The Coffee Room

[eli_gone_crazy]

*my voice over intercom*

Uh... guys? Might want to watch out... See, one of my experiments just... broke. Now it's funneling a few thousand gallons of Carbon Monoxide into the Coffee Room, so... Uh... Have fun! Bye!

WHO USES A LAB WITHOUT A CLOSED VENTILATION SYSTEM.... REALLY!?!?!?!

*uses sonic screwdriver to make a gas mask out of random trash*

It has a perfectly working ventilation system! It ventilated all of the gas out of my doom fortress and into the Coffee Room dimension, just like it was built to!

Plus, we are now dealing with shark wielding polar bears with disintegration fields.

uh... how?? *shrugs*
*master sword*


uh... pyro? *awkward*
HEEYA!!!!

[Sicon112]

*Bears activate disintegration fields and start frying everyone close to them, and then beating them with sharks*

( Romeo sheathes his sword, and pulls out two Glocks. Everyone else puts up a fight, despite the pain.)

The Most heroic act goes to Mr. A, who jumped out of his burning rocket and this happened.

MR. A: ELI. LEAVE ME. I MAY BE INJURED, BUT I SHALL GO DOWN PROTECTING YOU, DEAREST..FRIEND.

( He pulls out TWO AK47s and dual wields them. Wow.)

I hope you realize that Eli is about to brutally murder you... Just saying.

[eli_gone_crazy]

*Bears activate disintegration fields and start frying everyone close to them, and then beating them with sharks*

( Romeo sheathes his sword, and pulls out two Glocks. Everyone else puts up a fight, despite the pain.)

The Most heroic act goes to Mr. A, who jumped out of his burning rocket and this happened.

MR. A: ELI. LEAVE ME. I MAY BE INJURED, BUT I SHALL GO DOWN PROTECTING YOU, DEAREST..FRIEND.

( He pulls out TWO AK47s and dual wields them. Wow.)

PYRO
DUDE
WHO DOES THAT?
SERIOUSLY?

*uses master sword to disarm pyro and sets qara's laser sharks on him*
any last words?

[The Wild West Pyro]

*Bears activate disintegration fields and start frying everyone close to them, and then beating them with sharks*

( Romeo sheathes his sword, and pulls out two Glocks. Everyone else puts up a fight, despite the pain.)

The Most heroic act goes to Mr. A, who jumped out of his burning rocket and this happened.

MR. A: ELI. LEAVE ME. I MAY BE INJURED, BUT I SHALL GO DOWN PROTECTING YOU, DEAREST..FRIEND.

( He pulls out TWO AK47s and dual wields them. Wow.)

I hope you realize that Eli is about to brutally murder you... Just saying.

( Blocks her sword attacks with Half Life Crowbar, then smashes sharks into bits. )

ALRIGHT, SORRY!

( Crowbar snaps in two.)

BACKUP WEAPON.

( Takes out TF2 Fire Axe)

( Shoves Eli away, then teams up with Poirot, who is now dual wielding two 3 Inch Smith and Wesson Model 10s and Quixote, who now has not only armour and a lance, but a visor, his sword and shield, and has covered his plate armour in Titanium)

OPA BADASS STYLE.

( Takes out TF2 Shotgun, and shootdodges while Poirot blasts away, and Quixote skewers ten bears at the same time.)

[Genndy Oda C.O.G.]

Well, I'm in. *converts mallet into Gatling Gun* COFFEE ROOM COMBO BLAST! *Gatling Gun begins firing knives, limes, ice, and lasers*

[Sicon112]

Hey guys, I just discovered the resonance frequency of these bears! I'm broadcasting it of the PA system now!

*all of the bears explode*

Oops! I bumped the dial! Now it's set to the 'Human' setting!

*everyone's heads explode*

[Guyshane]

*Throws nuclear grenade, which promptly explodes*
I care not for you fights. Oh and by the way: Science!!!
*starts shooting lightning from his hands*

[Sicon112]

*Throws nuclear grenade, which promptly explodes*
I care not for you fights. Oh and by the way: Science!!!
*starts shooting lightning from his hands*

Wait, you are screaming about science with an exploded head? Dude, how are you doing that?

[The Wild West Pyro]

Hey guys, I just discovered the resonance frequency of these bears! I'm broadcasting it of the PA system now!

*all of the bears explode*

Oops! I bumped the dial! Now it's set to the 'Human' setting!

*everyone's heads explode*

Hang on:

( Gives everyone their heads back.)

There we go.

RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE.

MERDE!

THE BEARS HAVE- TANKS AND ARTILLERY!

( Mr. A lowers the smoking, silenced, laser sighted, fully automatic fire Sig Sauer P226s he'd been dual wielding)

MR A: RELEASE PROJECT ARK.

( Unveils a huge laser cannon, that is the size of the Empire State Building that resembles WW1'S Big Bertha, but with Alien Technology added.)

MR. A: FIRE!

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

*hugs sharks*

...Why are you looking at my unexploded head like that? I have LASER POWERS, Sicon. I'm basically immune to anything that involves abusing the EM spectrum.

