The Coffee Room

[The Wild West Pyro]

( Comes into the Coffee Room for the first time, with Murder on the Orient Express and Usborne True Stories: The Wild West tucked inside his jacket pockets. Sits down in one of the many comfy chairs.)

Hi!

Just 3 things:

1: I'm 12. Does that make me the youngest troper to be working on the ARG? Oh, and I'm in Year 9.

2: Can I bring my own mug of Chocolate Milk in?

3: I'm drinking Milk Chocolate Mocha Joe now, it's awesome.

( Finishes drink, plugs in MacBook Charger, opens MacBook Pro, 13 Inch, and starts playing Team Fortress 2, while the other troopers relax and do whatever stuff they like to do.)

[The Finch]

( Comes into the Coffee Room for the first time, with Murder on the Orient Express tucked inside his jacket pocket. Sits down in one of the many comfy chairs.)

Hi!

Just 3 things:

1: I'm 12. Does that make me the youngest troper to be working on the ARG?

2: Can I bring my own mug of Chocolate Milk in?

3: I'm drinking Milk Chocolate Mocha Joe now, it's awesome.

Greetings.

This is the Coffee Room, where Chaos is supreme. I'm Jacob. I learned Transformation sometime in here, so this is why I'm an NES.

Transform.

(Changes into Finch)

There we are.

Now, first things first. You probably are the youngest member, since I am 15. Second, you can bring whatever you want, but the main drink is the Green Stuff (TM). Finally, have fun.

[The Wild West Pyro]

OK.
( Goes back to gaming Team Fortress 2.)

( Door slams open. A man with a fedora, goggles, a long brown coat, bandages around his head and a briefcase and umbrella in his hand, as well as a Billy Club in his belt, staggers into the room, half frozen. Off duty Metaguards stop and stare.

It's the Invisible Man.)

The Invisible Man: " A FIRE! IN THE NAME OF CHARITY, JOE AND LIME MAN, ONE GREEN GLASS BOTTLE OF GREEN STUFF MIXED WITH HOT COCOA AND MARSHMALLOWS AND MONOCAINE AND A FIRE! I'M FREEZING TO DEATH!"

[Sicon112]

Just so ya know, guys, Xana banned outside food or drink. It didn't drive people insane with eldritch horrors fast enough, so we decided it was too boring.

[Scarab]

About a dozen times. Give or take.
Also, JR insists in bringing his own brew of Blue Stuff (C)... Xana already burned, broke, deleted, killed, mutated and all around murdered the thing (and JR) but he keeps bringing it in... Now there's a prize for whoever gets rid of it.
Also, be careful, there's lava ants behind you. And killer ninja chickens somewhere in here. Don't know where, they're good ninjas.

*Jumps away from the lava ants, hitting them with one of her many scarves before going 'sod it' and frezing them all with a still slightly gltichy ice wand.* ...Huh, I haven't missed THAT much, then. as anybody tried giving all the blue stuff TO the ninja chickens? I mean, the best way of getting rid of pretty much anything around here appears to be feeding it to something.

( Comes into the Coffee Room for the first time, with Murder on the Orient Express tucked inside his jacket pocket. Sits down in one of the many comfy chairs.)
Hi!
Just 3 things:
1: I'm 12. Does that make me the youngest troper to be working on the ARG?
2: Can I bring my own mug of Chocolate Milk in?
3: I'm drinking Milk Chocolate Mocha Joe now, it's awesome.

Greetings.
This is the Coffee Room, where Chaos is supreme. I'm Jacob. I learned Transformation sometime in here, so this is why I'm an NES.
Transform.
(Changes into Finch)
There we are.
Now, first things first. You probably are the youngest member, since I am 15. Second, you can bring whatever you want, but the main drink is the Green Stuff (TM). Finally, have fun.

Yeah I think you're pretty much the youngest here although age means relatively little at the UPPER end of the scale (I'm in my mid twenties, I think I'm one of the OLDEST) so I don't see why it should matter on the other end... except we may not be allowed to serve you the green stuff unless we dilute it first. I don't want to be held responsible for intoxicating minors.

Also, keep an eye on Finch, every now and then he turns into something adorable, you just have to wait.

[Endless Sea]

...I STILL don't have my jug. D:

[Sicon112]

...I STILL don't have my jug. D:

I could give you this man-eating eldritch jug that I found behind the bar counter if you want... but it seems to be filled with the liquified cries of the damned, and I don't think it's gonna wash out easily. Also, it's trying to sprout tentacles...

