The Coffee Room

[Victin]

*rolls eyes*
*kills victin with the master sword*

So, SOS, how about that chocolate?

*ressurects as a giant*

YOU'RE GROUNDED!!!

*puts the universe over eli*

*ducks*
*universe crashes*
you broke it.

*picks up another universe, puts it over eli*

[Scarab]

*ducks*
*universe crashes*
you broke it.
*picks up another universe, puts it over eli*

Dudes! Will you STOP messing around with all the universes? I just got them all organized in order of their relative proximity to judgement day! Now we'll have to start all over again D:

[Victin]

*ducks*
*universe crashes*
you broke it.
*picks up another universe, puts it over eli*

Dudes! Will you STOP messing around with all the universes? I just got them all organized in order of their relative proximity to judgement day! Now we'll have to start all over again D:

Sorry Scarab
*feels bad because I'm half-Scarab now*
I'll help you!
*helps Scarab*

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

Dudes! Will you STOP messing around with all the universes? I just got them all organized in order of their relative proximity to judgement day! Now we'll have to start all over again D:

Dammit, Scarab, you KNOW we were supposed to alphabetize the universes!
*sets a laser trap for anyone who attempts to organize the universes any way but alphabetically*

[Scarab]

Dammit, Scarab, you KNOW we were supposed to alphabetize the universes!
*sets a laser trap for anyone who attempts to organize the universes any way but alphabetically*

Awww but... it's just so much more convenient for the temporal physicists if we organize them according to how close they are to World War Three!

See, if you go alphabetically you have no way to classify them in order of destructive capabilities, and you end up with saaay Earth A, with it's hyper advanced time travel, next to universe Beta Sixteen where they're still in the feudal era and the nuclear energy spreading from A wipes them out! It's just no conductive to their continued existence!

[Victin]

Dammit, Scarab, you KNOW we were supposed to alphabetize the universes!
*sets a laser trap for anyone who attempts to organize the universes any way but alphabetically*

Awwew but... it's just so much more convenient for the temporal physicists if we organize them according to how close they are to World War Three!

See, if you go alphabetically you have no way to classify them in order of destructive capabilities, and you end up with saaay Earth A, with it's hyper advanced time travel, next to universe Beta Sixteen where they're still in the feudal era and the nuclear energy spreading from A wipes them out! It's just no conductive to their continued existence!

So I'm uselessly putting them in alphabetical order?

[Scarab]

Dammit, Scarab, you KNOW we were supposed to alphabetize the universes!
*sets a laser trap for anyone who attempts to organize the universes any way but alphabetically*

Awwew but... it's just so much more convenient for the temporal physicists if we organize them according to how close they are to World War Three!

See, if you go alphabetically you have no way to classify them in order of destructive capabilities, and you end up with saaay Earth A, with it's hyper advanced time travel, next to universe Beta Sixteen where they're still in the feudal era and the nuclear energy spreading from A wipes them out! It's just no conductive to their continued existence!

So I'm uselessly putting them in alphabetical order?

Yes! Stop! You're DOOMING Universe Beta Sixteen! And the less said about what you just did to Alpha Centauri BXZ the better!

[S_o_S]

... Can I just get a hot chocolate now?

*the choccolate is poisoned*

SURE!

*rolls eyes*
*kills victin with the master sword*

So, SOS, how about that chocolate?

*drinks*

I feel funny. *collapses*

[Victin]

*the choccolate is poisoned*

SURE!

*rolls eyes*
*kills victin with the master sword*

So, SOS, how about that chocolate?

*drinks*

I feel funny. *collapses*

*watches S_o_S become his own universe, the size of a mug of coffee; all he has inside him is an empty void with an white sphere on the center*
I WANNA PLAY WITH S_o_S!
I WANNA CONTROL THE UNIVERSE!
*puppy eyes* Can I haz universe?

[Scarab]

I WANNA PLAY WITH S_o_S!
I WANNA CONTROL THE UNIVERSE!
*puppy eyes* Can I haz universe?

*Snatches the universe away* No! it can go in the sequence with all the rest. Hm... now then... let's see, pretty pre-volcanic to me, nothing but a star... think we can safely put this next to Corona X...

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

Don't worry, Scarab, all the most destructive universes begin with punctuation anyway, and that officially comes before letters in alphabetization. Though I think I'm going to need some further consultation to remember if " comes before or after &.

Also, WW3? Aren't we like... ten apocalypses past that by now?

[Scarab]

Don't worry, Scarab, all the most destructive universes begin with punctuation anyway, and that officially comes before letters in alphabetization. Though I think I'm going to need some further consultation to remember if " comes before or after &.
Also, WW3? Aren't we like... ten apocalypses past that by now?

Oh, good . Yeah that ought to make things simpler. And & comes first, I believe; we try to discoverage using the " symbol in universal names at all, as such uses undermine it's more specific grammatical function.

And yeah, we are, but it DOES work well as a baseline, since pretty much all planets in every possible timeline have a WW3 at some point or another whereas not everyone has, say, the alien invasion of 2093 or a Swine Flu pandemic of 2010.

