The Day the Spambots Died

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The Day the Spambots Died

Postby Scarab on Sun Nov 04, 2012 6:54 pm

The talented Qara and I have pooled our creative skills and composed for you a very moving ditty, in honour of the tireless efforts of mods and users alike against a very real threat to the forum. Written to the tune of American Pie by... um.... Well, by whichever of the hundred odd artists who’ve covered that song was the first.

I was very surprised to discover this song is not as widely known as I thought it was, but all the same, here you go. Let it join Eye of the Troper in the ranks of really silly songs that came into existence on the forum.

At least two months ago
I can still remember how Off-Topic threads would make me smile...
And, Just for Pun and the Coffee Room, could lift us up out of the gloom
Just so that we'd be happy for a while

But then the spambots made me shiver with every message they'd deliver
yet another advert that seemed to think we're perverts
I don't know why they try to hide; they couldn't fool us though they tried,
And all their posts we can’t abide; it’s time the spambots died

So bye, bye all you fake spam bots farewell/
You’re annoying, kinda boring, in case you couldn’t tell/
We’re not clicking your links so you can all go to hell...
Can we get a moderator here please?
Get a moderator here please? :(


Did you put that captcha in, and do you have faith that we can win?
If Ed the Awesome tells us so?
It’s bad enough with uggs and bing,
Those pills won’t even do a goddamn thing
And which of you are actually just trolls?

Well, we know that you read Gulliver's log, 'cause we saw you posting on his blog
You linked us to your site, but man we just aren't going to bite.
We’re just a bunch of tropers kicking back, while the Cabal’s working on their next attack
And we could really do without you hacks,
Let’s hope the spambots die,

Chorus

Now, for two months we've been nerds and geeks though spam gets in cause the captcha's weak, but...
That's not how it used to be
When Joe started posting cause he smelled a rat, with a channel he'd used just to show his cat
In a voice that spoke to you and me

Oh, and while the Cabal was feelin' right the Cheshire hacked their archived site
The forum went splat – didn’t expect those hacks
Cause while someone hacked Tara to threaten and warn
We all got linked to some creepy porn
The mods face-palmed when morning dawned
Before the spambots died.

Chorus

Spamming, jamming all our channels with scamming, admins resorted to some button ramming
Twenty threads now, rising fast
The tropers all began to wail,
We had bigger problems on our tails, just with trying to keep Quixoute out of jail
Now the pill adverts are getting old, and the dodgy ones are growing bold
We made new posts instead, but then Uggs hijacked the thread,
Man there’s two hundred folks hanging in this place, but twenty percent of ‘em don’t have a face
They’re just spambots invading our space
Please, can’t we make them die?

Chorus

And there they were, thread after thread, an entire forum good as dead
With no time left to start again
the mods were nimble, the mods were quick- but the spam was still verging on squick, cause
bots just don't know how to make friends
And as I watched them fill my screen, I took a drink of something green
The mods worked themselves thin, still the spam was looking grim,
The tropers worked with gritted teeth, ‘at least the chat rooms still spam free’
but we can’t plot where folks can’t see
‘Bout time the spambots died,

Chorus

I managed to catch a mod one day, while he fought to make them go away,
And he just smiled and soldiered on,
I went down to the coffee room hoping for an explosive boom
If only to distract us from the truth
And on the boards the players wrote, discussing tweets and blogs and quotes, but
not an ad was spoken, the spam links all were broken
And the guys who we admire the most, Gurt, Mr. A and Average Joe,
rose up and made the hackers toast,
the day the spambots died

So bye, bye all you fake spam bots farewell/
You’re annoying, kinda boring, as if you couldn’t tell/
We’re not clicking your links so you can all go to hell...
Can we get a moderator here please?
Get a moderator here please?
Last edited by Scarab on Wed Nov 07, 2012 4:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
They sometimes say, "the place where I am right now was circled on a map for me"... Unfortunately, I kind of suck at orienteering.
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Re: The Day the Spambots Died

