The Coffee Room

[Genndy Oda C.O.G.]

*Revives, and blasts Quixote with a cannonball from mallet* There you go, Pyro, and thanks for the book. *returns to reading*

You are welcome.

( The fictionals applaud Genndy. He then gets handshakes and Romeo's fist bump. The Cabal then put on gloves and shake his hand a bit slowly. And finally Mr. A covers his arm in lime yogurt and shakes Genndy's hand.)

100,000,000 Kudos points for you.

Now, I wonder where Quixote is?

( Goes back to reading Usborne Classics Retold: Don Quixote)

( Quixote lands in Holland, in a field full of Windmills. Oh no.)

Quixote: GET READY TO FIGHT, YOU GIANT ROGUES! I SHALL VANQUISH YOU FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL!

Oh, and The Cabal, minus Don Juan, who has gotten out one of our TVs and is watching Meet the Parents,are discussing about us.

Hmmm....

They seem to be talking about Mr. A, Joe, Us, Music, and our kind emails.

In order:
Thanks.
Crackers.
Interesting.

[SOHCAHTOA]

Oh well *drinks water, head's asplodes into lazors. GREEN LAZORS*

Behold. I am become the Headless Horselessman, with the power to shoot lazors from my neck! GREEN LAZORS!

*SHOOTS EVERYTHING EVER!!!*

I just can't help but feel that something more than an exploded head should happen to you when your entire body suddenly becomes hotter than the sun.

Projected SCT respawn time: ??:??

HA! Don't you know, that I'm nigh immune to heat! Wait, which sun was it again? Oh fu- *vaporizes*

Expected respawn time: 2 hours.

EDIT: SH*T I'M LATE! Waita minte, where's errybody?

[Genndy Oda C.O.G.]

I'm here. Sorry, I didn't notice you.

[The Wild West Pyro]

Oh well *drinks water, head's asplodes into lazors. GREEN LAZORS*

Behold. I am become the Headless Horselessman, with the power to shoot lazors from my neck! GREEN LAZORS!

*SHOOTS EVERYTHING EVER!!!*

I just can't help but feel that something more than an exploded head should happen to you when your entire body suddenly becomes hotter than the sun.

Projected SCT respawn time: ??:??

HA! Don't you know, that I'm nigh immune to heat! Wait, which sun was it again? Oh fu- *vaporizes*

Expected respawn time: 2 hours.

EDIT: SH*T I'M LATE! Waita minte, where's errybody?

You see, Quixote, having gone extremely mad after reading King Arthur, killed a worm who blasted us off into space.

Quixote's in Holland now, but for now, the fictionals, the guardians, the Cabal, Mr. A and us Metaguards are floating in space.

[Genndy Oda C.O.G.]

So, who's up for hot chocolate? I've got all sorts.

[The Wild West Pyro]

So, who's up for hot chocolate? I've got all sorts.

Ovaltine with Marshmallows, Please.

And it has to come with 17 Gingerbread Men too, as a snack.

[Genndy Oda C.O.G.]

Sure thing. *pours Pyro his drink and pulls out 17 gingerbread men and a plate out of the Ω-Mallet* Here you go. Anyone else? I can't serve anything carbonated, or stronger than a chocolate malt, but I've got everything else. If you want the stronger stuff, ask someone else.

[The Wild West Pyro]

Sure thing. *pours Pyro his drink and pulls out 17 gingerbread men and a plate out of the Ω-Mallet* Here you go. Anyone else? I can't serve anything carbonated, or stronger than a chocolate malt, but I've got everything else. If you want the stronger stuff, ask someone else.

Thank you, kind sir!

[Sicon112]

*my voice over intercom*

Uh... guys? Might want to watch out... See, one of my experiments just... broke. Now it's funneling a few thousand gallons of Carbon Monoxide into the Coffee Room, so... Uh... Have fun! Bye!

