I was very surprised to discover this song is not as widely known as I thought it was, but all the same, here you go. Let it join Eye of the Troper in the ranks of really silly songs that came into existence on the forum.
At least two months ago
I can still remember how Off-Topic threads would make me smile...
And, Just for Pun and the Coffee Room, could lift us up out of the gloom
Just so that we'd be happy for a while
But then the spambots made me shiver with every message they'd deliver
yet another advert that seemed to think we're perverts
I don't know why they try to hide; they couldn't fool us though they tried,
And all their posts we can’t abide; it’s time the spambots died
So bye, bye all you fake spam bots farewell/
You’re annoying, kinda boring, in case you couldn’t tell/
We’re not clicking your links so you can all go to hell...
Can we get a moderator here please?
Get a moderator here please?
Did you put that captcha in, and do you have faith that we can win?
If Ed the Awesome tells us so?
It’s bad enough with uggs and bing,
Those pills won’t even do a goddamn thing
And which of you are actually just trolls?
Well, we know that you read Gulliver's log, 'cause we saw you posting on his blog
You linked us to your site, but man we just aren't going to bite.
We’re just a bunch of tropers kicking back, while the Cabal’s working on their next attack
And we could really do without you hacks,
Let’s hope the spambots die,
Chorus
Now, for two months we've been nerds and geeks though spam gets in cause the captcha's weak, but...
That's not how it used to be
When Joe started posting cause he smelled a rat, with a channel he'd used just to show his cat
In a voice that spoke to you and me
Oh, and while the Cabal was feelin' right the Cheshire hacked their archived site
The forum went splat – didn’t expect those hacks
Cause while someone hacked Tara to threaten and warn
We all got linked to some creepy porn
The mods face-palmed when morning dawned
Before the spambots died.
Chorus
Spamming, jamming all our channels with scamming, admins resorted to some button ramming
Twenty threads now, rising fast
The tropers all began to wail,
We had bigger problems on our tails, just with trying to keep Quixoute out of jail
Now the pill adverts are getting old, and the dodgy ones are growing bold
We made new posts instead, but then Uggs hijacked the thread,
Man there’s two hundred folks hanging in this place, but twenty percent of ‘em don’t have a face
They’re just spambots invading our space
Please, can’t we make them die?
Chorus
And there they were, thread after thread, an entire forum good as dead
With no time left to start again
the mods were nimble, the mods were quick- but the spam was still verging on squick, cause
bots just don't know how to make friends
And as I watched them fill my screen, I took a drink of something green
The mods worked themselves thin, still the spam was looking grim,
The tropers worked with gritted teeth, ‘at least the chat rooms still spam free’
but we can’t plot where folks can’t see
‘Bout time the spambots died,
Chorus
I managed to catch a mod one day, while he fought to make them go away,
And he just smiled and soldiered on,
I went down to the coffee room hoping for an explosive boom
If only to distract us from the truth
And on the boards the players wrote, discussing tweets and blogs and quotes, but
not an ad was spoken, the spam links all were broken
And the guys who we admire the most, Gurt, Mr. A and Average Joe,
rose up and made the hackers toast,
the day the spambots died
So bye, bye all you fake spam bots farewell/
You’re annoying, kinda boring, as if you couldn’t tell/
We’re not clicking your links so you can all go to hell...
Can we get a moderator here please?
Get a moderator here please?
