by IslaKariese on Tue Dec 30, 2014 11:04 pm
Okay, guys, I just needed to rant about something really quick that's actually pissing me off quite a bit.
I start school again on Monday, the 5th of January. Today is the 30th, so I've got less than a week. Due to issues this time last year, I have a book that I bought a year early for a class I couldn't take at the time but will be taking this semester, so I've been looking for it. After a few days of looking, I don't find it, so I pull up a picture of it so that my mom can see it and tell me if she's seen it and, if not, help me look for it. She gets off on me for leaving it so late and, okay, I'll admit that it is a bit later than usual and it's a bit irresponsible of me to only ask her now, since this stuff takes a while to order, but I tell her that I haven't left it too late and she then helps me look.
After practically gutting the house, we haven't found it, and she's pissed cause it means ordering a new one. The last place to look is in her room. Guess where it fucking is. And then, when she pulls it out, she practically tosses it at me, ranting again about how late I left it and who has to find it for me? I didn't say anything except thank you and then went to hide in my room but what I would never have the self control to say to her face without cursing my head off is this: Of course I didn't fucking find it if it's in her room! What the fuck is my textbook doing in her room? And she's mad because I couldn't find it!? I NEVER put anything in her room! It was in her room because she fucking put it there!
And I can't even say this shit to her because if I make even one comment that even remotely sounds like something she doesn't want to hear, she guilt trips me over disrespecting her, even if I clearly didn't mean it that way. In this situation, it is very much disrespectful to curse her out, no matter how deserved it may or may not be, so my own conditioning as a loving, respectful daughter makes me hold my tongue.
And don't get me wrong - I love my mother. We get along great most of the time! That just makes it worse when shit like this happens and I can't even try to point out why I'm mad without her taking it the wrong way. *exhales violently and goes to try and calm down*
The voices in my head tell me that we saved the world. However, they also told me that George Clooney's face is on the dollar bill, so... meh. The voices are more fun, anyway.