[The Wild West Pyro]

*my voice over intercom*

Uh... guys? Might want to watch out... See, one of my experiments just... broke. Now it's funneling a few thousand gallons of Carbon Monoxide into the Coffee Room, so... Uh... Have fun! Bye!

THAT'S IT!

( One hour later, everyone, including us, Mr. A, the Cabal and the Fictionals are wearing TF2 Pyro Gas Masks)

Right- AIRBLAST!

(Blows the monoxide into an alien ship which smashes into a black hole. The debris hits the Coffee Shop and the log cabin is sent flying from Outer Space into Antartica)

Everyone OK?

( Everyone nods)

Now time to check on Sicon-

( Finds him slumped lifeless, without a gas mask, with a Coffee Cup in his hand.)

DAMMIT!

[Sicon112]

*my voice over intercom*

Uh... guys? Might want to watch out... See, one of my experiments just... broke. Now it's funneling a few thousand gallons of Carbon Monoxide into the Coffee Room, so... Uh... Have fun! Bye!

THAT'S IT!

( One hour later, everyone, including us, Mr. A, the Cabal and the Fictionals are wearing TF2 Pyro Gas Masks)

Right- AIRBLAST!

(Blows the monoxide into an alien ship which smashes into a black hole. The debris hits the Coffee Shop and the log cabin is sent flying from Outer Space into Antartica)

Everyone OK?

( Everyone nods)

Now time to check on Sicon-

( Finds him slumped lifeless, without a gas mask, with a Coffee Cup in his hand.)

DAMMIT!

Dude, I'm a being of living flame right now, and I'm in another dimension. That's a time bomb with one second left on the counter. Bye.

*counter hits zero*

*nothing happens*

Uh, we may be having some technical difficulties here... Just kidding. It's really a gravity well generator I just created.

*Gravity is amplified to a ridiculous extent and they are all crushed*

[The Wild West Pyro]

*my voice over intercom*

Uh... guys? Might want to watch out... See, one of my experiments just... broke. Now it's funneling a few thousand gallons of Carbon Monoxide into the Coffee Room, so... Uh... Have fun! Bye!

THAT'S IT!

( One hour later, everyone, including us, Mr. A, the Cabal and the Fictionals are wearing TF2 Pyro Gas Masks)

Right- AIRBLAST!

(Blows the monoxide into an alien ship which smashes into a black hole. The debris hits the Coffee Shop and the log cabin is sent flying from Outer Space into Antartica)

Everyone OK?

( Everyone nods)

Now time to check on Sicon-

( Finds him slumped lifeless, without a gas mask, with a Coffee Cup in his hand.)

DAMMIT!

Dude, I'm a being of living flame right now, and I'm in another dimension. That's a time bomb with one second left on the counter. Bye.

*counter hits zero*

*nothing happens*

Uh, we may be having some technical difficulties here... Just kidding. It's really a gravity well generator I just created.

*Gravity is amplified to a ridiculous extent and they are all crushed*

Uhhh....my head... oh... we're all OK.

( The Metaguards, Wall Guardians and Fictionals including the Cabal stand up.)

The Coffee Room seems to be underground. Not surprisingly, the huge log cabin is intact, thanks to the shield the Main Coffee Machine provides.

Everyone's OK...nice Morgan, all your wounds have healed.

The only injuries are-

Erik, who's mask has broken and- oh god, poor you- the cracks in his face have burst open.

Lime Man has a gigantic cut on his face, but he seems to be OK by the fact that he's chewing his cigar and not flinching.

As for Mr. A- OHMYGODWHATTHEF**KISTHAT- THE ACTUAL TOP OF HIS HEAD HAS BEEN LITERALLY SLICED OFF.

[Sicon112]

Hmmm, the reset button seems to be glitched. How odd. Let's try again! I'll just have my machine put the bag of holding inside itself, and...


*World collapses*

*reset button*

[Genndy Oda C.O.G.]

