The Immortal Teddy Bear

[Lordxana0]

There is a Teddy Bear, no real reason why it needs to or should be destroyed, but the entire world wants it gone and done with. You are allowed all force necessary to take it out, but be warned! It shall not fall easily.

So this is how the game works. Players set up a contrived death trap in order to destroy the teddy bear, and the player after that player creates a scenario that makes the teddy bear survive against all odds without a scratch on it. And than the player who wrote its salvation will create the next death trap. And so on and so forth.

This is the picture of the target
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/c ... ear_27.jpg

[Sophira]

Why do we want to destroy a poor, defenseless teddy bear?

in any case, if it has to be destroyed, I'm going to want to hug it until it wears out by sheer force of hugs.

[Victin]

Unfortunately, the Teddy Bear is just too fluffly. You hug it the hardest you can until you pass out of pure exhaustion.

I attempt to do something, from a safe distance: stare the Teddy Bear into oblivion.

[Krika]

Unfortunately, the Teddy Bear doesn't need to blink. You quickly find yourself out-stared.

This has gone on long enough - you make a drastic decision. It is time to send a puppet to defeat a puppet. You find your old, loyal stuffed lion, and send it against the bear.

[Dryunya]

They both sit and stare at each other - they're toys, duh.

You gather your old toys, including the one with a cowboy hat, and throw them into an incinerator.
With the Teddy, I mean.

[JRPictures]

Sadly throwing all of those toys at the same time means not all of them get into the incinerator, including the bear.

Desperate, you grab out two pairs of scissors and prepare to cut the bear into pieces.

[The Wild West Pyro]

Sadly throwing all of those toys at the same time means not all of them get into the incinerator, including the bear.

Desperate, you grab out two pairs of scissors and prepare to cut the bear into pieces.

The bear still stands.

You activate the Cybermen in your loft and they fire at it with every single laser or WMD they have.

[Krika]

Alas, a bug in their targeting software means that while Best Korea may not exist anymore, the bear remains unharmed.

You rummage around in your grandfather's old hunting chest, and find both a shotgun and several shells. It's time to hunt it like the big game it is!

[The Wild West Pyro]

Alas, a bug in their targeting software means that while Best Korea may not exist anymore, the bear remains unharmed.

You rummage around in your grandfather's old hunting chest, and find both a shotgun and several shells. It's time to hunt it like the big game it is!

The buckshot severs the arms of the teddy and blasts several holes in it, but NO, it keeps on going like the Black Knight!

So you have no choice but to crush it. You put it at the bottom at a flight of stairs in LA, so when the piano being carried up by two VERY incompetent deliverymen in bowler hats slides down, it will DIE! MUHAHAHAHAHA!

[Scarab]

*Takes the teddy bear*
*Hugs it*
*refuses to let anybody touch it* 8(

My bear now. Mine.

[Victin]

Unfortunately, Scarab hugs the Teddy Bear seconds before Pyro's piano hit it. Her body protect it from any damage, and she is now being healed and receiving lots of hugs and cookies.

I try to avenge Scarab by throwing a bucket of water at the Teddy Bear, then letting it to freeze inside a refrigerator.

[JRPictures]

Unfortunately the fridge breaks down leaving the bear wet but not frozen.

Left with no choice, you grab out a flame thrower and set the bear on fire.

[Endless Sea]

The fire fails to work, since the bear was just in a very cold freezer. And wet. That was also a thing.

Using a tremendous slingshot, the bear is thrown out of Earth's atmosphere and into the sun at immense speeds!

[The Wild West Pyro]

The fire fails to work, since the bear was just in a very cold freezer. And wet. That was also a thing.

Using a tremendous slingshot, the bear is thrown out of Earth's atmosphere and into the sun at immense speeds!

And it turns out the Enterprise intercepted it. DANG IT KIRK, Y U DO DIS?

Now, the bear is being used as phaser target practice.

[Krika]

However, the phasers are all set to stun, which, not being alive, does nothing to the bear.

After desecrating the cultural artifact with target practice, they return it to the planet, however a transporter malfunction places it next to an about-to-explode bomb on a testing site.

[Dryunya]

It then absorbs the energy of the explosion, which is hand-waved by Star Trek technobabble about the transporter after-effects.

According to the same technobabble, its molecular structure is now unstable, and he can desintegrate at any moment. Maybe it was supposed to be a sequel hook?

[The Wild West Pyro]

It then absorbs the energy of the explosion, which is hand-waved by Star Trek technobabble about the transporter after-effects.

According to the same technobabble, its molecular structure is now unstable, and he can desintegrate at any moment. Maybe it was supposed to be a sequel hook?

Nope.

The Teddy Bear somehow wills itself together.

So I feed it to Godzilla.

[Victin]

Godzilla eats you both, but it only has the ability to digest flesh, and the Teddy Bear is not flesh, so it comes out of Godzilla just like it came in.

... I call in a governmental agency in order to quarantine and sanitize the possibly radioactive Teddy Bear.

[The Wild West Pyro]

Godzilla eats you both, but it only has the ability to digest flesh, and the Teddy Bear is not flesh, so it comes out of Godzilla just like it came in.

... I call in a governmental agency in order to quarantine and sanitize the possibly radioactive Teddy Bear.

As they all die horriby, the Doctor materialises on top of it wearing a fez and bowtie duct-taped to a hazmat suit and busily starts irradiating it.

Seconds later, screams from him and Clara are heard coming from the TARDIS. They run out in shredded hazmat suits and their underwear and ask you to help.

You summon some of the Doctor's allies-Strax, ten legions of Sontarans, 50000 Ice Warriors, 30000 Judoon and Madame Vastra, plus two battalions of UNIT soldiers. You draw your Weapon Of Choice and rush in as the Doctor and Clara limp to a hospital.

[Anura]

Everything you summoned starts fighting each other because they're far from the Doctor's allies, and certainly not friends of each other.

In the confusion, the Teddy falls into the Heart of the Tardis.

[The Wild West Pyro]

Everything you summoned starts fighting each other because they're far from the Doctor's allies, and certainly not friends of each other.

In the confusion, the Teddy falls into the Heart of the Tardis.

Meanwhile the Master laughs at his mass brainwashing prank which has affected everyone in a huge radius, so everyone in Britain is now trying to kill each other with anything they can get their hands on, but that'll be dealt with when the Doctor comes back. Ignore this, by the way, it's got nothing to do with the bear. Focus on what happens to the bear.

The TARDIS immediately vomits the bear into a post-apocalyptic world. Along with you.

[IslaKariese]

Well, the apocalypse already happened, so there's nothing here except the ruins of civilization.

Instead, in a fit of desperation, you take a bite out of the bear. It tastes awful.

[The Wild West Pyro]

Well, the apocalypse already happened, so there's nothing here except the ruins of civilization.

Instead, in a fit of desperation, you take a bite out of the bear. It tastes awful.

The Bear headbutts you. You get mad and start throwing rocks at it.

[Dryunya]

Since the bear obviously can't headbutt you (he's a toy, duh), you were mad even before you started throwing rocks at him. So you were only throwing rocks in your mind.

When you come to your senses, you realize that you're alone in a wasteland, and there's nothing to eat but Teddy Bear. So you do exactly that.

[Victin]

Just like Godzilla you can't digest the Teddy Bear.

... You look disgusted at the Teddy Bear, and refuse to acknowledge its mere existence.