Life

[Victin]

Well, as some of you may know, I'm 14. I have a whole life in front of me. Most of you probably passed through this, and I want some help. These days I've been facing that I will have to study, get a job and find a love. I think I may be even having an Heroic BSOD on it. I need some help, some advice. How did you choose what you were going to study? How did you get your job? How did you find your love?
Sorry if I'm being annoying or invasive

[The Finch]

Life is a curious thing. Everyone goes through it and makes life whatever way they want it to be.

[Pixelmage]

Finch is right. Experiment away, for SCIENCE! It's fun.
My own experience is of the fucking weird kind. So I'm not exacly a good model to follow.

[IslaKariese]

Well, you have to know what you like, for starters. No use studying something that you don't even appreciate. Like me: I discovered yesterday that I've been taking so many psychology classes that I may as well apply for it as a minor. I'm all but finished with the requirements. And that was just cause I LIKED taking psychology classes. See?

As far as love goes... well, obviously it's different for everyone. I haven't found love yet. I dream of the perfect guy (or as close as we can get to perfect) and someone strong to hold me close. I also have a preference for someone all around bigger than me, and not so that we can fit the Huge Guy, Tiny Girl trope. Not just, anyway.

But this is a woman's opinion, which I can't say is helpful or not to man. Or a 14-year-old just learning the world. The best you can do at this point is just relax and let life live.

And I don't have a job, so I can't help there. Sorry!

[Lordxana0]

Well, as some of you may know, I'm 14. I have a whole life in front of me. Most of you probably passed through this, and I want some help. These days I've been facing that I will have to study, get a job and find a love. I think I may be even having an Heroic BSOD on it. I need some help, some advice. How did you choose what you were going to study? How did you get your job? How did you find your love?
Sorry if I'm being annoying or invasive

Do you want a motivational speech from me?

[Krika]

Well, figuring out what you want to study is kind of something that you can't exactly put rules to. Ideally, it's something that you love to do, and you want to be doing. However, in the (admittedly high) chance that you don't figure that out, just pick a field that you like, and work from there. You'll figure out something that you like doing along the way, it's really something that you have to work out on your own. Other people can help you figure out what you like or want, but in the end it's going to be you that decides "I like this career."

As for a job, that's not exactly something you really need to be worrying about at 14. Sometimes you'll have to do a job that you don't really like because you need the money. Sometimes you'll have a job that you love and that you then get fired or laid off from. It's a pretty diverse set of options, but unless you are in a vastly different set of circumstances than what I went through, you really shouldn't worry about that until you hit 16 (or whatever the legal working age in your country is (I'm defaulting to US here, and why the hell don't I check the map to answer that question? *checks* Ok, Brazil. I know nothing about legal ages for anything there)), or possibly college. Either way, don't worry about it. You'll have people to help you along that road when the time comes (My dad is the entire reason I got my first real job (and his uncle for him), and I will forever be indebted to him for that, in addition to the whole fact that he's my dad). So don't be afraid to ask people who are more experienced than you for help.

You know, I am probably one of the least qualified people here to talk about love, so take this with a grain of salt the size of San Diego. (I am also going to assume you are talking about romantic love here) First of all, you might not need to find love to be happy, so feeling compelled to find love is probably a bad thing (not saying you are or will be, just a pointer). Secondly, it's really not something that you can put into words. I've basically said that before for the above things, but this time it's exponentially more appropriate. It doesn't make sense, and is very much a contradictory emotion. You might think you have it and you don't, and you might never notice that you do have it. It's weird and hard to explain, and something that you very much need to go along with. Another point is the difference between emotional, physical, and intellectual love, which is a about a dammed essay worth of material, so I won't go into it, but that's something else to keep in mind. Basically, if you fall in love, you'll most likely figure it out. If you don't, you'll be fine, don't worry.

