Best Badass Boast

[Adell]

Okay, that's enough with the double, triple, quadruple, etc, posting Pryo. One or two posts in a row, fine? 12? That is waaaaay too many.

[The Wild West Pyro]

Okay, that's enough with the double, triple, quadruple, etc, posting Pyro. One or two posts in a row, fine? 12? That is waaaaay too many.

Sorry, I had severe Testosterone Poisoning.

OK, JUST ONE BOAST THIS TIME:

I AM GOING TO GRAB MY FLAMING LASSO AND HANG YOU OVER A CLIFF!

[JRPictures]

Oh I'm sorry but I can't let a dead man live. That's you by the way.

I could let you go but killing you is simpler.

You think you can defeat me?! TV TROPES DIDN'T RUIN MY LIFE. AND NEITHER CAN YOU!

[The Wild West Pyro]

I am going to RIP YOUR ARSE INTO SHREDS THEN INVITE YOUR CORPSE TO TEA!

[S_o_S]

Oh honey, you forgot your common sense pills this morning, didn't you?

[The Wild West Pyro]

I may only have a Mauser C96 to defend myself with, while all you guards have automatic rifles-but I'm not trapped in a room with you guys-YOU ARE ALL TRAPPED IN HERE WITH ME!- The Wild West Pyro before a very vicious gunfight. He won, but not before getting all his ribs shot.

[Endless Sea]

In that case, I could teach you a thing or two about traps. Or, for that matter, getting shot. Do you know what a bullet to the frontal lobe feels like? No? Well, neither do I, so I expect you to give a full description.

[JackAlsworth]

There's a cold, dark pit in hell waiting for me. I'd like you to warm it up a bit.

[Pixelmage]

Hello.

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

And here I was hoping for a challenge.

[The Wild West Pyro]

I may look weak, but think before you act-cause in a few seconds, your brains will be sliding across the floor.

[Victin]

Awww... Do you really have to go? Awww... What a pity. I wanted to play a little more. Bye bye, mistah.

[S_o_S]

I swore to myself long ago that I would never let myself give in to hate. For so long, I've always tried to see the good in people and look past their darkness. And now I come to you. And even now, I will not give in, in spite of what you have done. You're not worth hating. You're not worth killing. You're not even worth beating to a pulp and punishing. But I'm going to do it anyway. It's what you deserve after all.

[Endless Sea]

Hmph. It's a testament to your constitution that you didn't immediately implode upon getting within ten meters of me. Now, let's try nine.

[AMimsyBorogove]

I would say that you just jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire, but you see, there never was any frying pan, because I ate it for breakfast this morning.

...

WITHOUT GREASING IT.

...

So basically, what I'm saying is that you're on fire. ^^ /metaphorgotten

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

*smiles*

[Endless Sea]

When I was twenty-six years old, it took me about a week to annihilate a fortress like yours, along with everyone inside. At two hundred and sixty, it took me less than three hours. I'm over a thousand years old now and still in my prime; how long, I wonder, would it take me now?

[AMimsyBorogove]

I was told once that I could not simply walk into Mordor.

...

So, I did a jig along the way, while standing on top of a flying robotic dinosaur. As you can see, I must have succeeded, as I am still alive, and now hold a trophy for "Best jig done while standing on a flying robotic dinosaur." Would you like to see it?

[Victin]

They told me I could be anything I wanted. Then I became the grim reaper.

[Krika]

This story. When you get to the end you'll get it.

[Guyshane]

Hello, little man.

[The Wild West Pyro]

Good Morning, Professor Moriarty.

[Genndy Oda C.O.G.]

This.

[The Wild West Pyro]

Thank you sir, but if you do not keep on pressing your Beretta against my head, I will shoot you so badly you will be broken in HALF.

[Rick Healey]

I stared death in the face, and learned the sweetest taste in the world is when you've defied fate and lived. I was born to nothing, yet I have walked among the men and women that build the world. I have sundered hopes, and I have united families. I have been the last respite of the just and the final hatred for the wicked. I have tasted Hell and understood Heaven from the experience. I am ready. Even if I'm afraid, I will not be stopped.

You may call me Rick Healey or Thirty-two Underscore Footsteps, it matters not. But know this - I am in control.