So, who's up for hot chocolate? I've got all sorts.

[The Wild West Pyro]

Hmmm, the reset button seems to be glitched. How odd. Let's try again! I'll just have my machine put the bag of holding inside itself, and...


*World collapses*

*reset button*

( The log cabin goes back to Antartica. Everyone is alright. Erik has his mask back, Lime Man has no cut, and Mr. A has the top of his head back. And the entire planet forms back in a fraction of a nanosecond)

Well, that was quick.

[Sicon112]

Hmmm, the reset button seems to be glitched. How odd. Let's try again! I'll just have my machine put the bag of holding inside itself, and...


*World collapses*

*reset button*

( The log cabin goes back to Antartica. Everyone is alright. Erik has his mask back, Lime Man has no cut, and Mr. A has the top of his head back. And the entire planet forms back in a fraction of a nanosecond)

Well, that was quick.

Damn it! No screw up this time!

Wait.... Uh, I'm picking up an army of ravenous polar bears outside charging through the dimensional wall guys... And they have sharks for swords!

What the hell?

[Genndy Oda C.O.G.]

Is this a mallet-level emergency, a Gatling-level emergency, a Mech-level emergency, or a Mallet-Lagann-level emergency?

[Sicon112]

Is this a mallet-level emergency, a Gatling-level emergency, a Mech-level emergency, or a Mallet-Lagann-level emergency?

Who the hell knows? We just make up stuff as we go around here. An watch out for that shark!

*thrown shark attaches to his back*

...Ouch. That looked painful.

[The Wild West Pyro]

Hmmm, the reset button seems to be glitched. How odd. Let's try again! I'll just have my machine put the bag of holding inside itself, and...


*World collapses*

*reset button*

( The log cabin goes back to Antartica. Everyone is alright. Erik has his mask back, Lime Man has no cut, and Mr. A has the top of his head back. And the entire planet forms back in a fraction of a nanosecond)

Well, that was quick.

Damn it! No screw up this time!

Wait.... Uh, I'm picking up an army of ravenous polar bears outside charging through the dimensional wall guys... And they have sharks for swords!

What the hell?

( A figure on a huge mustang lands into the ice)

QUIXOTE?

Quixote: I finally defeated the giants!

( In Holland, all the windmills are wrecked and burning.)

Quixote: NOW TIME TO VANQUISH THESE FIENDS FROM THE ENCHANTER! ATTACK!

( He raises his lance and charges.)

( All the Metaguards and Fictionals, as well as the Cabal, grab guns, sidearms and melee weapons from the Coffee Room armoury. The Wall Guardians prepare their weapons. Mr. A is seen climbing into a white rocket with laser cannons and alien technology)

( Mr. A flies into the sky and starts bombarding the bears with lasers. The Metaguards charge into battle with Don Quixote. The Cabal and the Fictionals form a temporary truce and go into Back to Back Badasses mode.)

( The Cat disappears as a bear tries to hit him, then when the bear's back is turned, the cat attacks him with claws. Poirot fires his Bulldog revolver at the bears. Holmes fires his Webley at the bears. The Witch attacks with spells. Gulliver and Long John Silver attack with flintlocks and cutlasses. Romeo gets out a sword and starts fencing a bear. Juliet pulls out two Berettas and fires away. Adam smashes his fists into the bears and chucks them into the sky. Pan grabs his dagger and starts going hand to hand with the bears.)

Mr. A: FOR ELI AND EVERYONE ELSE.

( He releases the charged shots from the Laser Cannons, wrecking the bears.)

SECOND WAVE INCOMING!

[eli_gone_crazy]

*my voice over intercom*

Uh... guys? Might want to watch out... See, one of my experiments just... broke. Now it's funneling a few thousand gallons of Carbon Monoxide into the Coffee Room, so... Uh... Have fun! Bye!

WHO USES A LAB WITHOUT A CLOSED VENTILATION SYSTEM.... REALLY!?!?!?!