Finally, life in general. My philosophy amounts to "Shit happens. Deal with it." It's not the greatest philosophy in the world, nor is it all that useful. I live very much in the present, but that is at the expense of not being good at planning (I should be doing math homework right now) or keeping track of the future as it becomes the present, nor holding onto the past (which is both a good and bad thing, and may or may not be related to my kinda bad memory). However, I do try to take things as they come, and not let the thoughts of what could happen, or what could have happened bother me (mixed success, but eh). Basically. like is a journey, and you decide what happens on it. It's your choices, your outlook, your goals that determine how you view life. I can't tell you how to live your life, because it's not my life and if I did tell you how to do it then it would take the entire point of living out of it. You will figure this stuff out at some point. You may be freewheeling at times, but that happens to all of us, and you'll figure out what to do. Basically, you're on your own (and that's kinda the point of you living your own life, really). So good luck on life, and may it be a good one.



And this has been another exciting episode of "Krika's Vaguely Stereotypical and Partially Cliched Advice!" Tune in next time!

[Zup]

At fourteen, you have to realize that all the important stuff will eventually figure itself out. Do not stress about it now. I didn't really know what I wanted to do until my senior year of college, and I am just now going to get my masters and pursue that goal. It took an entire degree in English literature, which I enjoyed because I love to read, to recognize that I wanted to get into the publishing biz. So there's really no reason to think you have to have it all figured out right now.

As for love? Develop yourself. Entertain a diverse set of interests, go to the gym, find out who you are. Then, when the right girl comes along, she'll be interested in you because you are interesting.

[Victin]

Well, as some of you may know, I'm 14. I have a whole life in front of me. Most of you probably passed through this, and I want some help. These days I've been facing that I will have to study, get a job and find a love. I think I may be even having an Heroic BSOD on it. I need some help, some advice. How did you choose what you were going to study? How did you get your job? How did you find your love?
Sorry if I'm being annoying or invasive

Do you want a motivational speech from me?

Yes, please.

[narrativedilettante]

Well, I'm 23 and I haven't yet found love, barely have a job, and am unsure whether to continue in the branch of study I've been working with. So I definitely don't have any reliable advice about finding those things.

However, in terms of study... well, I'm not sure where you live, and that makes a difference. When I was 14 I could choose some of the classes I took, but it didn't make a huge difference to my future. However, I understand that some people have the opportunity (or obligation) to start specializing at a much younger age than I did.

The advice that I do have is to consider what you enjoy more than what you think will make you money. I met someone in his first year at college who already hated the field he was studying, but didn't consider switching to be an option because he would make a lot of money in that field. He was the most depressing person I've ever met.

Especially when you're young, do things that you love. Of course, you might not know what you love. So feel free to take risks. Try new things. Be sure to try things that you're afraid to do. Go outside your comfort zone. Challenge yourself. People regret the things they didn't do more than the things they did do.

There's time to fall back on things that are easy and reliable later in life. Do the things that are exciting but might fail, and if they do fail you can do something dull that won't fail. But if you start out with something dull just because it's unlikely to fail, then you're probably never going to try the exciting but risky thing that might fail.

Laconic: Listen to passion, not fear.

[JRPictures]

I'm 16 turning 17.

I don't have a job, never found love (or a girlfriend of any kind) and I absolutely hate school.

But I deal with it because sh*t happens and you have to face it no matter how hard you run away from it.

I'm about to enter my last year of school and I swore to myself I would make it through and succeed even if I don't want to go to university or film school because of my tiredness of handling another year or two of schooling.

So all in all.

Fall down Seven Times, Get Up Eight (I congratulate all who know where this line is from)

[Guyshane]

Well I'm still just trying to find my place in the world. I'm in college and the girl I was in love with broke up with me because the relationship was long distance and too much pressure for her. I don't know. Honestly my best advice is: keep adapting. No matter what happens don't give up

[agoraoptera]

I just turned 16 recently so I'm not that much further ahead from you. I have been in a relationship once but well, I think that you can really afford to wait in terms of love. That sort of thing.. falls into place when it should. As to study, I suggest something that piques your interest. For example, my subject combination involved English Literature because I found out 2 years ago that I love writing. I honestly don't know much about my future either, but I have a vague plan involving Law, writing and becoming famous I just want to get a job next time to support myself so I can write, honestly. What are you interested in?

