The Coffee Room

[Genndy Oda C.O.G.]

...What happened?

[The Finch]

...What happened?

What I say every time I come here.

Oh, and I am still trapped in the ice, I think.

[Victin]

...What happened?

What I say every time I come here.

Oh, and I am still trapped in the ice, I think.

*gets close to Finch*

I upgrade my ability to blow my head off.

*blows whole body up by turning matter into energy*

[Scarab]

...What happened?

What I say every time I come here.
Oh, and I am still trapped in the ice, I think.

*Walks in* ....I'm sorry has somebody in here been manipulating that particular element when I am NOT present? What, are you all just TRYING to lose limbs or something?

*Waits for the coffee room reset to kick in and for Finch to reappear... yep, STILL frozen. Snaps fingers, immediately freeing everyone and everything trapped in ice, sucking every fragment and particle of ice crystal, condensation and prickling cold back into the ice wand. Picks up The Finch and puts him back on his feet.*

I'll get us some hot chocolate, you need it. Leave the cool stuff to ME, folks.

[The Finch]

Thank you Scarab.

(Sips)

Wait, what is this squirmy white thing doing in my hot chocolate?

[Scarab]

Thank you Scarab.
(Sips)
Wait, what is this squirmy white thing doing in my hot chocolate?

...What?

*Cautiously peers into the mug... which promptly explodes outwards into a giant silver cross between a bug and a rodent. As does hers. And numerous containers along the back of the bar. Hot chocolate EVERYWHERE.*

Oh, sweet, merciful CRUD it's a silverfish.

[Victin]

Thank you Scarab.
(Sips)
Wait, what is this squirmy white thing doing in my hot chocolate?

...What?

*Cautiously peers into the mug... which promptly explodes outwards into a giant silver cross between a bug and a rodent. As does hers. And numerous containers along the back of the bar. Hot chocolate EVERYWHERE.*

Oh, sweet, merciful CRUD it's a silverfish.

I'll take care of it.

*smashes silverfish*

*walls, floor and ceiling starts to become silverfish*

Crap... I should've been genre sawwy

[Scarab]

I'll take care of it.
*smashes silverfish*
*walls, floor and ceiling starts to become silverfish*
Crap... I should've been genre sawwy

...No, seriously, Victin, you're a TROPER, how did you NOT see that coming? *Starts randomly shooting at the things* Okay coffeeroom invasion number three hundred and six, if there's anybody NOT attacking silverfish with impunity, get here quick!

[Victin]

I'll take care of it.
*smashes silverfish*
*walls, floor and ceiling starts to become silverfish*
Crap... I should've been genre sawwy

...No, seriously, Victin, you're a TROPER, how did you NOT see that coming? *Starts randomly shooting at the things* Okay coffeeroom invasion number three hundred and six, if there's anybody NOT attacking silverfish with impunity, get here quick!

I saw it coming actually. I just didn't thought it really was going to happen. Anyways,

YOU FROZE MY LEGS! NOW HELP ME!

My flamethrower is too big to use it on myself. I think I'll make a new one.

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

*neuralyzes Silverfish and convinces them that they want to go into hibernation*

OH! I KNOW HOW TO SOLVE *MY* PROBLEM, TOO, NOW!

*neuralyzes CAUSALITY ITSELF and convinces it that Mimsy is a puppy, thereby making Mimsy actually a puppy*

*snuggles Mimsy SO MUCH*

That's better.

[Scarab]

*neuralyzes Silverfish and convinces them that they want to go into hibernation*
OH! I KNOW HOW TO SOLVE *MY* PROBLEM, TOO, NOW!
*neuralyzes CAUSALITY ITSELF and convinces it that Mimsy is a puppy, thereby making Mimsy actually a puppy*
*snuggles Mimsy SO MUCH*
That's better.

*Starts unfreezing Victin. Again.* I swear I only have THIS bad an aim when you're around, Qara.

D'aww Mimsy is a puppy now! *Joins Qara in petting the puppy* Dudem that brain manipulation thing is the BEST thing ever.

[Victin]

*neuralyzes Silverfish and convinces them that they want to go into hibernation*
OH! I KNOW HOW TO SOLVE *MY* PROBLEM, TOO, NOW!
*neuralyzes CAUSALITY ITSELF and convinces it that Mimsy is a puppy, thereby making Mimsy actually a puppy*
*snuggles Mimsy SO MUCH*
That's better.

*Starts unfreezing Victin. Again.* I swear I only have THIS bad an aim when you're around, Qara.

D'aww Mimsy is a puppy now! *Joins Qara in petting the puppy* Dudem that brain manipulation thing is the BEST thing ever.

Well, if Mimsy stops being a puppy by any means, here, take this one.

*builds a puppy out of the molten ice Scarab left in the ground*

[Genndy Oda C.O.G.]

<sigh> This is why I am the one who usually makes the hot chocolate.

[Scarab]

<sigh> This is why I am the one who usually makes the hot chocolate.