*uses sonic screwdriver to make a gas mask out of random trash*

[Sicon112]

( A figure on a huge mustang lands into the ice)

QUIXOTE?

Quixote: I finally defeated the giants!

( In Holland, all the windmills are wrecked and burning.)

Quixote: NOW TIME TO VANQUISH THESE FIENDS FROM THE ENCHANTER! ATTACK!

( He raises his lance and charges.)

( All the Metaguards and Fictionals, as well as the Cabal, grab guns, sidearms and melee weapons from the Coffee Room armoury. The Wall Guardians prepare their weapons. Mr. A is seen climbing into a white rocket with laser cannons and alien technology)

Did I mention that these bears appear to have energy shields? No? Because they don't. They have disintigrator fields, though, which can work to roughly the same result.

[Sicon112]

*my voice over intercom*

Uh... guys? Might want to watch out... See, one of my experiments just... broke. Now it's funneling a few thousand gallons of Carbon Monoxide into the Coffee Room, so... Uh... Have fun! Bye!

WHO USES A LAB WITHOUT A CLOSED VENTILATION SYSTEM.... REALLY!?!?!?!

*uses sonic screwdriver to make a gas mask out of random trash*

It has a perfectly working ventilation system! It ventilated all of the gas out of my doom fortress and into the Coffee Room dimension, just like it was built to!

Plus, we are now dealing with shark wielding polar bears with disintegration fields.

[The Wild West Pyro]

( A figure on a huge mustang lands into the ice, in front of the bears)

QUIXOTE?

Quixote: I finally defeated the giants!

( In Holland, all the windmills are wrecked and burning.)

Quixote: NOW TIME TO VANQUISH THESE FIENDS FROM THE ENCHANTER! ATTACK!

( He raises his lance and charges.)

( All the Metaguards and Fictionals, as well as the Cabal, grab guns, sidearms and melee weapons from the Coffee Room armoury. The Wall Guardians prepare their weapons. Mr. A is seen climbing into a white rocket with laser cannons and alien technology)

( Mr. A flies into the sky and starts bombarding the bears with lasers. The Metaguards charge into battle with Don Quixote. The Cabal and the Fictionals form a temporary truce and go into Back to Back Badasses mode.)

( The Cat disappears as a bear tries to hit him, then when the bear's back is turned, the cat attacks him with claws. Poirot fires his Bulldog revolver at the bears. Holmes fires his Webley at the bears. The Witch attacks with spells. Gulliver and Long John Silver attack with flintlocks and cutlasses. Romeo gets out a sword and starts fencing a bear. Juliet pulls out two Berettas and fires away. Adam smashes his fists into the bears and chucks them into the sky. Pan grabs his dagger and starts going hand to hand with the bears.)

( Moriarty boxes the bears. Don Juan takes out his broadsword and decapitates some. Morgana rapid fires a bunch of plasma balls. And Erik takes out a Punjab Lasso and a military Sabre. He garrotes a bear, then lassoes one and flings it away. And then he catches a bear with his noose then stabs it.)

Mr. A: FOR ELI AND EVERYONE ELSE.

( He releases the charged shots from the Laser Cannons, wrecking the bears.)

SECOND WAVE INCOMING!

[Sicon112]

*Bears activate disintegration fields and start frying everyone close to them, and then beating them with sharks*

[The Wild West Pyro]

*Bears activate disintegration fields and start frying everyone close to them, and then beating them with sharks*

( Romeo sheathes his sword, and pulls out two Glocks. Everyone else puts up a fight, despite the pain.)

The Most heroic act goes to Mr. A, who jumped out of his burning rocket and this happened.

MR. A: ELI. LEAVE ME. I MAY BE INJURED, BUT I SHALL GO DOWN PROTECTING YOU, DEAREST..FRIEND.

( He pulls out TWO AK47s and dual wields them. Wow.)