[Victin]

I just turned 16 recently so I'm not that much further ahead from you. I have been in a relationship once but well, I think that you can really afford to wait in terms of love. That sort of thing.. falls into place when it should. As to study, I suggest something that piques your interest. For example, my subject combination involved English Literature because I found out 2 years ago that I love writing. I honestly don't know much about my future either, but I have a vague plan involving Law, writing and becoming famous I just want to get a job next time to support myself so I can write, honestly. What are you interested in?

I was thinking of either studying game design or something else related to games, or even something related to manga and/or anime, but I'm not an otaku, so the latter would be more complicated. I have many ideas, but I either have a setting or a plot, so I can't get anything. And I really like the eastern way of drawing, thus my wish to make a manga or an anime. Either way, my problem is that I don't know if I can pull it off. Brazil isn't good in any of these terms, so I would have to move to another country, and then... I might or not get to do what I want. Either way, my back up plan is to move to Australia and work at something I don't dislike.

[Pixelmage]

You sound like my cousin.

See, what you say you want to do is something that's actually called "Media Development", it's my area of focus too. You have lots of options about that: Forget Games-Specific course. It SUCKS beyond belief. Go for Graphical Design, Computer Programming, 3D Modelling, stuff you find in Computer-focused, Engineering-focused and Art-focused courses.

Once you are a graphic designer, you can start your own animation studio, or work in publicity, or become an ilustrator for an existing studio.

I'm focused in programming and software design: I can make my own games by myself. I can get a job in customer support, I can freelance my own software tools.

If you go "I want to make games" you'll find that it's too limited a field of study. Pick the general area you want most, and learn the most you can about that field of skills: Drawing covers for books is no different from drawing an Anime Character, the drawing skill is the same.

Job? You're 14! Go play chess or something! Later on look for an internship in the field you'd like to study, it'll give perspective to see how the field actually works and help you choose what to study for college.

On to love though: I'm 21, never had a girlfriend. So feel free to ignore anything I ever say about that.

[Dryunya]

In my just-about-24, I feel incredibly old right now.

[Guyshane]

In my just-about-24, I feel incredibly old right now.

Meh your in your 20s lots of us here are. your certainly not the oldest person on the forums

[Victin]

In my just-about-24, I feel incredibly old right now.

Meh your in your 20s lots of us here are. your certainly not the oldest person on the forums

I think Zup is 34.

[IslaKariese]

Indeed not. Goldude has a wife and kids, which puts him in his mid-late 20s early 30s (I think). He's left, but the point still stands.

[Sicon112]

In my just-about-24, I feel incredibly old right now.

Meh your in your 20s lots of us here are. your certainly not the oldest person on the forums

I think Zup is 34.

That was a typo, Vic. It's actually 24.


Anyhow, there is a reason I never posted on this. I HAVE no life. I only vaguely know what I want to do in college, never had a relationship (never really tried either), etc. I'm not the best person to talk to about that. I'm OK with where I am and what I'm doing, for now at least. I guess I'll just forge on ahead and wing it. *shrugs*

[Sicon112]

Though as far as jobs go, I've had two for a while now. Honestly, I think it can be really hard, especially for teenagers, to settle down and hold a steady job. I've been doing a morning paper route for years, and this past year and a half I've been working in customer service. However, they never really bothered me. Why? Because I had one of the crappiest jobs on the planet before that.

It's called detasseling, and MAN it sucks. Once it hits July here, it starts, and the people working have to get up at like three AM, grab breakfast, and then hop on a bus. You drive out into the middle of nowhere until dawn, and then they drop you at a cornfield. You gotta go through the corn picking off ALL of the tassels, which are these little things on top of the stalk that can be really annoying to find sometime. You come through after they've already gone over it with a machine, so not every stalk has a tassel, but by the time you are done, NONE of them will. Hopefully. Otherwise, you come back in a day or two with less pay. In the morning, the field is sopping wet with dew, and then the sun rises, and BAM it's suddenly well over a hundred degrees, but you STILL have to wear long pants and a long sleeved shirt or the leaves cut you. If it rained or the field was watered, have fun getting through all that mud. The worst I've ever had to work in was a field where there was water up to my KNEES nearly the entire way down the row of corn. Oh, about the rows, they are AT LEAST half a mile long. You do this, going from field to field until late afternoon, when you drive home, get all the mud and crap off of you, and then pass out to wake up again the next day. This lasts every single day, weekends included, until the season is over, which takes from 2 weeks if you are lucky, to a month or more.