[Guyshane]

*Throws nuclear grenade, which promptly explodes*
I care not for you fights. Oh and by the way: Science!!!
*starts shooting lightning from his hands*

Wait, you are screaming about science with an exploded head? Dude, how are you doing that?

Not human anymore remember. I'm a nuclear elemental. We established this a while back

[Sicon112]

Hey guys, I just discovered the resonance frequency of these bears! I'm broadcasting it of the PA system now!

*all of the bears explode*

Oops! I bumped the dial! Now it's set to the 'Human' setting!

*everyone's heads explode*

Hang on:

( Gives everyone their heads back.)

There we go.

RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE.

MERDE!

THE BEARS HAVE- TANKS AND ARTILLERY!

( Mr. A lowers the smoking, silenced, laser sighted, fully automatic fire Sig Sauer P226s he'd been dual wielding)

MR A: RELEASE PROJECT ARK.

( Unveils a huge laser cannon, that is the size of the Empire State Building that resembles WW1'S Big Bertha, but with Alien Technology added.)

MR. A: FIRE!

But... but... the heads exploded! Where did you get them back!? And how are there still bears if they exploded? Now I'm confused...

[Sicon112]

*hugs sharks*

...Why are you looking at my unexploded head like that? I have LASER POWERS, Sicon. I'm basically immune to anything that involves abusing the EM spectrum.

That isn't the EM spectrum! It's SOUND! Be more sciency!

[eli_gone_crazy]

( Romeo sheathes his sword, and pulls out two Glocks. Everyone else puts up a fight, despite the pain.)

The Most heroic act goes to Mr. A, who jumped out of his burning rocket and this happened.

MR. A: ELI. LEAVE ME. I MAY BE INJURED, BUT I SHALL GO DOWN PROTECTING YOU, DEAREST..FRIEND.

( He pulls out TWO AK47s and dual wields them. Wow.)

I hope you realize that Eli is about to brutally murder you... Just saying.

( Blocks her sword attacks with Half Life Crowbar)

I WILL BE FINE.

( Shoves her away, then teams up with Poirot, who is now dual wielding two 3 Inch Smith and Wesson Model 10s and Quixote, who now has not only armour and a lance, but a visor, his sword and shield, and has covered his plate armour in Titanium)

OPA BADASS STYLE.

( Takes out TF2 Shotgun, and shootdodges while Poirot blasts away, and Quixote skewers ten bears at the same time.)

*sigh*
fine, be that way.
*steals scarab's ice wand*
*freezes pyro*
*sets cthulhu, the zombie fish monster, and bob the dragon on the evil little troll*

[The Wild West Pyro]

*hugs sharks*

...Why are you looking at my unexploded head like that? I have LASER POWERS, Sicon. I'm basically immune to anything that involves abusing the EM spectrum.

Hang on a second-

( Melts his ice cube prison with Hadouken)

( Morgan looks up, with her eyes glowing with white light, and hypnotizes the sharks. The sharks join our side, along with Cthulhu, Zombie Fish and Bob the Dragon, as well as the Evil Little Troll. The Ragtag Band of Misfits are complete. Then the TF2 Mercenaries from RED and BLU Join as well.)

Mr. A: SCREW YOU, MORGAN, YOU RUINED MY CHANCES TO WRECK THE BEARS!

( He throws a tantrum. Awkward silence.)

Meanwhile the Bears reveal their new weapon: Ice Blades.

[Sicon112]

Meanwhile the Bears reveal their new weapon: Ice SHARK Blades.

Fix'd.

[Guyshane]

*hugs sharks*

...Why are you looking at my unexploded head like that? I have LASER POWERS, Sicon. I'm basically immune to anything that involves abusing the EM spectrum.

Hang on a second-

( Melts his ice cube prison with Hadouken)

( Morgan looks up, with her eyes glowing with white light, and hypnotizes the sharks. The sharks join our side, along with Cthulhu, Zombie Fish and Bob the Dragon, as well as the Evil Little Troll. The Ragtag Band of Misfits are complete. Then the TF2 Mercenaries from RED and BLU Join as well.)

Mr. A: SCREW YOU, MORGAN, YOU RUINED MY CHANCES TO WRECK THE BEARS!

( He throws a tantrum. Awkward silence.)

Meanwhile the Bears reveal their new weapon: Ice Blades.

No.............

[eli_gone_crazy]

*hugs sharks*

...Why are you looking at my unexploded head like that? I have LASER POWERS, Sicon. I'm basically immune to anything that involves abusing the EM spectrum.

Hang on a second-

( Melts his ice cube prison with Hadouken)

( Morgan looks up, with her eyes glowing with white light, and hypnotizes the sharks. The sharks join our side, along with Cthulhu, Zombie Fish and Bob the Dragon, as well as the Evil Little Troll. The Ragtag Band of Misfits are complete. Then the TF2 Mercenaries from RED and BLU Join as well.)

