A funny thing happened in class today....

[Krika]

See, in Writing Seminar, we did this free-writing thing that was supposed to be about 10 minutes, write a paragraph that would help us kickstart our discussion in class. I spent the better part of an hour and an entire blank side of paper writing this. Dunno what I'm going to do with it, might revist it later (I can think of ways that I could expand it with, if I felt like actually going into some research), but in the meantime......can't think of anything better to do with it. Enjoy, I guess.

There are two categories of friends that I use: "real-life friends" and "internet friends" (this is not to imply that "real-life friends" are in any way more or less valid than "internet friends"). I have many friends that fall into each category and each category has a different twist on how I relate to that person. With "real-life friends" I tend to be a bit more guarded about myself, because if I let something embarrassing happen, or show weakness, or what have you, it's harder to avoid them and the implications and results. However, I also have a stronger emotional attachment to these people, because I am able to see the whole of them, see them as a person, and thus I can relate to them in a more direct way. For my "internet friends", the characteristics are somewhat reversed. I am freer with my conversation in some ways, because I know that they will be unlikely to be able to find me in any context other than the one I know them in, so if I want to get away, I can and they aren't going to be able to follow me. This generally leads to me being chattier with them than with "real-life friends", because of the larger variety of "safe" topics. However, I do know that I am not actually friends with those people. Rather, I am friends with their "avatars", which are separate and distinct (though related), as compared to the person behind it. In the same sense, I am (barring exceptions that are supposed to be the "real" me, such as Facebook) not me online. I also am an "avatar" of myself, which I create on online persona with. This knowledge of not actually talking to the person, and that it is not exactly me talking to them, makes any emotional connections not only much harder to form, but much weaker as well, because nobody involved actually knows the "real" person.

It is probably the emotional connection differences that drive my creation of these two groupings of friends. Generally speaking, I have difficulty understanding social situations, and tend to have difficulty emotionally connecting with people (This is for many, many reasons, none of which are relevant. The existence of this difficulty is the important thing here). This means that I take more readily to "internet friends", because in that situation I do not have to worry about forming those emotional bonds. However, this does mean that I do have a less strong ability to make "real-life friends", and in particular the strong emotional bonds that I think characterize them, which can result in less emotional support when/if I need it. However, I can imagine a person who is something of an opposite of me like that. I can imagine a person who forms close emotional bonds easily, and as a result makes a ton of close "real-life friends". However, because of this reliance on the emotional connection, they have difficulty with the non-emotional "internet friend", and might have difficulty extricating the platonic relationship from the emotional bond. Neither of these stereotypes is necessarily better or worse than the other, but I do believe that they would handle the two different friendship groups in entirely different ways, focusing more on one kind than the other (and then there exists the middle between them, which is an entirely valid place to be. These are just two ends of a spectrum of social ability).

I don't think the differences actually mean anything (they just exist), but I do think that they exist partly because of the distinction between how relationships are formed online as compared and contrasted to how relationships are formed in real-life, and partly because of how certain people are geared to work better in one environment than the other.

[The Wild West Pyro]

See, in Writing Seminar, we did this free-writing thing that was supposed to be about 10 minutes, write a paragraph that would help us kickstart our discussion in class. I spent the better part of an hour and an entire blank side of paper writing this. Dunno what I'm going to do with it, might revist it later (I can think of ways that I could expand it with, if I felt like actually going into some research), but in the meantime......can't think of anything better to do with it. Enjoy, I guess.

There are two categories of friends that I use: "real-life friends" and "internet friends" (this is not to imply that "real-life friends" are in any way more or less valid than "internet friends"). I have many friends that fall into each category and each category has a different twist on how I relate to that person. With "real-life friends" I tend to be a bit more guarded about myself, because if I let something embarrassing happen, or show weakness, or what have you, it's harder to avoid them and the implications and results. However, I also have a stronger emotional attachment to these people, because I am able to see the whole of them, see them as a person, and thus I can relate to them in a more direct way. For my "internet friends", the characteristics are somewhat reversed. I am freer with my conversation in some ways, because I know that they will be unlikely to be able to find me in any context other than the one I know them in, so if I want to get away, I can and they aren't going to be able to follow me. This generally leads to me being chattier with them than with "real-life friends", because of the larger variety of "safe" topics. However, I do know that I am not actually friends with those people. Rather, I am friends with their "avatars", which are separate and distinct (though related), as compared to the person behind it. In the same sense, I am (barring exceptions that are supposed to be the "real" me, such as Facebook) not me online. I also am an "avatar" of myself, which I create on online persona with. This knowledge of not actually talking to the person, and that it is not exactly me talking to them, makes any emotional connections not only much harder to form, but much weaker as well, because nobody involved actually knows the "real" person.
It is probably the emotional connection differences that drive my creation of these two groupings of friends. Generally speaking, I have difficulty understanding social situations, and tend to have difficulty emotionally connecting with people (This is for many, many reasons, none of which are relevant. The existence of this difficulty is the important thing here). This means that I take more readily to "internet friends", because in that situation I do not have to worry about forming those emotional bonds. However, this does mean that I do have a less strong ability to make "real-life friends", and in particular the strong emotional bonds that I think characterize them, which can result in less emotional support when/if I need it. However, I can imagine a person who is something of an opposite of me like that. I can imagine a person who forms close emotional bonds easily, and as a result makes a ton of close "real-life friends". However, because of this reliance on the emotional connection, they have difficulty with the non-emotional "internet friend", and might have difficulty extricating the platonic relationship from the emotional bond. Neither of these stereotypes is necessarily better or worse than the other, but I do believe that they would handle the two different friendship groups in entirely different ways, focusing more on one kind than the other (and then there exists the middle between them, which is an entirely valid place to be. These are just two ends of a spectrum of social ability).
I don't think the differences actually mean anything (they just exist), but I do think that they exist partly because of the distinction between how relationships are formed online as compared and contrasted to how relationships are formed in real-life, and partly because of how certain people are geared to work better in one environment than the other.

