Best Badass Boast

[Endless Sea]

For now. You're in control for now. There, fixed that for ya.

[Victin]

Hi! I came here to defeat you! Just wait until my tea is over, m'kay? :3

[The Wild West Pyro]

Hi there, Adolf Hitler! How would you like to get your ass kicked? Do you want me to shoot you, hang you, strangle you, fireball you, beat you to death with my rifle, blow you head off or trap you in your own gas chamber? Let's talk about this over lunch, bye!

[eli_gone_crazy]

Are you coming to play as well?

[The Wild West Pyro]

:) Are you coming to play as well?

Oh yes I am!

Hello Mr. Hitler. It's time we settled this for once and for all.

[Victin]

What's going on, you ask? Fire, my dear friend. Lots and lots of fire.
*cue an army of airships firing at the enemy*

[JRPictures]

I don't want to say hello to your gun. BUT YOU CAN SAY HELLO TO MY GIANT MECHA AND DIE

*blows up building*

[The Wild West Pyro]

Oh, a katana. Cool.

( Cue shot from my Mauser C96)

But you've forgot this-NEVER, EVER, BRING A SWORD TO A GUNFIGHT.

[S_o_S]

Not to be a pedant, but the vast majority of these are Pre-Asskicking One Liners - not Badass Boasts. *shot*

[The Wild West Pyro]

Not to be a pedant, but the vast majority of these are Pre-Asskicking One Liners - not Badass Boasts. *shot*

DANG.

OK.....

YOUR FACE WILL BE MESSED UP BY ME!!!!

[JRPictures]

Not to be a pedant, but the vast majority of these are Pre-Asskicking One Liners - not Badass Boasts. *shot*

I once knew what a true Badass Boast was.

But then i got knocked down...

So I got up and became a better man.

And because of that.

I WILL DESTROY YOU

[The Wild West Pyro]

I've broken all my bones before, and nearly shot up twice. But on my worst days I could still shoot the hell out of you.

[Krika]

You call that a Badass Boast? Let me tell you son, you've got a ways to go if you think something like that will cut it.

[The Wild West Pyro]

You call that a Badass Boast? Let me tell you son, you've got a ways to go if you think something like that will cut it.

WHAT? YOU DARE INSULT ME? I WILL GET YOUR WRENCH AND TURN YOUR HEAD INTO A BOLT!

[The Wild West Pyro]

OK....so...

Hitler, stop sending men to try and kill me. Remember, I can take you and your pitiful army down armed only with my C96, and if you still keep on sending them, I will track you down and incinerate you. And I will not need to send someone to go with me.

[Rick Healey]

See, folks are mostly going about this the wrong way. A Badass Boast isn't to try to present what you want to be, and make yourself seem like you're potentially that good. A true Badass Boast is about what you already are, what you've already done, and why you've already shown yourself to be that good.

Most of this thread isn't either a Badass Boast or a Pre-Asskicking One Liner. It's mostly wishful thinking.

[JRPictures]

See, folks are mostly going about this the wrong way. A Badass Boast isn't to try to present what you want to be, and make yourself seem like you're potentially that good. A true Badass Boast is about what you already are, what you've already done, and why you've already shown yourself to be that good.

Most of this thread isn't either a Badass Boast or a Pre-Asskicking One Liner. It's mostly wishful thinking.

Rick

YOU ARE AWESOME

[Krika]

Which is why I am mostly unimpressed by this thread.

[The Wild West Pyro]

See, folks are mostly going about this the wrong way. A Badass Boast isn't to try to present what you want to be, and make yourself seem like you're potentially that good. A true Badass Boast is about what you already are, what you've already done, and why you've already shown yourself to be that good.

Most of this thread isn't either a Badass Boast or a Pre-Asskicking One Liner. It's mostly wishful thinking.

With that in mind....

I've managed to defeat all my bullies up to now, you're nothing!

[Scarab]

See, folks are mostly going about this the wrong way. A Badass Boast isn't to try to present what you want to be, and make yourself seem like you're potentially that good. A true Badass Boast is about what you already are, what you've already done, and why you've already shown yourself to be that good.

