The Immortal Teddy Bear

[JackAlsworth]

The unfortunate thing about the teddy bear is that it is true, whether or not you believe in it.

Frustrated by its lack of failing to exist, you construct a time portal device and fire a rocket at the factory in which the bear was created all those years ago.

[Victin]

Unfortunately, time travel is impossible by the laws of physics.

Realizing you've wasted 30 years of your life with something literally impossible, you flip out and go beserker at the Teddy Bear.

[Endless Sea]

You swing too high and miss. Way to go, buddy.

Realizing that your hand-eye coordination is absolutely abysmal, you decide instead to fry everything within sight with eye lasers. Because eye lasers.

[The Wild West Pyro]

You swing too high and miss. Way to go, buddy.

Realizing that your hand-eye coordination is absolutely abysmal, you decide instead to fry everything within sight with eye lasers. Because eye lasers.

You fry everything...except the Teddy Bear, which was hiding behind that conveniently placed laser-proof concrete block.

You pick it up and try to rip its head off.

[Victin]

You fail the STR check. In another fit of fury, you throw it into the ground.

[Krika]

It is, however, a teddy bear and therefore extremely resistant to blunt-force.

There comes a time in every life in which you just have to do what a person has to do. You get out a drill and perforate that sucker.

[The Wild West Pyro]

Then you discover the Drill has only 1% of fuel yet as you're about to tear the Bear in half.

So you bang on the TARDIS door. The Doctor opens it, lets you in, and while you make yourself at home and Clara makes a souffle, the Doctor scans the bear.

He then tells you that it's actually Sutekh's teddy bear and therefore indestructible, but he says he can see what happens if he throws it into a black hole.