Postby Sicon112 on Sun Nov 04, 2012 6:59 pm

Victory achieved. :twisted:
Normal people are the easiest to manipulate. Too smart and they have an annoying tendency to catch wind of your plans, too dumb and, in the words of a certain pirate, "You can never tell when they are about to do something incredibly...stupid."
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Re: The Day the Spambots Died

Postby Scarab on Sun Nov 04, 2012 7:04 pm

Sicon112 wrote:Victory achieved. :twisted:


They do say that the greatest creative efforts come from suffering. :twisted:
They sometimes say, "the place where I am right now was circled on a map for me"... Unfortunately, I kind of suck at orienteering.
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Re: The Day the Spambots Died

Postby Qara-Xuan Zenith on Sun Nov 04, 2012 7:05 pm

Joe, Ed, Metaneko, Gurt, and Mr. A had better appreciate their shouts-out.
Lead by example. Get lost in a swamp.

AS DICTATED TO INSTANTIATION 17-01-18-01.
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Re: The Day the Spambots Died

Postby JackAlsworth on Sun Nov 04, 2012 7:06 pm

I'll have this song in my head every time I press the "delete post" button. Thanks, guys! :) :lol:
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Re: The Day the Spambots Died

Postby Guyshane on Sun Nov 04, 2012 7:28 pm

I'm surprised by how many people haven't heard of this song. Oh and the version thats the most famous in the Don Mclean version http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAsV5-Hv-7U
I say we nuke it from orbit...its the only way to be sure.
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Re: The Day the Spambots Died

Postby The Wild West Pyro on Sun Nov 04, 2012 9:04 pm

Scarab wrote:The talented Qara and I have pooled our creative skills and composed for you a very moving ditty, in honour of the tireless efforts of mods and users alike against a very real threat to the forum. Written to the tune of American Pie by... um.... Well, by whichever of the hundred odd artists who’ve covered that song was the first.

I was very surprised to discover this song is not as widely known as I thought it was, but all the same, here you go. Let it join Eye of the Troper in the ranks of really silly songs that came into existence on the forum.

At least two months ago
I can still remember how Off-Topic threads would make me smile...
And, Just for Pun and the Coffee Room, could lift us up out of the gloom
Just so that we'd be happy for a while

But then the spambots made me shiver with every message they'd deliver
yet another advert that seemed to think we're perverts
I don't know why they try to hide; they couldn't fool us though they tried,
And all their posts we can’t abide; it’s time the spambots died

So bye, bye all you fake spam bots farewell/
You’re annoying, kinda boring, in case you couldn’t tell/
We’re not clicking your links so you can all go to hell...
Can we get a moderator here please?
Get a moderator here please? :(


Did you put that captcha in, and do you have faith that we can win?
If Ed the Awesome tells us so?
It’s bad enough with uggs and bing,
Those pills won’t even do a goddamn thing
And which of you are actually just trolls?

Well, we know that you read Gulliver's log, 'cause we saw you posting on his blog
You linked us to your site, but man we just aren't going to bite.
We’re just a bunch of tropers kicking back, while the Cabal’s working on their next attack
And we could really do without you hacks,
Let’s hope the spambots die,

Chorus

Now, for two months we've been nerds and geeks though spam gets in cause the captcha's weak, but...
That's not how it used to be
When Joe started posting cause he smelled a rat, with a channel he'd used just to show his cat
In a voice that spoke to you and me

Oh, and while the Cabal was feelin' right the Cheshire hacked their archived site
The forum went splat – didn’t expect those hacks
Cause while someone hacked Tara to threaten and warn
We all got linked to some creepy porn
The mods face-palmed when morning dawned
Before the spambots died.

Chorus

Spamming, jamming all our channels with scamming, admins resorted to some button ramming
Twenty threads now, rising fast
The tropers all began to wail,
We had bigger problems on our tails, just with trying to keep Quixoute out of jail
Now the pill adverts are getting old, and the dodgy ones are growing bold
We made new posts instead, but then Uggs hijacked the thread,
Man there’s two hundred folks hanging in this place, but twenty percent of ‘em don’t have a face
They’re just spambots invading our space
Please, can’t we make them die?