[Victin]

I WANNA PLAY WITH S_o_S!
I WANNA CONTROL THE UNIVERSE!
*puppy eyes* Can I haz universe?

*Snatches the universe away* No! it can go in the sequence with all the rest. Hm... now then... let's see, pretty pre-volcanic to me, nothing but a star... think we can safely put this next to Corona X...

*ignores Scarab and plays with S_o_S*
My white world has one cyan person! I'll put one red person and watch them fight!
*watches cyan and red person fight*

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

And & comes first, I believe; we try to discoverage using the " symbol in universal names at all, as such uses undermine it's more specific grammatical function.

You mean you've never heard of Universe ".?"aeaiu890?
That's not good... especially considering it's right behind you!
RUN!

[S_o_S]

I WANNA PLAY WITH S_o_S!
I WANNA CONTROL THE UNIVERSE!
*puppy eyes* Can I haz universe?

*Snatches the universe away* No! it can go in the sequence with all the rest. Hm... now then... let's see, pretty pre-volcanic to me, nothing but a star... think we can safely put this next to Corona X...

*ignores Scarab and plays with S_o_S*
My white world has one cyan person! I'll put one red person and watch them fight!
*watches cyan and red person fight*

So I'm a universe now? The things that happen when I leave for a few hours...

[The Wild West Pyro]

( Meanwhile back in the log cabin that is the Coffee Room....)

( Fictionals attacking Cthulhu)

Me: ( Desperately trying to escape Cthulhu's stomp) GAAAAH! SOMEBODY HELP! ( Smashes his leg with Fire Axe over and over.)

Quixote: ALL VALIANT METAGUARD KNIGHTS, HELP US DEFEAT THIS CREATURE. IT IS THE ENCHANTER'S ULTIMATE FORM!

( Charges with Lance at Cthulhu.)

Quixote: THROUGHOUT MY ADVENTURES IN LA MANCHA, YOU HAVE CAUSED ME PAIN AND SUFFERING! YOU SHALL PAY!

[Guyshane]

And now for something entirely different.

[Scarab]

And now for something entirely different.

...Why does that guy appear to be sitting at a desk in the middle of a field?

[The Wild West Pyro]

And now for something entirely different.

...Why does that guy appear to be sitting at a desk in the middle of a field?

It's Monty Python, anything can happen.

( Quixote stands on top of Cthulhu.)

Quixote: THE BEAST HAS BEEN VANQUISHED!

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

Dammit, Cleese is in the coffee room?
Wait a minute. The Pythons operate on insane, absurd randomness. The Coffee Room ALSO operates on insane, absurd randomness.
Together, they cancel each other out. This universe has been logic bombed. Please make your way to the nearest AU until the dust settles.

Estimated universe respawn time: ".?"aeaiu890 hours.

[Scarab]

Dammit, Cleese is in the coffee room?
Wait a minute. The Pythons operate on insane, absurd randomness. The Coffee Room ALSO operates on insane, absurd randomness.
Together, they cancel each other out. This universe has been logic bombed. Please make your way to the nearest AU until the dust settles.
Estimated universe respawn time: ".?"aeaiu890 hours.

What the- damn, somebody actually BROKE the coffee room? Damn it, Shane your Cleese broke the coffee room! How the HELL did you manage to do that? Important stuff is in here, the universes are still half reorganized, I need to get -

*Large fragment of reality warps out of existence right in front of her*

...Okay maybe not. Evacuate!

[eli_gone_crazy]

*uses triforce to reset coffee room*
you may direct your thanks/cries for mercy here.

[The Wild West Pyro]

*uses triforce to reset coffee room*
you may direct your thanks/cries for mercy here.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

( The fictionals and Metaguards breathe a sigh of relief as Cleese is " forcibly evicted" by Quixote.)

Quixote: I WILL NOW DUEL WITH THIS KNAVE.

( He draws his sword. Then gives Cleese the Holy Mackeral)

Quixote: AND NOW YOU MUST DEFEAT ME, DON QUIXOTE, KNIGHT OF THE LONG FACE, THE MIGHTIEST KNIGHT IN ALL OF SPAIN, WITH A FISH!

Soon:

( Cleese chops off Quixote's arm)

Quixote: It is but a minor scratch.

( Cleese chops off Quixote's other arm)

Quixote: I MAY HAVE NO ARMS, BUT US KNIGHT ERRANTS ARE INVINCIBLE!\

( Cleese gets his face sprayed with blood. Then Quixote gets his legs chopped off. Cleese drops the fish and walks out of the Coffee Shop.)

Quixote: COME BACK HERE, YOU COWARDLY ROGUE! I'LL BITE ALL YOUR ARMS OFF! AND YOUR LEGS! AND YOUR SPINE! AND YOUR PRIVATES TOO!

[Guyshane]

Right.....Victin did it

[Genndy Oda C.O.G.]

Drat! There was sanity in the Coffee Room, and I wasn't there to relish in it! Oh, and why is John Cleese still here?