The Coffee Room

[The Wild West Pyro]

I don't think you need to worry Pyro. Just sit back and watch as they all get curbstomped in a Monty Oum-directed fight scene.

OK.

[eli_gone_crazy]

Or, you know, you could stab Sicon.

I bet you can't stab him, no matter what you do. ?

[The Wild West Pyro]

Or, you know, you could stab Sicon.

I bet you can't stab him, no matter what you do. ?

Ahem, he's a master swordsman. And he has a bulletproof lab coat.

The last ninja who tried to kill him was locked in the doom fortress dungeon and forced to listen to horrible opera music for eternity.

[Sicon112]

>.>

<.<

No sounds are coming out of my fortress. None at all.

*mutter*I need to fix the soundproofing*mutter*

[The Wild West Pyro]

>.>

<.<

No sounds are coming out of my fortress. None at all.

*mutter*I need to fix the soundproofing*mutter*

I still hear screaming and cursing in Japanese.

[eli_gone_crazy]

You should go see if you can save them.
There's still time, if you hurry.

[The Wild West Pyro]

You should go see if you can save them.
There's still time, if you hurry.

OK.

*Ignores Electronic Crossbows and Wagner being played backwards*

Hang on, mate, we'll get you out of here-the Samurai are going to attack your village anytime soon.

[Sicon112]

*stares at pyro*

I suggest you take a moment to think about what you just said you were going to do.

[eli_gone_crazy]

He's trying to scare you from your destiny. He knows that you will grow powerful enough to defeat him. Don't let him persuade you. Think of the lives you can save!

[JRPictures]

He's trying to scare you from your destiny. He knows that you will grow powerful enough to defeat him. Don't let him persuade you. Think of the lives you can save!

Uh huh. right.

*runs around in giant mecha* Destiny is something I doubt would exist in the Coffee Room.

[Victin]

He's trying to scare you from your destiny. He knows that you will grow powerful enough to defeat him. Don't let him persuade you. Think of the lives you can save!

Uh huh. right.

*runs around in giant mecha* Destiny is something I doubt would exist in the Coffee Room.

If Destiny already knows everything that will happen, I wonder if that isn't Sicon.

[The Wild West Pyro]

He's trying to scare you from your destiny. He knows that you will grow powerful enough to defeat him. Don't let him persuade you. Think of the lives you can save!

*Ninjas, knights, and drunk hobos in a free-for-all against Sicon's rapidly dwindling guards*

It's you and me, Sicon! Let's fight like gentlemen.

[Sicon112]

:3

Hello pyro. I would like to introduce you to a guy I know. His name is defeat.

You see, I have no guards. The moment you considered attacking my fortress, I started pumping airborne hallucinogens into the coffee room chambers through a one way dimensional gate. The drug leaves you vulnerable to suggestion, so I then used my dimensional slingshot to forcibly launch a set of combat droids clothed in some uniforms that your mind read as guard uniforms, ninja uniforms, knight uniforms, and the tattered rags of hobos. Your addled brain filled in the rest for me as they fought a free for all all around you. All of the droids have level 3 ablative plating, so you can burn them as much as you want, and even if you cause more damage that orbital reentry, their machinery won't even be scratched. All of those guards you thought fell? They are getting up right behind you right now. Furthermore, the direction you were running to get to my fortress? You seem to have forgotten that this base isn't even on your plane of existence, and the only way you can reach it is the door to the back room, which is now completely cut off from you. Have fun dealing with the flame-proof robot army all around you.

[AMimsyBorogove]

Don't worry, Pyro! I'll save you! *Summons and charges wave motion arm cannon*

Satella Anima: SEVENTH HEAVEN!

*eradicates the robots, the area, and Pyro in a massive blast of golden light.*

...Oops. Maybe I used too much power? Still getting used to this thing.

[Sicon112]

Well, that's no fun. Give me a second...

*walks up to Mimsy in the past*

Here take this red button and press it quick!

[The Wild West Pyro]

YOU FOOLS, DO NOT PRESS IT, THAT'S NOT THE RESET BUTTON, THAT'S THE MAKE EVERYTHING EXPLODE BUTTON!

[eli_gone_crazy]

Why don't you take the button away from Mimsy? I'm sure it would be safer for all of us if you had it.

[Endless Sea]

I trust Sicon's judgement. Let's see what Mimsy does with the button. Also, you start calling people fools again, Pyro, and you get a Thulhu-slurpie to the face. *sips* Mmm, demonic.

(also, there isn't actually a reset button or make everything explode button. I checked. Nothing. *shrug*)

[The Wild West Pyro]

I trust Sicon's judgement. Let's see what Mimsy does with the button. Also, you start calling people fools again, Pyro, and you get a Thulhu-slurpie to the face. *sips* Mmm, demonic.

(also, there isn't actually a reset button or make everything explode button. I checked. Nothing. *shrug*)

*Getting choked by Nyarthelop*

[AMimsyBorogove]

...

*uses non-laser arm to deconstruct red button, absorbing its destructive power in the form of potential and fusing it to the Satella Anima Arm Cannon. However, the past is altered nonetheless, since now the Borogove simply spends the time he otherwise would have used to nuke everything, including Pyro, shooting holes in the moon.*

[Sicon112]

Checkmate.

You see, firing that gun triggered the effect of the button, which wasn't some kind of explosion effect, but in fact simply triggered a one time trap that should be going off just about... now.

*Space around Pyro and the robot army folds and they are all crushed into a superdense mass of atoms and flung outward as space snaps back into place, colliding into Mimsy and 18 times the speed of light*

Well, that went well.

[AMimsyBorogove]

*catches incoming Pyro-robot-lightspeed-ball with potential drain arm, deconstructing the entire mass and absorbing its speed.*

WHEE! *crashes self into the moon at 18 times the speed of light.*

[Sicon112]

And that went even better. Now pyro is trapped in the arm of a maniac shooting through space. And that is why you never try to raid my fortress.

[AMimsyBorogove]

Actually, he's just immobile now, since I absorbed all of his speed. Of course, since I deconstructed him in the process, he's now actually a collective of countless chibified versions of himself.

[Sicon112]

I don't think it works that way.