Mr. A: SCREW YOU, MORGAN, YOU RUINED MY CHANCES TO WRECK THE BEARS!

( He throws a tantrum. Awkward silence.)

Meanwhile the Bears reveal their new weapon: Ice Blades.

No.............

thx shane

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

*hugs sharks*

...Why are you looking at my unexploded head like that? I have LASER POWERS, Sicon. I'm basically immune to anything that involves abusing the EM spectrum.

That isn't the EM spectrum! It's SOUND! Be more sciency!

You're telling ME to be more science-y when you forget that SOUND travels in WAVES?
I abuse like so: lasers --> light --> EM spectrum --> wave motion --> soundwaves

*shark-lasers Sicon while he's regretting challenging my scienciness*

[Sicon112]

*hugs sharks*

...Why are you looking at my unexploded head like that? I have LASER POWERS, Sicon. I'm basically immune to anything that involves abusing the EM spectrum.

That isn't the EM spectrum! It's SOUND! Be more sciency!

You're telling ME to be more science-y when you forget that SOUND travels in WAVES?
I abuse like so: lasers --> light --> EM spectrum --> wave motion --> soundwaves

*shark-lasers Sicon while he's regretting challenging my scienciness*

No. NO. It does not work that way! THAT IS NOT HOW IT GOES! PERIOD!! Also, I still have defenses in my doom fortress. Just for trying, though, I'm trapping you in this handy black hole...

*Black hole appears on top of her*

See, light can't escape a black hole. That's why it's, you know, BLACK. EM spectrum = light. You lose. SCIENCE!

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

*clogs black hole with infinite amount of lasers*

Really, Si? That was too easy. Infinite laser ability vs. infinite laser absorption = ...I still have lasers left.

Also, my artificially intelligent lasers have convinced about half your doom fortress's defenses to turn against you. There's still the other half, but... we're working on them.

FAKE!SCIENCE!

[The Wild West Pyro]

Meanwhile the Bears reveal their new weapon: Ice SHARK Blades.

Fix'd.

( The Fictionals and Metaguards charge.)

( Mr. A attacks with his new Laser Cannon, which vaporizes half of the bears.)

( The TF2 Mercenaries attack as well. The RED Scout kills a bear in two shots with the Scattergun, the BLU Scout does the same with the Baby Face's Blaster. The RED Soldier, ubered by the RED Medic's Quick Fix, takes out a bunch of bears with his Rocket Launcher. The BLU Soldier rocket jumps with the Direct Hit and destroys several bears. The RED Pyro burns a bunch of bears with the Flamethrower. The BLU Pyro kills some more with the Degreaser.

(The RED Demoman blows bears up with the Stickybomb Launcher, while the BLU Demoman sends more bears flying with the Scottish Resistance. The RED Heavy mows down bears with his Minigun. The BLU Heavy is ubered with the BLU Medic's Medigun and slows down bears with Natascha. The RED Engineer builds a Level 3 Sentry Gun with his Wrench and cracks heads with the melee weapon at the same time. The BLU Engineer builds a Level 2 Sentry Gun, then makes bears bleed with his Southern Hospitality.)

(The RED Sniper headshots bears with his Sniper Rifle, and the BLU Sniper makes bears literally lose their heads with the Hitman's Heatmaker. The RED and BLU Spy take out their Butterfly Knives and backstab bears, instantly killing them.)

MR. A: MERCENARIES-

RED Scout: Yeah?

MR. A: PAYLOAD.

BLU Spy: OK.

( Two minutes later, the bears are nuked with TF2 Payload bombs.)

[eli_gone_crazy]

That isn't the EM spectrum! It's SOUND! Be more sciency!

You're telling ME to be more science-y when you forget that SOUND travels in WAVES?
I abuse like so: lasers --> light --> EM spectrum --> wave motion --> soundwaves

*shark-lasers Sicon while he's regretting challenging my scienciness*

No. NO. It does not work that way! THAT IS NOT HOW IT GOES! PERIOD!! Also, I still have defenses in my doom fortress. Just for trying, though, I'm trapping you in this handy black hole...

*Black hole appears on top of her*

See, light can't escape a black hole. That's why it's, you know, BLACK. EM spectrum = light. You lose. SCIENCE!

explain how you are controlling the black hole from consuming everything... including you and the doom fortress.

[Sicon112]

*clogs black hole with infinite amount of lasers*

Really, Si? That was too easy. Infinite laser ability vs. infinite laser absorption = ...I still have lasers left.

Also, my artificially intelligent lasers have convinced about half your doom fortress's defenses to turn against you. There's still the other half, but... we're working on them.

FAKE!SCIENCE!

That's a fallacy! You can't ever clog it, and it can't ever absorb it all! You cannot defeat me with a mockery of logic!

Plus, my doom fortress is STILL inaccessible to you AND your lasers.

[Sicon112]

explain how you are controlling the black hole from consuming everything... including you and the doom fortress.

I'm not. It IS consuming everything. I'm just on another level of existence talking through a PA system.