Wall of TEXT.

But very interesting viewpoint on the differences between two particular groups of friends.

[Krika]

This is literally a page long essay I wrote on a whim and inspiration. There's no way I can't make it a wall of text.

[eli_gone_crazy]

i think it's absolutely badass

[The Wild West Pyro]

This is literally a page long essay I wrote on a whim and inspiration. There's no way I can't make it a wall of text.

It's very interesting, to see the differences.

I think you'll get a decent grade for this.

[Krika]

......nononono. This is something I wrote for a free-write in class that was only intended to give us a launching point to start the discussion. It's not going to be graded, or anything, unless I actually make it fit one of the assignments and turn it in that way.

Which is sad. I'd rather have had this inspiration on something that was graded.

[The Wild West Pyro]

......nononono. This is something I wrote for a free-write in class that was only intended to give us a launching point to start the discussion. It's not going to be graded, or anything, unless I actually make it fit one of the assignments and turn it in that way.

Which is sad. I'd rather have had this inspiration on something that was graded.

Oh. OK.

[Endless Sea]

...maybe it's because I'm kinda tired at the now, but all I can really think of after reading that is remembering some Cracked.com article I read a while back, wincing at how my parents are convinced I need to make more friends (and the only ones that will accept me are autistic kids), and wondering why I haven't finished that e-mail I've been working on for months.

[Victin]

...maybe it's because I'm kinda tired at the now, but all I can really think of after reading that is remembering some Cracked.com article I read a while back, wincing at how my parents are convinced I need to make more friends (and the only ones that will accept me are autistic kids), and wondering why I haven't finished that e-mail I've been working on for months.

I'm laughing at this more than I should, and I don't know why.

And I agree with Krika. A very good summary about friendship

[Pixelmage]

I like it.

I'd probably attempt to write some thoughts of my own if i wasn't so tired, but, as I am now I'd probably not be coherent, so... Maybe later. xD

[Scarab]

This is really well thought out, Krika, nice one

I'd probably attempt to write some thoughts of my own if i wasn't so tired, but, as I am now I'd probably not be coherent, so... Maybe later. xD

So while Pixel is recovering, I'll do it instead Incoming text wall, people... See, this part in particular of what Krika said really got me thinking.

However, I do know that I am not actually friends with those people. Rather, I am friends with their "avatars", which are separate and distinct (though related), as compared to the person behind it. In the same sense, I am (barring exceptions that are supposed to be the "real" me, such as Facebook) not me online. I also am an "avatar" of myself, which I create on online persona with. This knowledge of not actually talking to the person, and that it is not exactly me talking to them, makes any emotional connections not only much harder to form, but much weaker as well, because nobody involved actually knows the "real" person.

That is particularly true in a situation like ours where lines between reality and fiction in this ARG were blurred. I remember the first time a player broke immersion with me... Until that point we had, by mutual, unspoken agreement, stuck within the boundaries of the game. The moment they spoke to me just as me, not a player, was awkward, but also nice. It felt like we had stepped beyond relating to each other as just players.

I always used to paranoidly worry that maybe I was... lying to people online, or just not being my true self? I’m still sure there ARE differences in the way I behave here, but I also behave differently around, say, my boss. That’s a situation where interactions are dictated by ‘personas’. But that doesn’t explain why I act differently around my uncle, to my mother, or my cousin to my grandmother... Those people don’t expect me to behave in a certain way, yet I do it anyway, without realising. Why?

This thought led me to a possible conclusion that there is no such thing as a single set personality online or in the real world. Our personality changes depending upon what is required. It’s easier to imagine we’re shielding ourselves behind avatars, but that shield is an illusion. Unless you spend your entire life online lying about then we’re not really shielded at all. We’re just not showing certain facets, which is why we, as you said Krika, feel more at ease with discussing some issues.

I think in their own way the real life support systems we build with people IRL are more important than those we form online (if any of you guys were in trouble, you could rant or panic to me and I’d do my best to be there for you, but in most cases I can’t give you any actual HELP... or for that matter, a reasonable corresponding timezone in which to DO your ranting ), but I wonder if we’re suggesting there’s more of a divide between online friends and real friends than there actually is?

I don’t know myself. I just know you guys are all badass.