So, YES I like my weekend job sitting in the air conditioned lobby, talking to polite customers and invoicing their dry cleaning. It certainly beats walking through a cornfield all day! As long as you have had one REALLY crappy job, everything else seems unbelievably easy by comparison. Sometimes I find myself wondering, "WOW, I'm actually getting PAID for this?".

[Zup]

In my just-about-24, I feel incredibly old right now.

Meh your in your 20s lots of us here are. your certainly not the oldest person on the forums

I think Zup is 34.

LOL, to set the record straight, I am not 34. And Sicon, thanks, but it was a joke, not a typo. There's a big difference!

I am indeed 24.

[Scarab]

Wish I could advise you, hun, but honestly at 25 I've barely got a grip of my own life, I don't think I'd be the best person to ask for aid.

The only words of advice I would give would be the following words of advice, which a tutor gave to me when I was leaving secondary school:

1) Always be yourself. If you're not yourself you'll just get confused.
2) Serendipity means 'success acchieved through luck', but the harder you try, the luckier you get.
3) Swearing only highlights a lack of other useful adjectives.

Aaaand now that I've got that corny bit of useless assurance out of the way, I will hug you and wish you luck You have plenty of time to decide what you wanna do with yourself, Vic. Don't worry if other people seem to have plans and you don't yet. They're young too and their plans will probably change. And some of the most interesting people I know are.. .what, thirty odd now? And they still don't know what they want to do with themselves - but they've tried lots of things and had fun, rich lives because of it.

*Glomps you*

[Victin]

Wish I could advise you, hun, but honestly at 25 I've barely got a grip of my own life, I don't think I'd be the best person to ask for aid.

The only words of advice I would give would be the following words of advice, which a tutor gave to me when I was leaving secondary school:

1) Always be yourself. If you're not yourself you'll just get confused.
2) Serendipity means 'success acchieved through luck', but the harder you try, the luckier you get.
3) Swearing only highlights a lack of other useful adjectives.

Aaaand now that I've got that corny bit of useless assurance out of the way, I will hug you and wish you luck You have plenty of time to decide what you wanna do with yourself, Finch. Don't worry if other people seem to have plans and you don't yet. They're young too and their plans will probably change. And some of the most interesting people I know are.. .what, thirty odd now? And they still don't know what they want to do with themselves - but they've tried lots of things and had fun, rich lives because of it.

*Glomps you*

Sorry?

[Scarab]

Sorry?

Sorry for some reason Finch's name was in my mind when I wrote this (opening several threads at once is not good for coherency, I meant you *goes to fix it*)

[Qara-Xuan Zenith]

Reviving this old thread because, well, it's on my mind.

Despite a couple of false alarms, I've never found love, never dated-- though I'd kind of like to get a move on, since I'd always kind of expected to be married by five-years-from-now.

And as for jobs-- for the past year or two I've had my dream job, in one form or another, and managed to get it just by doing what I'm passionate about, as hard as I can.
But it's not a "real" job; it's a summer job, or a part-time job, and I'm going to NEED to think about "real" jobs soon.
And... well, lately I've been wondering if I should forget about doing what I'm passionate about in favour of something soulless that I'm actually good at and can actually make a living with.
I mean, it's a shame to throw away good dreams, but isn't it more important to be able to support that hypothetical five-years-from-now family?
And I'm a little anxious about the idea of wasting all the work that I've been doing for the past while to switch to a totally different program, but that's still better than wasting four or five YEARS on something that ultimately won't do anything for me.