Most of this thread isn't either a Badass Boast or a Pre-Asskicking One Liner. It's mostly wishful thinking.

Okay... let me give this a shot.

Um... I helped obliterate a god with a story? No, that's only true in a fictional situation which never actually happened. Um...

I wrote a story that, in a world where narrative convention was applied to reality, made me capable of helping push a god out of reality and save the planet from eternal mindrape. It mattered enough that people thought it worthy of that potential, and it meant I could help the people I cared about.

Maybe I won't ever move the world. But I can move people now and then, and that's enough. I can use what I have to save who I love.

I mean, compared to that, most job interviews are actually a piece of cake, really.

[narrativedilettante]

See, folks are mostly going about this the wrong way. A Badass Boast isn't to try to present what you want to be, and make yourself seem like you're potentially that good. A true Badass Boast is about what you already are, what you've already done, and why you've already shown yourself to be that good.

Most of this thread isn't either a Badass Boast or a Pre-Asskicking One Liner. It's mostly wishful thinking.

I... I came up with this a while ago, but decided not to post it because I was worried it would stir up things that would be better left in the past, but... I think it works as a Badass Boast? At least, it's neither a Pre-Asskicking One Liner or wishful thinking. Um, here it is. *gulp*

Do you know what I did to Dr. Watson? I liked him. He was a good man. I like to think we'd be friends, if we had a chance to get to know each other. And I forced him to murder his best friend. Then, I explained to him in very clear terms how he had been manipulated into doing so, so that before his own death, he completely understood the full extent of his own betrayal, as well as the betrayal that had been committed against him. This is what I did to a man I liked. If I were you, I would try very, very hard not to find out what I would do to someone I disliked.

[The Wild West Pyro]

See, folks are mostly going about this the wrong way. A Badass Boast isn't to try to present what you want to be, and make yourself seem like you're potentially that good. A true Badass Boast is about what you already are, what you've already done, and why you've already shown yourself to be that good.

Most of this thread isn't either a Badass Boast or a Pre-Asskicking One Liner. It's mostly wishful thinking.

I... I came up with this a while ago, but decided not to post it because I was worried it would stir up things that would be better left in the past, but... I think it works as a Badass Boast? At least, it's neither a Pre-Asskicking One Liner or wishful thinking. Um, here it is. *gulp*

Do you know what I did to Dr. Watson? I liked him. He was a good man. I like to think we'd be friends, if we had a chance to get to know each other. And I forced him to murder his best friend. Then, I explained to him in very clear terms how he had been manipulated into doing so, so that before his own death, he completely understood the full extent of his own betrayal, as well as the betrayal that had been committed against him. This is what I did to a man I liked. If I were you, I would try very, very hard not to find out what I would do to someone I disliked.

NOW THIS IS A BADASS BOAST.

[Rick Healey]

Rick

YOU ARE AWESOME

Kind of you to say, thank you.

Maybe I won't ever move the world. But I can move people now and then, and that's enough. I can use what I have to save who I love.

Now that's a good one. It's understanding who you are, and knowing how to make that do whatever you want.

I'll give folks one bit of advice. I've found that if you truly want to boast about amazing things, you go out and find amazing things to do. No matter how silly it might seem. Chase opportunities that come up. And it doesn't matter how much time you spend online (a good number of my best moments came about in part because of how much I spend either online or with video games), just know when to walk away from it if it'll be something to talk about.

Oh, and as much as possible, bring a friend along. You'll want independent backup for some of this stuff. And beyond that, the going isn't always easy - it's best to have a friend there to help during the big moments. The best stories are never "my story" or "his/her story." The best ones, the ones truly worth boasting about, are "our story," and "their story."

[Guyshane]

Rick I love how you're giving us advice for IRL Badass Boasts

[Krika]

Well, then I should probably spend more time outside during my schools upcoming Humans versus Zombies game. Good stories can come out of that.