taste in weaponry is yours entirely, of course, none can contest that, but kindly refrain from overusing said equipment.

Here, an example. I give the Rhedosaurus men to eat. I pass by while he's eating.

Now, please, do not threaten Guyshane. In fact, ah, do not threaten anyone. That type of behaviour is, how shall I put it, discouraged.

Floor 306: A Wight at the End of the Tunnel.

[The Wild West Pyro]

The issue is that we enjoy a little, ah, shall we say, variance in techniques? There are those like my humble self who do not, surprising as it may seem to you, wield any Weapon of Choices and instead post on this marvelous Tower thread based solely on the level. Your personal taste in weaponry is yours entirely, of course, none can contest that, but kindly refrain from overusing said equipment.

Here, an example. I give the Rhedosaurus men to eat. I pass by while he's eating.

Now, please, do not threaten Guyshane. In fact, ah, do not threaten anyone. That type of behaviour is, how shall I put it, discouraged.

Floor 306: A Wight at the End of the Tunnel.

OK.

Shoots it with Enfield, then when magazine is out ( and for once I have no time to reload) beats it with the rifle. And then finishes it off with Pipe Wrench.

Floor 307: Rodan.

[Endless Sea]

That's not variation, Pyro. That's doing the same thing, except MORE. Why don't you just, y'know, punch stuff? Toss a bomb into the room that explodes into sunshine and rainbows? Beat a guy over the head with a drill recursively made of smaller drills? (Except don't do those three specifically, because I already called them.)

*mindcrushes Rodan, because that never gets old and I have a quip for every occasion*

Floor 308: Gapyriad, a 20+ meter-tall draconic deity quite literally made of flame, uber-metal, and pure arcane magic. Is immune to shooting, exploding, stabbing, slashing, crushing, and injury/damage and death in general. Enjoy.

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

I make friends with him, because nigh-invulnerable draconian deities are lonely and emotionally vulnerable.

Floor 309: hypocrisy.

[Endless Sea]

I make friends with him, because nigh-invulnerable draconian deities are lonely and emotionally vulnerable.

Floor 309: hypocrisy.

...sonuvabitch, that might actually work. Or something. I dunno.

*deals with the hypocrisy, due to exposure on a daily basis making me resistant to its effects*

Floor 310: Gapyriad has clones. They are exactly like the original, except they actually have friends and stuff. Ha.

[The Wild West Pyro]

I make friends with him, because nigh-invulnerable draconian deities are lonely and emotionally vulnerable.

Floor 309: hypocrisy.

...sonuvabitch, that might actually work. Or something. I dunno.

*deals with the hypocrisy, due to exposure on a daily basis making me resistant to its effects*

Floor 310: Gapyriad has clones. They are exactly like the original, except they actually have friends and stuff. Ha.

Convinces them to retire, pack up their suitcases and leave to their homes and families. They do.

Floor 311: Ultraman.

[Endless Sea]

Convinces them to retire, pack up their suitcases and leave to their homes and families. They do.

Floor 311: Ultraman.

...Sonuvabitch. Not bad. :)

*telekinetically tosses Ultraman out a window, because mindcrushing is in fact starting to get old and I'm assuming Ultraman can't fly*

Floor 312: Whatever idiots thought up the ending to Mass Effect 3.

[S_o_S]

I send them off on a creative writing course, which is taught by Qara. Because Wynaut?

Floor 313: Wynaut.

[Blurred_9L]

Put him in front of a mirror. The poor guy will try to Mirror Coat himself to death... probably.

Floor 314: The worst band of musicians ever.

[Victin]

I find people with bad taste in music, and they like the band.

Floor 315: Meteors. Bus-sized meteors appearing over your head, moving towards you at 299999999 kilometers per second.

[The Wild West Pyro]

Convinces them to retire, pack up their suitcases and leave to their homes and families. They do.

Floor 311: Ultraman.

...Sonuvabitch. Not bad.

*telekinetically tosses Ultraman out a window, because mindcrushing is in fact starting to get old and I'm assuming Ultraman can't fly*

Floor 312: Whatever idiots thought up the ending to Mass Effect 3.

Sadly, Ultraman can fly.

[The Wild West Pyro]

I find people with bad taste in music, and they like the band.

Floor 315: Meteors. Bus-sized meteors appearing over your head, moving towards you at 299999999 kilometers per second.

Uses Big Ass Fireballs to blow them up, and Enfield to destroy the smaller chunks. Then sweeps away the debris and rubble left behind.

Floor 316: Jesus.

[JackAlsworth]

"Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

"Oh, yeah, that... well, it didn't really take."

"It didn't?"

"Nope."

"Wow. Cool. So, I guess we fight now?"

"Nah, I'm not really into that fighting thing. Turn the other cheek and all that, y'know?"

"Oh, uh... okay."

"Yeah."

"So... I can just go on up?"

"Sure, why not? Say hi to my bro Peter on your way up, okay?"

"Yeah, no problem. See you later, man."

"See you."

Floor 317: Sentient Kevlar vests. Lots of them. And they're fireproof. And angry.

[The Wild West Pyro]

"Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

"Oh, yeah, that... well, it didn't really take."

"It didn't?"

"Nope."

"Wow. Cool. So, I guess we fight now?"

"Nah, I'm not really into that fighting thing. Turn the other cheek and all that, y'know?"

"Oh, uh... okay."

"Yeah."

"So... I can just go on up?"

"Sure, why not? Say hi to my bro Peter on your way up, okay?"

"Yeah, no problem. See you later, man."

"See you."

Floor 317: Sentient Kevlar vests. Lots of them. And they're fireproof. And angry.

Gets Policemen to wear them. They stop fighting.

Floor 318: THE TERMINATOR

[agoraoptera]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pUrsUORF4Y

Terminator went down to bodyguard Jesus.

Floor 319: An abrupt disturbance in the Force.