The Coffee Room

[The Wild West Pyro]

Anyway....

I guess, since it's nice and empty, I'll live here now.

( Goes up to his room and sleeps)

[JRPictures]

You know that living in the Coffee Room will doom your life forever.

Hell even the owner will destroy you.

THIS IS THE COFFEE ROOM. You should leave before you permanently live here.

[The Wild West Pyro]

Wait.......

(LEAVES. WITH ALL OF HIS STUFF. IMMEDIATELY)

[IslaKariese]

Too late.

[The Wild West Pyro]

Too late.

AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGH

( DIES. FOR REAL. IN A MASSIVE EXPLOSION)

( Wakes up)

Where the heck am I?

( Sees Heaven)

YES!!!!!!!!!!!

[IslaKariese]

*grabs a bright red rope hanging from the sky*

Oh, no you don't. Anyone associated with the Coffee Room is immediately detoured to the Basement.

*pulls, turning everything upside down and dumping Pyro out*

[The Wild West Pyro]

*grabs a bright red rope hanging from the sky*

Oh, no you don't. Anyone associated with the Coffee Room is immediately detoured to the Basement.

*pulls, turning everything upside down and dumping Pyro out*

AAAAAAGH. YOU SPOILSPORTS. BUT I AM NOT DONE YET.

( SMASHES THROUGH THE FLOOR AND OUT OF THE COFFEE ROOM IN A FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT THAT IS SO FAST IT MAKES THE SPEED OF LIGHT LOOK LIKE ITS CRAWLING 1930s ROLLS ROYCE PHANTOM THAT IS BLACK AND HAS PAINTED ORANGE FLAMES DOWN THE SIDES AND IS LITERALLY ON FIRE.)

[narrativedilettante]

Okay, you know what? I'm co-owner here now, and I'm going to assert myself.

*Enters Coffee Room*

Pryo, that kind of language is unacceptable in my establishment. Edit your post before I convince a mod to delete it altogether.

*sits behind counter, starts making Green Stuff*

[Sicon112]

*pulls lever as a whirring sound begins*

That was probably a bad place to stand, Narradilly, considering that I turned that entire area into a massive tesla coil while no one was paying attention. Oh well.

*tesla coil'd*

Yes I know I'm trying to kill someone inside a reality that makes them functionally immortal. When has that stopped me before?

[The Wild West Pyro]

( Speeding out of Coffee Room in flaming Rolls Royce Phantom, 1930s edition, leaving a massive trail of fire behind)

BYE BYE!!!!!!!!

And that was the last thing they heard of Pyro, before his car hit a bridge and blew up in midair.

His last words were " VIVA LA METAGUARDS!"

Then he died. With his Garand and lasso beside him, the bits left of his revolver, his favourite books in his hands and the gas mask burnt INTO HIS FACE. And the ruins of the car all around him, burning.

[narrativedilettante]

Teehee, electricity tickles!

[The Wild West Pyro]

Would anyone like to come and scrape what's left of me off the ground?

Oh, and, BURY ME WITH MY STUFF.

[Sicon112]

Teehee, electricity tickles!

...

*over loudspeakers*

Paging Qara, could you please come over towards the bar counter?

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

*reaches out toward sparking electricity*

*sparks leap toward my hands, fusing into a majestic electric!laser*

*rolls up sleeves*

All right! Looks like we're in business.

[Sicon112]

MUHAHAHAHA- erm... That's nice, Qara. Now could you please put this blindfold on? We are going to play a game now.

It's kind of like "Pin the Tail on the Donkey", except it involves lasers and electric, zappy death instead of farm animals.

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

*puts on blindfold*

*massive laserbolts of electricity crackle from my fingers*

Wait, you ARE immune to this stuff yourself, right? Because otherwise I think the game's going to end really fast.

[Sicon112]

Oh don't worry, I've never even been here. This is just a phantasmal copy of me that will shatter in a few seconds, right after I just push this big red button here...

*pushes*

*floor under Qara begins to spin in place at ridiculous speeds*

Have fun, guys!

[Victin]

*lightning hits me*

Hahaha-narra is right-hahahahaha-eletricit-hahaha-tickl-hahahah-tickles-hahahahahaha-Okay, st-hahahah-sto-hahahaha-STOP!!!

*turns into rubber*

... Whoa... That's new... Oh, whatever.

*casts duplication spell on Qara*

*casts give puppy on Qara*

*casts eletricity-proofness on puppy*

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

*casts duplication spell on Qara*

I'm already a duplicate of my clone. Your spell is invalid.

*spins*

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE

*electricity-spams*

[Guyshane]

*nukes Qara*

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

As the nuke approaches me, it is gradually transformed, slowly but surely turning into radioactivity!lasers, which finally arc gracefully into my extended, waiting, palm.

Still spinning, I shift my weight a little, rebalancing the lasers I'm currently wielding.

*distant sound of thunder crashing*

All right... nuke!lasers in my right hand, electricity in my left. Who's next?

*burns a rapidly-decaying radioactive hole in the side of the wall*

[JackAlsworth]

*continues being a ghost*

[eli_gone_crazy]

I'd unghost you Jack. but Sicon'd just murder you in cold blood again...


on second thought.... *revives Jack*

[Sicon112]

I'd unghost you Jack. but Sicon'd just murder you in cold blood again...


on second thought.... *revives Jack*

Hi Jack. Welcome back to life.

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

Hey, Jack, are you immune to electric sho-- whoops, too late.

WHEEEEE!