[Endless Sea]

...I STILL don't have my jug. D:

I could give you this man-eating eldritch jug that I found behind the bar counter if you want... but it seems to be filled with the liquified cries of the damned, and I don't think it's gonna wash out easily. Also, it's trying to sprout tentacles...

That actually sounds kinda cool, but liquified cries of the damned isn't green stuff.

[NeverSlender]

...I STILL don't have my jug. D:

I could give you this man-eating eldritch jug that I found behind the bar counter if you want... but it seems to be filled with the liquified cries of the damned, and I don't think it's gonna wash out easily. Also, it's trying to sprout tentacles...

That actually sounds kinda cool, but liquified cries of the damned isn't green stuff.

No, it's what the Green Stuff (TM) leaves behind.

[Scarab]

...I STILL don't have my jug. D:

I could give you this man-eating eldritch jug that I found behind the bar counter if you want... but it seems to be filled with the liquified cries of the damned, and I don't think it's gonna wash out easily. Also, it's trying to sprout tentacles...

Dude, I think that belongs to Isla you should really ask before handing it over to EndlessSea.

[IslaKariese]

...I STILL don't have my jug. D:

I could give you this man-eating eldritch jug that I found behind the bar counter if you want... but it seems to be filled with the liquified cries of the damned, and I don't think it's gonna wash out easily. Also, it's trying to sprout tentacles...

Dude, I think that belongs to Isla you should really ask before handing it over to EndlessSea.

*Is watching you ALL*

[The Finch]

Transform

(Turns into an Observatory)

I'M WATCHING YOU WATCHING HIM

[Sicon112]

Dude, I think that belongs to Isla you should really ask before handing it over to EndlessSea.

*Is watching you ALL*

Oh, hey Isla. This yours?

[NeverSlender]

Dude, I think that belongs to Isla you should really ask before handing it over to EndlessSea.

*Is watching you ALL*

Oh, hey Isla. This yours?

I think someone gave it to her as a wedding gift.

[IslaKariese]

Oh, hey Isla. This yours?

*looks at the jug* Why yes. It is. Are you planning on causing chaos with it?

[Sicon112]

Oh, hey Isla. This yours?

*looks at the jug* Why yes. It is. Are you planning on causing chaos with it?

Who do you think you are talking to, exactly?

[Endless Sea]

Transform

(Turns into an Observatory)

I'M WATCHING YOU WATCHING HIM

Why is everyone watching but not forking over a jug?

...I just reread my own typing, and is it just me, or am I acting especially dickish lately?

[Sicon112]

Transform

(Turns into an Observatory)

I'M WATCHING YOU WATCHING HIM

Why is everyone watching but not forking over a jug?

...I just reread my own typing, and is it just me, or am I acting especially dickish lately?

Probably just a side effect of this place...

[The Finch]

Transform

(Turns into an Observatory)

I'M WATCHING YOU WATCHING HIM

Why is everyone watching but not forking over a jug?

...I just reread my own typing, and is it just me, or am I acting especially dickish lately?

Possibly.

(Starts looking again at Isla)

[IslaKariese]

(Starts looking again at Isla)

*Turns to look at him* Was there something you wanted.

[The Finch]

(Starts looking again at Isla)

*Turns to look at him* Was there something you wanted.

No, I just wanted to say hi.

(Starts looking at the shiny mug)

Ooooh... It's pretty...

[IslaKariese]

*looks at the jug* Why yes. It is. Are you planning on causing chaos with it?

Who do you think you are talking to, exactly?

*stares, then nods* Proceed.

[Sicon112]

*looks at the jug* Why yes. It is. Are you planning on causing chaos with it?

Who do you think you are talking to, exactly?

*stares, then nods* Proceed.

Gladly. *slams jug onto Sea's head upside-down, then triggers the noose trap around his leg, hanging him from the ceiling* Hey, guys, look! Pinata!

[JackAlsworth]

Such is the power of the Coffee Room that the jug hasn't actually done anything yet, but is still automatically the scariest thing currently in the room.

Yes, this is the room populated with eldritch abominations and a trigger-happy nuclear assassin. And Sicon. I'm still not going anywhere near that jug.

EDIT: Goddamnit, jug-ninja'd.

[Pixelmage]

Eyes closed. Swinging a blade on a stick at the Pinata!