Endless Tower of Boss Battles

[RationalThought]

I yell, "ENOUGH WITH THE ULTRAMAN!!" and punch him out the window.

Floor 367: The Vorpal Bunny.

[The Wild West Pyro]

I yell, "ENOUGH WITH THE ULTRAMAN!!" and punch him out the window.

Floor 367: The Vorpal Bunny.

I shoot it.

Floor 368: GODDAMMIT, IT'S ULTRAMAN MEBIUS NOW, AND ULTRAMAN ZERO, AND ZOFFY.

[RationalThought]

I eat them and store their souls in my handbag.

369: A handbag. OF SOULS.

[The Wild West Pyro]

I eat them and store their souls in my handbag.

369: A handbag. OF SOULS.

Throws it up to Heaven.

370: PHOENIX WRIGHT!

[RationalThought]

I object to his ridiculously dramatic style, and he is forced to resign in disgrace.

371: Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law

[The Wild West Pyro]

I object to his ridiculously dramatic style, and he is forced to resign in disgrace.

371: Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law

Throws acid at him.

372: Atticus Finch, the last one.

[S_o_S]

Atticus Finch is a pacifist. I walk past him. GG.

Floor 373: A cooking show.

[JackAlsworth]

Eat ALL THE THINGS.

nomnomnomnomnomnomnom*blechwhatisthisidonteven*nomnomnomnomnomnomnom

Floor 374: Heavy metal. (The music genre, I mean. Not a heavy metal object. That would just be weird.)

[AMimsyBorogove]

I battle it with the POWER OF ROCK. Screaming and incoherent noise pales in comparison to the might of classy guitar riffs and occasionally-passable singing.

Floor 375: A very heavy slab of metal, blocking your path.

[Genndy Oda C.O.G.]

I hammer through it.
Floor 376: You must defeat Alton Brown, Guy Fierri, and Bobby Flay in a team cooking competition. Your team consists of you, Pyro, and Endless Sea. (If you are either of them, swap yourself for me) The judges are the three remaining members of the Cabal. Don't ask, cook.

[Victin]

(O.O)

( O.O)

*Pyro is burning the Cabal members while shooting them with a LEE Enfield and trying to summon the spirit of Don Quixote*

(O.O)

(O.O )

*Endless Sea is mindcrushing Alton Brown, Guy Fierri, and Bobby Flay, while being snarky*

(－‸ლ)

*goes to the next level*

Floor 377: SPAM!!!!!

[AMimsyBorogove]

I wrap it in bacon.

Floor 378: Breakdancing demon Elvis.

[The Wild West Pyro]

I wrap it in bacon.

Floor 378: Breakdancing demon Elvis.

Smashes him over the head with his own guitar and then shoots him and sends him to Hell.

Floor 379: DEMOPAN

[AMimsyBorogove]

Demopan? What use is the trial version of a cooking implement? I already have a fully functional pan of my own, thank you.

Floor 380: Charlie Sheen driving a rocket-powered zamboni.

[The Wild West Pyro]

Demopan? What use is the trial version of a cooking implement? I already have a fully functional pan of my own, thank you.

Floor 380: Charlie Sheen driving a rocket-powered zamboni.

Lassos him off his rocket.

Floor 381: CAVE JOHNSON WITH LEMONS, DOING THE CHARLESTON ON A ROCKING CHAIR ON A HOBBY HORSE ON A PLANET IN SPACE

[AMimsyBorogove]

He falls over because he's on a rocking chair. His combustible lemons ignite the chair, which is made of wood. But it doesn't matter, because sadly, he's already long dead.

Floor 382: Turrets!

[Scarab]

Shoot them with a lemon gun.

Floor 383: The entirety of the cast of Riverdance who have spent the years since the shows final closing curtain learning the ancient and sacred art of Kung fu in the mountains. They rise against you in vengance.

[The Wild West Pyro]

Shoot them with a lemon gun.

Floor 383: The entirety of the cast of Riverdance who have spent the years since the shows final closing curtain learning the ancient and sacred art of Kung fu in the mountains. They rise against you in vengance.

Shoots them all. Then buries them

Floor 384: Klingons

[AMimsyBorogove]

I alter the universe to define all Klingons by a single member of their species - Worf.

They are easily and pathetically defeated.

Floor 385: Every single thing that's ever beaten the ever-loving crap out of Worf. EVER.

[The Wild West Pyro]

I alter the universe to define all Klingons by a single member of their species - Worf.

They are easily and pathetically defeated.

Floor 385: Every single thing that's ever beaten the ever-loving crap out of Worf. EVER.

SHOOTS THEM ALL. THEN LYNCHES THEM WITH FLAMING COWBOY LASSO.

Floor 386: Every person who has made your life a living hell. Feel free to get revenge on them.

[Endless Sea]

I refuse. Revenge is kind of a dick move.

Floor 387: You are now no longer able to use any sort of weapon. Enjoy the giant thirty-headed lion-dragon!

[The Wild West Pyro]

I refuse. Revenge is kind of a dick move.

Floor 387: You are now no longer able to use any sort of weapon. Enjoy the giant thirty-headed lion-dragon!

HA!

( Goes into Phoenix mode, which means he bursts into flames, that don't harm him of course, flies up and speeds like a torpedo towards the enemy)

THE DRAGON HAS BEEN BURNT ALIVE!

Floor 388: Linda Blair.

[AMimsyBorogove]

I was a phoenix before it was cool. And by that, I mean your FIRE ISN'T HOT ENOUGH!

FUJIYAMA VOLCANO!

After destroying the entire floor with a shower of flames, bullets, and flaming bullets, I advance.

Floor 389: A scottish kebab salesman with an infinite stock who successfully uses Lelouch vi Britannia's Geass of absolute command on you to force you to purchase and eat every last one of his kebabs. He has infinite kebabs. You cannot escape.

[Victin]

I don't have the money to buy all the kebabs, so he kicks me out. Also, he isn't Lelouch, so he can't Geass me up.

Floor 290: Kyle and Captain Falconbeard McKickass

[AMimsyBorogove]

I respond with Kyle Katarn and Captain Falcon. As the universe is destroyed by the combined awesome of two memetic badasses curbstomping the floor bosses, I somehow survive and move up the tower.

Floor 391: A mustachioed man with a jetpack and a chainsaw.