Yeah. Yours doesn't spawn silverfish v.v

Well, if Mimsy stops being a puppy by any means, here, take this one.
*builds a puppy out of the molten ice Scarab left in the ground*

It's not as cuddly as the real Puppymimsy, but it's a nice gesture all the same *pets, um... ice puppy.*

[Victin]

<sigh> This is why I am the one who usually makes the hot chocolate.

Yeah. Yours doesn't spawn silverfish v.v

Well, if Mimsy stops being a puppy by any means, here, take this one.
*builds a puppy out of the molten ice Scarab left in the ground*

It's not as cuddly as the real Puppymimsy, but it's a nice gesture all the same *pets, um... ice puppy.*

It was an water puppy before you touched it, but I like it this way. Actually... I was thinking about building a cute critter factory, watcha do ya think?

[AMimsyBorogove]

You... do realize I'm also immune to causality manipulations of that sort, right? My immunity isn't on a level of cause and effect. It's on the even higher level of "concepts." If you attempt to introduce a new concept to my existence, by any means, it won't work. I'll return instantly to my former state, thanks to the regenerative powers of the Hourai Elixir. The concept of death has been removed from my existence, and, as part of my immortality, I'm also immune to new concepts being added back again. That includes, sadly, being a puppy.

...

But, if it helps, I can always just do this. *snaps fingers and fires the cross-dimensional pillow-kitten cannon at Qara and Scarab*

[Scarab]

You... do realize I'm also immune to causality manipulations of that sort, right? My immunity isn't on a level of cause and effect. It's on the even higher level of "concepts." If you attempt to introduce a new concept to my existence, by any means, it won't work. I'll return instantly to my former state, thanks to the regenerative powers of the Hourai Elixir. The concept of death has been removed from my existence, and, as part of my immortality, I'm also immune to new concepts being added back again. That includes, sadly, being a puppy.

...

But, if it helps, I can always just do this. *snaps fingers and fires the cross-dimensional pillow-kitten cannon at Qara and Scarab*

*Is subsumed in fluffy, adorable, high-impact kittiness* IS THIS HEAVEN OR HELL?!

*Removes kittens, begins petting one.*

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

*cuddles all the kittens, before remembering her main objectives*

*neuralyzes the Hourai Elixir, convincing it that its nature is such that Mimsy is, and always has been, an EPICALLY ADORABLE PUPPY*

*cuddles the puppymimsy*

[Scarab]

*cuddles all the kittens, before remembering her main objectives*

*neuralyzes the Hourai Elixir, convincing it that its nature is such that Mimsy is, and always has been, an EPICALLY ADORABLE PUPPY*

*cuddles the puppymimsy*

*Watches this battle of wills with awe, and a cuddly kitten in her lap.*

*Realises in her excitement, she has accidentally frozen the kitten.*

...Bugger. Not again. I lose more pets this way

[Victin]

*cuddles all the kittens, before remembering her main objectives*

*neuralyzes the Hourai Elixir, convincing it that its nature is such that Mimsy is, and always has been, an EPICALLY ADORABLE PUPPY*

*cuddles the puppymimsy*

*Watches this battle of wills with awe, and a cuddly kitten in her lap.*

*Realises in her excitement, she has accidentally frozen the kitten.*

...Bugger. Not again. I lose more pets this way

*ice puppy starts to melt, but he goes close to Scarab and gets in shape again*

*[Victin] picks up kitten cannon*

*[Victin] starts to practice reverse engineering on it*

[Scarab]

*ice puppy starts to melt, but he goes close to Scarab and gets in shape again*

*[Victin] picks up kitten cannon*

*[Victin] starts to practice reverse engineering on it*

*Picks up puppy* Hmmm so provided I keep the puppy close, I can keep it... I WILL HUG IT FOREVER! *Hugs!*

[Victin]

*ice puppy starts to melt, but he goes close to Scarab and gets in shape again*

*[Victin] picks up kitten cannon*

*[Victin] starts to practice reverse engineering on it*

*Picks up puppy* Hmmm so provided I keep the puppy close, I can keep it... I WILL HUG IT FOREVER! *Hugs!*

*ice puppy starts to become an ice wolf cub*

*[Victin] finishes reverse engineering kitten-cannon and starts to build a puppy-cannon*

[Genndy Oda C.O.G.]

So, it's a batte of cuteness, eh? *converts Ω-Mallet into a cannon* OWL LAUNCHER 321205! GO! *begins firing baby owls at everyone*

[Victin]

So, it's a batte of cuteness, eh? *converts Ω-Mallet into a cannon* OWL LAUNCHER 321205! GO! *begins firing baby owls at everyone*

*finishes puppy-cannon*

I finished it with no prob-AAAAAAA!

*dead baby owls starts hitting everyone*

TAKE THIS YOUR MONSTER!

*shoots cute living puppies at Genndy*

[Genndy Oda C.O.G.]

What the- DEAD‽ *checks ammo* Drat! <to mallet> Genndice! Re-obtain Owl Launcher ammo from somewhere where baby owls are living. Also, reduce velocity by 37% *waits*