Homestuck (WARNING: SPOILERS)

[Endless Sea]

Still laughing my ass off, by the by. =D

[IslaKariese]

Well, John summed up this whole update quite nicely.

[Anura]

At least we won't get any more fuckups from Spider8itch v2.0.

[IslaKariese]

I think Hussie had a bit too much fun detailing the sheer destruction of six planets at once...

[IslaKariese]

As proof that I put too much effort into understanding some of Hussie's in-jokes of Homestuck (even as a bemoan the fact that I could look this up elsewhere), I've translated the first Alternian words we see in the comic.

This one translates to "Turd-odor Fuckball."

And this one translates to "Trollplanet."

And we tried to name this guy "Bulgereek Nookstain." How precious.

This has been brought to you by News You Never Friggin' Asked For, co-hosted by Paul Crastination. You're welcome for that, you ungrateful piece of $#!+.

[Lordxana0]

That update...

I am not crying. You're crying. Shut up.

[IslaKariese]

Really, I'm just waiting for John to break down. It's a bit overdue.

[Anura]

That update...

I am not crying. You're crying. Shut up.

I know I'm crying. Rose...

[IslaKariese]

I'm also mad that Rose's death was suddenly heroic. She didn't die saving anybody! Avenging, maybe, but should that count? It really shouldn't count.

[Victin]

I'm also mad that Rose's death was suddenly heroic. She didn't die saving anybody! Avenging, maybe, but should that count? It really shouldn't count.

Hussie made a newspost about it. Have seen you already?

Also: have you seen Dante Basco's video about Homestuck?

[IslaKariese]

Yes to both. I'm satisfied with Hussies explanation and mildly disturbed by the video.

[IslaKariese]

*Reaches end of update* ...My chest is starting to hurt a little.

[Lordxana0]

*Reaches end of update* ...My chest is starting to hurt a little.

I really don't want John to die.

[Victin]

*Reaches end of update* ...My chest is starting to hurt a little.

I really don't want John to die.

But he already did! Twice!

[IslaKariese]

*Reaches end of update* ...My chest is starting to hurt a little.

I really don't want John to die.

But he already did! Twice!

Yes, but those were a doomed timeline and a God tier death. For John to perma-die is inconceivable and unforgivable and I will kill Hussie if he does.

[Lordxana0]

So did anyone else get all giddy at that last update? Because it was freaking adorable.

[IslaKariese]

...So, correct me if I'm wrong, but Jade's story makes it seem like she's not the Alpha Jade, since her John died to further the goals of Alpha John, yes? If so, does that mean our John's been in a doomed reality the whole time?

But wait, then where'd LOWAS come from if it exploded in the dead Jade's reality? Who died? Did she still go Grimbark? God, Hussie, way to make things even more confusing right before the weekend...

[Blurred_9L]

Well, I think this means that there's only one John across all realities right now or something like that .-.

LOWAS exploding was probably paradox space retroactively correcting itself. Still, pretty confusing. I'm not even sure if what I'm saying makes sense. .-.

[Victin]

Right now, I think we have two possibilities: either the Jade talking to Calliope is an alternate version of Jade, or she was an alternate version of Jade turned into the Alpha Version by John and Typheus.

[IslaKariese]

It's hard to say what the Alpha timeline even is now that John can change things without dooming everyone. Maybe timelines are collapsing into each other since there's no Alpha, if that's the case? And it's weird to think that all this time the Jade that was with Calliope was not Grimbark Jade, though it might make a bit of sense - she doesn't remember dying, despite having been in the bubble for a while, which was sort of the same situation that the John who died by Typheus was in. Without backtracking properly, we don't even know if she's dead or not.

[Victin]

Since John is not bound by Paradox Space, I believe whichever timeline he messes with "is" the Alpha, since he can turn any of them into the Alpha. There still are non-Alpha timelines, and John can interact with those, but ultimately it all leads to him creating the Alpha timeline.

[IslaKariese]

And doesn't that just make my head hurt more. Alright, well. Guess we'll have to wait for Monday since all this speculation is doing is getting me hyped all over again.

[IslaKariese]

...That...was just barely grand enough to make up for being a one-page update...

[Anura]

Huh. That happened.

[Endless Sea]

And suddenly I have another favorite updort.