Chorus

And there they were, thread after thread, an entire forum good as dead
With no time left to start again
the mods were nimble, the mods were quick- but the spam was still verging on squick, cause
bots just don't know how to make friends
And as I watched them fill my screen, I took a drink of something green
The mods worked themselves thin, still the spam was looking grim,
The tropers worked with gritted teeth, ‘at least the chat rooms still spam free’
but we can’t plot where folks can’t see
‘Bout time the spambots died,

Chorus

I managed to catch a mod one day, while he fought to make them go away,
And he just smiled and soldiered on,
I went down to the coffee room hoping for an explosive boom
If only to distract us from the truth
And on the boards the players wrote, discussing tweets and blogs and quotes, but
not an ad was spoken, the spam links all were broken
And the guys who we admire the most, Gurt, Mr. A and Average Joe,
rose up and made the hackers toast,
the day the spambots died

So bye, bye all you fake spam bots farewell/
You’re annoying, kinda boring, as if you couldn’t tell/
We’re not clicking your links so you can all go to hell...
Can we get a moderator here please?
Get a moderator here please?


I love it!

FREE LIMES FOR EVERYONE.
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FIRE!
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Re: The Day the Spambots Died

Postby JRPictures on Mon Nov 05, 2012 2:21 am

Awesomeness ACHIEVED :gurt: :gurt: :gurt: :gurt: :gurt:
JRPictures.
Going Meta since 2010.


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:gurt: :geek: :ugeek:
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Re: The Day the Spambots Died

Postby The Finch on Mon Nov 05, 2012 9:01 am

These parodies are amazing.

MOAR
I WANT YOU TO SAVE THE WALL AND WATCH PONIES
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Re: The Day the Spambots Died

Postby Dryunya on Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:07 am

I find it difficult to sing to.
I have attempted to suppress my inner hyperspace future gardener crying out against all the injustice I am committing.
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Re: The Day the Spambots Died

Postby Qara-Xuan Zenith on Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:19 am

Dryunya wrote:I find it difficult to sing to.


Why? I hope it's the tune, because we tried to make sure the metre was sound.

Also, I like your new signature!
Lead by example. Get lost in a swamp.

AS DICTATED TO INSTANTIATION 17-01-18-01.
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Joined: Thu Oct 18, 2012 8:34 pm

Re: The Day the Spambots Died

Postby Dryunya on Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:46 am

The song itself is kind of irregular. It's not about the fan version - it's nice. :)
I have attempted to suppress my inner hyperspace future gardener crying out against all the injustice I am committing.
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Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2012 12:23 am

Re: The Day the Spambots Died

Postby Scarab on Mon Nov 05, 2012 2:43 pm

Dryunya wrote:The song itself is kind of irregular. It's not about the fan version - it's nice. :)


Thank you :3 It is an awkward song isn't it? And every cover artist tends to do it a little differently. Still it was great fun for us to come up with lyrics to (Qara is awesome at this).


I also like your new signature. Let your inner Dryu never be silenced.
They sometimes say, "the place where I am right now was circled on a map for me"... Unfortunately, I kind of suck at orienteering.
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Re: The Day the Spambots Died

Postby Genndy Oda C.O.G. on Mon Nov 05, 2012 5:12 pm

I rather enjoy this quick ditty. It seems to match up with what I've seen so far.
Apparently, slightly less weird than most of you.
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Re: The Day the Spambots Died

Postby Qara-Xuan Zenith on Thu Apr 11, 2013 1:25 pm

This is what happens when I have exams to procrastinate studying on:

Audio.
Lead by example. Get lost in a swamp.

AS DICTATED TO INSTANTIATION 17-01-18-01.
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Re: The Day the Spambots Died

Postby S_o_S on Thu Apr 11, 2013 2:58 pm

Qara-Xuan Zenith wrote:This is what happens when I have exams to procrastinate studying on:

Audio.


... Qara, we need to collab some day. TWWF duet?
Not a distress call. Honest.
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